Title: If You Could Only See
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Post-ep for the S11 CSI: Vegas episode "Cello and Goodbye," and a sequel to the Greg/Nick fic "I'll Be Over You". Completely unrelated to the other Greg/Nick series that I write.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Nick Stokes, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Nick leaned back in his chair, sighing as he reached for his cup of coffee. This wasn't the place that he normally came to for breakfast after working all night, but he didn't want to go to the same place that he knew Greg frequented. It was too painful.

Besides, for all he knew, Greg might be there with his new boyfriend -- and he couldn't stand to see that. He wouldn't be able to act as though he was happy for them; he'd have much too hard a time hiding his feelings in front of anyone who might happen to be there as well.

He didn't want anyone else to realize what he was feeling. He and Greg had kept their relationship a secret for years; he didn't want the people they worked with to know about it now that they were no longer a couple. It would only be adding insult to injury.

Nick drained the last of his coffee, starting to get up from the table to go pay his bill, when he noticed a tall, handsome man walking towards him with an intent look on his face. Within seconds, he realized who it was, and a feeling of dread started to coalesce within him.

The man was Greg's new boyfriend. Nick hadn't gotten a close look at him when he had seen this man kissing Greg in the parking lot, but he had seen clearly enough to remember that face. It looked as though the two of them were going to talk, whether he wanted to or not.

Sitting back in the chair, he waited silently as the man slid into the chair across from his own, then lifted his gaze to study the man. Nick had to admit that he was very good-looking; it was no wonder that Greg had been attracted to him. Anyone would be.

"Hi," the other man said in a soft, measured voice, holding out his hand across the table. "I'm Jonah Mackenzie. And you're Nick Stokes. We've never met, but I've heard a lot about you from Greg. I wanted to talk to you. I hope you don't mind me tracking you down."

Nick started to give the man a tart, curt answer, but then he relented. After all, he had no right to be angry at someone who Greg had chosen to be with. And he wanted to find out what this man was like, to see if he was worthy of an angel like Greg.

"I know who you are, even if I didn't know your name," he said, reaching out to clasp the other man's hand. Jonah's grip was surprisingly firm; he was obviously a decisive man, someone who knew what he wanted. And who he wanted, Nick thought bitterly.

"You have every right to be mad at me," Jonah said, his voice still soft and a little hesitant. "But I don't there to be any bad blood between us. Or between you and Greg. You two still have to work together, and I don't want that to be hard for him."

All right, so score one point for Jonah, Nick thought as he nodded at the other man, encouraging him to go on. He obviously cared enough about Greg to make sure that he wasn't going to be harassed at work. It was what Nick would have done in Jonah's position.

"I'd never give Greg a hard time," Nick told him, leaning forward and propping his elbows on the table. "I'm not going to make things hard for him. You can trust me on that. But it's not that easy for me to turn my back on a relationship that I've been in for so long."

"I can understand that," Jonah told him, his gaze searching Nick's face. "I'm only here because I think there are some things you should know." He finally dropped his gaze, leaning back in his chair with a sigh, seeming as though he was reluctant to go on.

"I don't need to hear about your relationship with Greg," Nick said quickly, shaking his head. "If he's happy with you, then that's all I need to hear. I don't want to know any details, okay? You don't have to rub it in. I was a fool. I lost him. It's my own fault, and I know that."

"He still loves you." Jonah's voice was very soft, and for a moment, Nick wasn't sure that he'd heard the other man's words correctly. "He cares about me, maybe he even loves me. But he's not in love with me. Not the way I am with him. And not the way that he still is with you."

"How do you know that?" Nick frowned, shaking his head slowly. "That's kind of hard for me to believe. He told me himself that I needed to put the past behind me and move on, because he has. I don't think you've got it right, Jonah. Greg loves you."

"You can't know that," Nick murmured, though a surge of hope rose in him. If Jonah was right, if Greg still loved him, then maybe there was a chance for them. But if Greg was still in love with him, why didn't he just say so? Why was he with Jonah?

"I do know that," Jonah told him, his voice calm and steady. "But I'm a selfish man, Nick. I'm not going to try to force Greg to stay with me if he makes the decision to go back to you. But I'm not going to just stand back and give him up to you, either."

"I can understand that." And he could. Greg was too precious a treasure for anyone to just give up, Nick thought. In spite of himself, he couldn't help but like Jonah. He seemed like a fair man -- a good man. And he obviously cared about Greg.

"I love him, Nick." Jonah's voice was soft, but Nick could hear the firmness under the gently spoken words. "But I love him enough to let him make his own choices. I want Greg to be happy. And if he'd be happy with you, then I'll let him go. As long as it's what he wants."

"If you could only see the way we used to be when we were together, maybe you'd understand why it's so hard for me to just let him go, even if he's happy with you," Nick blurted out, regretting the words as soon as he said them. Jonah didn't need to know about his personal life.

"But I can understand," Jonah told him, his tone earnest. "Greg is an amazing man, Nick. I know that. I can understand completely why you don't want to give him up. And to be perfectly honest, I think he should be with you. But that's his decision to make."

"I won't push him either way," Nick said, the words coming out almost of their own volition. "If he loves you, then I'll accept that. But if you think he still loves me, you know I'll take him back with open arms. Because I love him. I always will."

"Just let him make that choice, Nick." Jonah's gaze was intense, his words soft and measured. "I won't push him, either. I'm not going to say anything against you, because I know that he still loves you. Greg cares for me. I don't doubt it. But he's not in love with me."

"So you're going to give him the chance to come back to me if he wants to? Aren't you afraid of losing him?" Nick frowned at Jonah's words, shaking his head slowly as though to clear it. "I don't understand your reasoning. Especially if you don't want to lose him."

"I don't," Jonah answered, his words coming out as slowly as Nick's. "But I'd rather see Greg happy with someone else than have him be with me and not really want to be there. I just want him to be happy, Nick. And if you love him, then that's what you want, too."

Nick nodded, knowing that there was nothing else he could do. "I do love him. More than anything in the world. And I want him to be happy." Nick sighed, looking down, unable to keep looking at the man who was Greg's new lover. "I just wish he could be happy with me."

"Give him the choice of who he wants to be happy with, Nick," Jonah said softly. Nick's gaze flew back to the other man's face; he couldn't believe that Jonah could be so selfless, that there wasn't some meaning hidden behind the words he was speaking.

But there wasn't. As far as he could tell, Jonah was entirely open and honest in what he was saying about his feelings for Greg. "If you could see how we used to be, maybe you'd know how much I love him," Nick said with a sigh, looking down again.

"I have seen that, in a way." When Nick looked up again, lifting his brows in mute question, Jonah hastened to explain. "Greg talks about you a lot. I know how much he loves you, Nick. And how much you love him. And even though it hurts, I think he'll come back to you."

"I'd do anything to make him happy," Nick whispered, his emotions getting the better of him. "Anything. I'd give up my job, I'd .... I'd do anything. I've made so many mistakes with him, and I want to fix them all. If he'd just give me the chance to do it."

"It's his choice." Jonah cleared his throat and stood up, offering his hand to Nick again. "We both have to stand back and let Greg make up his mind. Whatever he decides, I'll stand by it. And if he chooses you -- well, at least I'll know that he's happy. Nothing else matters."

Nick couldn't have agreed with him more. He was surprised to find that he didn't look at Jonah as an enemy; he seemed like a good guy, and it was obvious how much he cared about Greg. If he'd had to lose his boyfriend to another man, at least Greg was with a good one.

"I'll let him make his own choice," Nick said, taking Jonah's hand and clasping it firmly. "I'd say 'may the best man win,' but that sounds kind of selfish. So I'll just say that I hope Greg makes the choice that he needs to make and that he'll be happy with whatever he decides."

"I hope we'll meet again sometime, Nick," Jonah told him, his tone sincere. Nick didn't doubt for a moment that the other man meant what he said; he found himself liking Jonah, even though he couldn't really look at the man who Greg was now dating as a friend.

"Maybe we will," Nick answered with a smile. "But I've got to be honest and say that if we do, I hope Greg is back with me at that point." He wondered how Jonah would take his words; some people might look at them as a challenge.

But Jonah only smiled and nodded as he turned to leave. "And I'll hope that he's with me. But whatever he decides, as long as he's happy, then I will be, too." He raised a hand in salute, then he was gone, walking down the aisle and heading for the front door.

Nick sat there for a while after Jonah had left, turning the other man's words over in his mind. He was right; neither of them had the right to force Greg into being with one or the other. It was Greg's choice, and he had to make his own decision and do what was right for him.

He would never give up the hope that Greg wold come back to him. And if Jonah could only see with his own eyes how the two of them had been together, he was sure that Greg's current boyfriend would agree that Greg belonged back with him.

They had to let Greg make his own choice, Nick told himself as he got to his feet and headed for the cash register to pay for his coffee. He had to be patient, and wait for whatever Greg decided to do. It wouldn't be easy, but he would do it. And he would accept whatever that decision might be.

***

Next story in series - Before My Heart Finds Out.