Title: In Little Ways
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: PG-13
Table: Emotions, mission_insane
Prompt: 6, Compassion
Author's Note: Post-ep for the S11 CSI: Vegas episode "Cello and Goodbye", and a sequel to the Greg/Nick fic "The Second Time Around". Completely unrelated to the other Greg/Nick series that I write.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Nick Stokes, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. However, Jonah Mackenzie is my own creation, and I DO own him. Please do not sue.

***

Nick stood watching Greg as his boyfriend knelt before the tombstone, carefully laying a single white rose on the stone before he closed his eyes and bowed his head. Maybe Greg should be alone for this, but Nick hadn't wanted to leave him to his own devices.

He had promised to be beside Greg every step of the way from now on, and he meant to keep that promise. He wanted to be here with Greg when he had visited Jonah's grave, so his boyfriend would someone to lean on if his emotions overwhelmed him.

The last thing he wanted was for Greg to break down and not have anyone here to comfort him. He didn't exactly feel comfortable with being here at Jonah's grave, but Greg seemed to feel that he had a right to be here, and he wasn't going to argue.

He was going to stand by Greg, give his boyfriend all the attention he needed and deserved. He had learned the hard way that he had to put his lover first, before his job, before everything else in his life. He wished that he'd realized that a long time ago.

Greg stood up slowly, raising a hand to wipe away the tears that were trickling down his cheeks. Nick wasn't sure if he should take Greg into his arms, or if he should merely offer his boyfriend a shoulder to lean on as they made their way out of the cemetery.

Greg answered that question for him by looping his arm through Nick's and leaning against him, not saying a word as they left the cemetery and headed for where they'd parked their car. He was silent as they got into the car, still not speaking when Nick started the engine.

As he drove away from the cemetery, Nick glanced at Greg, realizing that his boyfriend was looking out of the window. He couldn't help but wonder if Greg was looking back at Jonah's grave, thinking of all the things that could have been for them.

Those plans that Greg and Jonah had made for their future together were nothing more than dust in the wind now; Nick hated seeing Greg so torn up, though if was forced to admit his own feelings, he'd have to say that he was glad Greg was back with him.

They still hadn't slept together, but as far as Nick was concerned, they didn't need to at this stage. That would come later, after Greg had dealt with his grief. Nick wasn't going to try to rush him through that; he had a right to grieve for a person he'd loved.

If he was completely honest with himself, Nick had to admit that he'd liked Jonah. He had been good for Greg -- and if the other man hadn't been killed, Nick hoped that he would have made Greg happy. But none of them would ever know now how that might have worked out.

He wasn't happy about what had happened to Jonah; maybe some people would have been, but Nick wasn't that selfish. He knew how much it had torn Greg apart, and he would rather not have seen the person he loved go through so much emotional trauma.

Besides, Jonah hadn't deserved what he'd gotten. He had been a good person -- obviously devoted to Greg, and willing to let Greg go if that was what it took to ensure his happiness. Nick had respected him, though they would never have been friends.

Maybe there were people who would tell him that he was being foolish to be so compassionate about Greg's pain; there might be others who would say that he should only encourage Greg to put Jonah and any memories of him out of his life. But Nick couldn't do that.

He knew what it was like to lose someone he loved, though not in the terribly violent way that Greg had lost Jonah. And even though it might seem as though he had "won," had he really? Was there any winner in a situation like this?

Yes, Greg was back with him now, but he had changed so much. He would never be completely the same, not after a heartbreak like this. He would eventually be more like his old self, but the happy-go-lucky Greg was gone forever, and Nick knew it.

Greg had matured a lot, and in some ways, that was a good thing. But he'd lost a bit of his innocence, part of his belief that somehow, things always worked out for the best. Nick was sure that his boyfriend would never think in quite that way again.

He had never felt such compassion for anyone's loss as he did for Greg now, but then, no one who had lost the person they loved had ever been as close to him as Greg was. Nick would do anything to ease that pain, anything to bring back the Greg he knew and loved.

Without thinking about what he was doing, he reached over to lay a hand on Greg's shoulder as he stopped the car at a red light. "Greg, whatever you need, I'm here for you," he said softly, squeezing the younger man's shoulder gently. "Just remember that."

Greg turned his head to give Nick a watery smile, the corners of his lips trembling. "I will, Nicky," he whispered, gulping back what Nick was sure would have been a sob if he had let the sound come out. "I'll be okay. I just .... need some time."

Nick nodded, understanding what Greg meant. He couldn't be expected to get over what had happened in a few days, or even a few weeks. But he was trying to move ahead, trying to put his life back together after it had been shattered into millions of tiny shards.

"You'll have all the time you need, baby," he murmured, his throat tightening. He wanted to tell Greg how sorry he was, how much he was loved, and that he would do anything to make this better -- but the words seemed to be stuck in his throat.

All he could do was show the compassion he felt in little ways -- by being there when Greg needed him, by holding his boyfriend close, giving him a shoulder to cry on, and letting him know that he wasn't alone. That meant more than any words could ever say.

At least, Nick hoped that those actions meant more than mere words. Anyone could say that they understood how Greg felt, or that they wanted to help him through this. Greg didn't need the words. He needed the gestures, the actions, the physical comfort.

Neither of them spoke on the way to Nick's house; he pulled the car into the driveway and turned the engine off, turning to look at Greg and wishing that he could find words that didn't sound trite to him. But there were no words; he could only express his feelings in actions.

Unbuckling his seat belt, Nick leaned across the front seat and slid his arms around Greg. Somehow, the other man moved seamlessly into his embrace, as though he had been expecting this very gesture, and had only been waiting for it.

Nick didn't know how long they sat there, his arms around Greg, the younger man leaning against him with his head resting on Nick's shoulder. It felt right to be here like this, with Greg in his arms, giving him what comfort he could and hoping that it was enough.

"I'm here, baby," he whispered, not knowing what else to say. "Whenever you need me, Greg, whatever you need me for, I'm here. I always have been, and I always will be. I'm yours, babe, no matter what. Just remember that, if you ever need anything."

"I need you now," Greg whispered, raising his tear-streaked face to Nick's. "I need to be with you, Nicky. I need us to try to be like we used to be. I know there's no going back -- but maybe it's time I started to move forward. It's the only thing I can do."

"I'm here to help you in any way you need it, babe," Nick told him again, moving one hand up and down Greg's back. "I'll always be here, Greg. I know it's hard to trust me because I haven't always been the best boyfriend in the past, but I hope we can start again."

"We can," Greg whispered, drawing back slightly and stroking Nick's cheek with soft, gentle fingertips. "We already have. I really loved Jonah, Nicky. I did. But now he's gone -- and he would have wanted me to be happy with somebody I love."

Nick could only nod, sending out a mental thanks to Jonah, wherever he was. He couldn't help feeling that Greg's former lover was looking down on them, smiling, happy that Greg had found his path. It was a comforting thought -- and one that Nick hoped Greg could hold close to his heart.

This was the beginning of a new life for the two of them -- a life where he'd always make sure that Greg came first, before any other consideration. He'd learned from his mistakes in the past, Nick told himself firmly. He wasn't going to make those same mistakes again.

Getting out of the car, he went around to Greg's side, opening the door for him. When his boyfriend got out, moving slowly, he slid an arm around Greg's slender waist, letting the younger man lean against him as they made their way to the front door.

He would give Greg all the compassion and love that was in his heart, in little ways and in every other, Nick vowed to himself. Starting here and now, his boyfriend would always know that he wasn't alone, from this moment until the end of their days.

***