Previous part of Lost and Found

***

"Fuck, I've obviously hit a nerve.  I'm sorry."  He blurted this out; the last thing he wanted to do was upset Gil.

"It's a memory I have.  You were not to know.  But it was specific.  Do you remember when I took that four week sabbatical a few years back?  You hugged me."  Gil smiled at Nick.

"I remember; I didn't think you'd be coming back."

"I was always going to be back.  I just needed some time...to think.  I grew my beard when I was away and when I got back..."

"...Sara shaved it off?  Look, man, I don't want to take away your memories.  You must have had some good times and those times will always be special to you..."

Gil put his razor down and turned to face Nick.  "That's the point, Nick.  I don't remember any good times; they are just...ordinary memories.  I cannot recall excitement or any moments that should be special or should be cherished memories.  That kind of puts it into perspective doesn't it?  That it was a disaster from the start."  Gil paused and then smiled a sad little smile at Nick.  "I'm looking forward to our trip out to the canyon more than anything...anything...since that sabbatical."

Nick smiled.  He put his fingers to the dried shaving soap. "You need to rinse this off or you'll get a sore face.  What we have, Gil, feels real good.  We're both old enough to know that we must be carrying baggage around.  But I think we're both old enough to know it's in the past and we...I think we have a future."

"You're so very wise, do you know?  Sensible."

"I get to be forty this year.  That's old enough to be sensible."

"I'm fifty-five.  I think I've been regressing."

"You got side-tracked.  I'll keep you focused.  We've got plenty of time to get this right.  I'm a keeper.  You have been warned."

"I need you, Nick."

"Yeah, I know you do."

They just looked at one another for a long moment.

Nick broke the silence. "Finish shaving, Grissom, and come get into bed.  We've got all the time in the world to talk about this.  I'll go warm the bed and think about visiting you in Paris."  Nick turned around and left Gil to shave in peace. 

Gil rinsed his face and started from scratch but it was hard trying to shave around his smile.

It took a few minutes and then Gil made his way to the bedroom.  Nick had ramped up the air con and it was cool in the room; he'd drawn the drapes, he had black-out blinds and it would have been almost black in the room if it wasn't for a single lamp on Nick's bedside cabinet...where the magazine still lay.  The flower's scent still hung heavy in the atmosphere...but it seemed to add to the coolness, the calmness in the room.

Nick was lying in bed with the bedding pulled right up.

"Warming the bed for you.  I like it cool in the bedroom but is it too cool for you?"

"No.  Perfect."

"Is this contrived?  I mean coming home from work and knowing that we're going to..."  Nick didn't finish his sentence.

"Nick?  No, it isn't."

"I know I said I didn't want to go slow, but do you think we're going too fast?"  Nick had been thinking about Tom and how he said Nick would never sleep with a guy on the first date and here he was falling over himself to get Gil into bed.  But then perhaps they'd been dating for nearly two weeks...or even over many years.  It all added up to being comfortable with each other.

Gil smiled.  He thought that Nick was as inexperienced as he was at relationships.  They would get on well....or not at all. 

"No. I don't.  If this is something you really want to happen then we should.  If you have doubts, Nick, then we shouldn't."

"I do have doubts..."  Nick saw Gil's face freeze in the half light of the room.  "...hey, not about us...us, remember?  Just about going too quickly.  I'm being contrary aren't I?  My Mom always used to say I was contrary kid."  Nick sounded rueful.

Gil chuckled.  "You are not being contrary.  This is a big thing...if you, in your heart of hearts want to slow down then we should.  I mean it, Nick."  Gil was serious.

"In my heart, Gil, really in my heart, I want you to stay here and never leave me.  I want to go to work and tell everybody what has happened and call my family and tell them and maybe even go to the Stratosphere and shout it off the top of the tower...that's what I want to do and yet I know it's not going to happen."

"Maybe not yet.  But it could happen.  When the Sara situation is resolved and over, then we could both do that, if that's what you want."

"I want.   And I also want you to get into bed and if you're too cold you're going to have to stay over the other side until you warm up."

"I thought you were warming it for me?"    

"Yeah, I was, but now I'm warm I don't want you freezing my balls off."  Nick grinned and pulled the blankets back for Gil to get into bed.  He noticed Gil's erection; it would difficult not to have noticed it and his own hardened up and jerked at the sight and the thought of touching Gil.

Gil's body was cold and he decided to ignore Nick's plea.  As soon as he was in bed and the blankets were over him his launched himself at Nick.  Lying half on top of Nick he kissed him, their mouths minty from their toothpaste.  Gil pushed his tongue into Nick's mouth and Nick's tongue duelled with it...and when Gil was desperate for breath he pulled back from Nick's mouth and kissed his neck and then up to his ears and let the tip of his tongue run around the rim and folds of first one and then the other ear.

Nick pulled Gil away so he could kiss Gil's neck and ran his teeth along his shoulder nipping at the skin.  Their erections were rubbing each other bellies haphazardly with both men trying to get a little more pleasure from rutting at each other.

Gil pulled away from Nick to be able to kiss him again and their wet mouths seemed made for one another and...

...Nick's cell rang.

"Shit, man, I'm on call."  Nick whined.

Gil pulled back and smirked.  "It's okay.  Answer it."

Nick leaned over and answered with a very curt ‘hello'.  He listened for a few moments and then burst out laughing.

***

"You're interrupting."  Nick said. "Yes.  Sex.  No shit.  It's not our first date."  Gil knew it was Tom. "Yeah, we're in bed.  He's here.  No, he's not.  Go away.  Yeah, yeah, I'll call you back with all the details!  Later."  He ended the call.

"You guessed that was Tom...wanting to know all the lurid details?"

"I did.  What's that about the first date?"

"One of his beefs about me was that I never put out on first dates.  Call me old-fashioned but I like to know whose cock I'm going to suck..." Gil chuckled.  "...but Tom thinks I'm conservative.  He said I'm a heartbeat away from being a Republican gay basher."  At Gil's raised eyebrows Nick clarified.  "He was joking.  Kinda...my brother...too long a story.  I thought we were getting hot and heavy."

"We were.  Now where was I?"

Instead of kissing Nick's mouth Gil ran his hand down Nick's chest and abdomen, marvelling, yet again, at the hard muscle and smooth skin his fingers encountered until he found a harder muscle covered in the softest skin.  Nick jumped a little and then sighed, contentedly.  But then he remembered.

"Hey.  Today is all about you.  I fell asleep on you yesterday; that's not going to happen today."  And with a supreme effort he held onto Gil and flipped him onto his back following through by rolling on top of him.

"Man, you're solid.  That's muscle, not fat."  He felt Gil's biceps and whistled softly.  "Just how strong are you?"

"I've always had pretty strong arms...it's just the rest of me that's turned to fat."

"Don't do that, Gil.  Don't do yourself down.  You could do with losing a few...but man, you.  Are.  Fit."  To prove his point more forcibly Nick dived down onto Gil's mouth and pressed Gil to the pillow while thoroughly kissing him.  He pulled back and grinned down at Gil.  He slid down the bed beneath the covers until he was kneeling between Gil's legs much the same as Gil had done to him the day before.  

He couldn't see much it was so dark.  "I could do with a flashlight."

Gil shook with a little laugh and lifted the covers. "Get on with it and stop complaining."

"Hey."  To show his displeasure he took the head of Gil's cock in his mouth and gently bit at the head.  He'd known Gil was circumcised from when he'd seen him the day before but, amazingly, had forgotten.  He nipped at the skin and tongued Gil's slit and was rewarded with a squirming Gil beneath him.  He could taste Gil and was quite happy that it wasn't as bitter as some he'd tasted and he chuckled to himself that he was thinking of other experiences while stuffing Gil's cock down his throat.

The chuckle made his throat vibrate and he felt Gil take a few sharp intakes of breath and he grabbed Nick's head with both his hands, his fingers kneading Nick's scalp.  Nick slipped one hand around the base of the cock to hold the part he couldn't swallow and with his other hand he fondled Gil's balls.  Surprised to find them much heavier than his own he rolled each one around and could feel them tightening beneath his fingers.

"I'm going to come...Nick...this is too much...not used to..."  Gil's strangled words reached his ears and he moved up a notch with his speed and tightness and in moments he could feel Gil's muscles tensing and heard Gil moaning as he pumped into Nick's mouth and throat and held onto Nick's head with a vice like grip.  It seemed to go on for minutes although in reality it didn't but Nick had to pull back to be able to breathe.

He sucked Gil dry and licked around the head until it was clean dipping his tongue into the slit and making sure he'd captured every last drop that Gil had to offer.

What Nick couldn't see was the smile on Gil's face.  Gil had had the best orgasm he could remember having for years...and then some.  What a difference a man makes.  No waiting around while your partner catches up.  No recriminations.  No sulking.  Just pleasure.  Plain and simple.  And spectacular.  He could have slept but he needed to tell Nick how he felt.  They could go to the Stratosphere and shout it out right now for all he cared.  This...  This moment was what he'd been waiting for...for maybe all his life.  So what if he'd had to wait for so long.  This.  Nick.  Was worth it.

"Nick?  You fallen asleep down there?"  He whispered as he lifted the bedclothes.  His voice couldn't manage normal speech just yet.

"No, just getting my breath back.  Was it okay?"  He crawled up the bed to lie beside Gil, his dick prodding Gil in his side.

"More than okay.  You know what you said about the Stratosphere?"

"Yeah?"

"Shall we go...now?"

"I think the blood's drained from your brain.  We got to wait a while yet."

"I don't care.  This...with you is what I've been waiting for."

"I know.  I know."  Nick felt tears prick his eyes and he put his head down on Gil's shoulder so as not to be seen; he was such a fucking girl.

"I wanted to take this slow.  I know you do too.  But..."  He felt Nick nod into his shoulder.  "What about you...let me finish you."  Nick nodded again and looked up and Gil saw the unshed tears glistening in his eyes and was so touched he could have wept with Nick and before he knew what he'd said he'd said it...

"I love you."

And then the tears did fall even as Nick tried desperately not to cry but he nodded quite emphatically unable to speak for a moment.

"Gil.  I know they say it happens when you least expect it...but this feels so right.  I love you...like I've never loved anyone before.  Anyone.  Ever."  He tried to lighten the mood.  "I'd love you even more if you did jerk me off."

Gil laughed and turned on his side to face Nick and hugged him tightly, feeling Nick's erection hard and trapped between them.

"Let me see what I can do."

***

Gil stepped up his exercise regime to make sure his new hiking boots were properly broken in before they embarked on their mini vacation to Bright Angel.  In truth he was a little apprehensive after his disaster on New Year's Eve.  That feeling of relief when he'd got back to his cabin had been because of a real panic that he wouldn't be able to make it all the way.

So his swimming and walking and his eating a balanced diet were really helping him.  He thought maybe he'd lost a couple more pounds in weight.  He was very pleased with his boots.  They were light but supportive and he knew they'd been a sensible and good buy.  He chuckled to himself...he really was changing when did he ever chuckle to himself so much...  Never before.  He knew that and it was all because of Nick Stokes.

The whole journey of getting to know him...oh, he knew that he knew Nick well enough from work, but that was surely all just the top layer...the public layer.  Nick would be as complicated as the next man; or would he?  Gil only had himself to go by and he'd always assumed he was pretty straightforward guy...but that was before...

He'd spent quite a lot of time...while swimming and walking thinking what Nick had endured in his professional life.  It also seemed that there were some family issues too; he'd mentioned, in passing, a brother and intimated that were some problems, but then it would be very likely if he really was a Republican gay basher.  And his sisters?  Was that just a normal large family jostling for position or did they really treat him as their personal slave.  Gil had no parameters in his own life with which to draw any parallels.

He would discuss it with Nick...eventually.  He knew he must take it steady.  He had to balance his curiosity with being circumspect.  It would all fall into place eventually and the last thing he needed to do was rush or push Nick.  He needed to give him the time and space so that this relationship could develop, and there he was again...chuckling.

Their days were busy with work their work. 

Nick's workload included all his own case work and a fair chunk of Catherine's paper work.  He didn't mind; the shifts flew past and he was always occupied.  He thought he was walking around with a grin on his face most of the time and several people mentioned his happy demeanour.  Three people attributed it to a new girlfriend.

Hodges...he smiled and didn't respond.

Catherine...he smiled some more and tapped his nose to indicate that he was keeping quiet about whoever she was.

Greg...he didn't smile but Nick mentioned to him that he hadn't had the paper work from him about a double suicide he'd dealt with the previous week.  Greg skulked off and returned about an hour later with a passable file.  Nick was always surprised at Greg's paperwork.  He expected more...he'd written a goddamned book after all...but his work was only just about okay; his scientific work was a great deal better than his field work.

But later he felt guilty about Greg and joined him on a routine burglary.  He discreetly checked Greg as he worked and decided he wasn't that bad...maybe it was mostly his paperwork and presentation skills that were lacking. He'd give him some help and guidance, after all that was his role as Assistant Supervisor.

So back at the lab he sat with Greg and went through the work and gave him some ideas about the way he prepared and presented his work.  Greg was so grateful...he had obviously been floundering and was too proud...or maybe too embarrassed to ask for help.  But after four hours with Greg they'd really put the case to bed.

"Nick, thanks for taking the time.  You know everyone's given a lot of their time helping me in the field...but you're the first person to give me a straightforward lesson in pulling it all together."

"You're welcome, Greggo.  It's my job after all and I should have done it sooner."

"But you do more work that anyone else and then some.   There...well...there's been talk about Catherine giving you far more stuff than she ever did for Grissom."

"Nah...Gil worked all the hours God sent and was still backlogged."  He laughed at his pronouncement, especially in that he now shared a bed with said Gil Grissom and wondered if Greg had noticed that he'd called Gil, Gil.  "Cath has a life.  She has Lindsay and Lou."

"Grissom had Sara.  But you know there's something funny going on there.  I was in Henderson the other day looking over a car I was going to buy and I could swear I saw Sara but she said she was in Paris.  It was her, Nick, I'm positive."

"Maybe she'd just got back."

"No, it was in the middle of her week off."

"What car was it?"  Nick thought he should try and change the subject.

"A Prius."

"Going all ecologically sound are you?"

"I didn't buy.  It was sluggish.  So what about you, Nick?  You cannot deny you've been happier and relaxed these last couple of weeks than you have for...before Warrick."

"Have I?"  Nick tried not to grin but couldn't help it.

"Yeah.  See...a big grin.  Who is she, do I know her?" Nick's smile faded and he swallowed. "It's not a girl is it...it's a guy.  I knew it."  Greg let out a whoop.

"Please tell me you haven't got a bet riding on this?"  Nick's stomach nearly fell into his boots.

"No.  Honestly."  He protested at Nick's sceptical look.  "It's just something I've thought for some time. I caught you staring at guys' backsides more than once...and the way you looked...well let me say it gave me a clue.  But there was no other evidence.  Until today and your admission.  Though you haven't actually said have you?"

"No.  But keep it to yourself, Greggo, under pain of death...I know how to dispose of a body."

"I know you do.  Fear not.  Anyway, so you have boyfriend."

Nick grinned and slapped him on the back...not lightly either.  He would have to keep a close eye on Greggo.  "Work calls.  I'll see if I can find you something nice to do...a dumpster dive maybe..."

Greg groaned.

When he got home much later that morning, it wasn't a dumpster dive that had kept them all occupied it was a murder central case.

"Hey babe.  Had a double murder central case just before shift ended."  He complained as they hugged.  "Do you remember..."

"...I do.  You learned a valuable lesson on that case...but you were the one who noticed the woman had stuck her tongue down that guy's ear."

"You treated me bad, man.  I was like the new boy all over again."

"Nick, I was your boss and you did talk to that guy."

"I know.  I know.  I'm sorry."  Nick dropped his head on Gil's shoulder and the truth of the matter was that he still felt the hurt, acutely, after all these years.

Gil held him and after a few moments whispered.  "I was unfair to you wasn't I?  I know I was.  I didn't know at the time I thought I was doing it for your good.  I was though, Nicky, look how good you've become...the student's now better than your old master. Maybe I recognised the fact that in the end you would be the best of the lot.  Maybe I was jealous..."

Nick had listened to Gil's almost stream of consciousness whispers and pulled back and looked at Gil.  "No one will ever be better than you..."

"...don't do yourself down.  You're a much better all-rounder than me. You understand people better...the living and the dead.  Their lives."

"How did we get all maudlin?"

"We didn't.  We're being circumspect."  Gil smiled at Nick.  "Hungry?"

"No.  I'm going to go for a run?  You been to the pool?"

"I have.  It's too early for my walk and I have some work to finish."

"Right.  When I get back I'll eat something and tidy the yard...I've been thinking about re-arranging the pots."  He grinned at Gil's raised eyebrows.  "I like to rearrange them fairly regularly...don't like them to get too comfortable."

"Tell me you don't talk to them..."

"I don't...much."  The mood lightened; Nick pulled back and kissed Gil.  "And if I need to get to sleep I can depend on you for a little...encouragement?"

"Encouragement?  That's a new euphemism."

"It'll do.  Come on.  Did Tom phone?"

"No.  I'm not answering your phone again."

"But if you hadn't you wouldn't have had the definitive proof you were after."

"True.  I'll listen to the message first then."

"You do that.  Right, I'm  going to change."

Tom didn't phone and before work Nick packed all his gear so that they could make a quick getaway when he got home from work.  Catherine had agreed to take the lead on cases so Nick could get away on time.  Maybe he would tell Catherine...everything...or maybe not.

***

Nick drew the short straw because the night was light on crime; but heavy on paperwork.  Catherine had already piled his inbox with files...but then had time to check the physical evidence of cases with Greg and Ray.  Sara was out and about.

But Nick was diligent.  He carefully checked everything and returned files to each of the team for various discrepancies.  He always felt good for finding something wrong.  Not because he liked to rub it in...but because it meant he was checking the work thoroughly.  He'd be more worried if he didn't find anything wrong. 

He checked Catherine's work and she checked his; he had never had anything back from her but there was one file in his ‘to be returned' box that had her name on it.  Now he attributed his own due diligence to years of trying to please Grissom and Gil was right...it had made him a better CSI.

Catherine came in towards the end of his shift and saw the amount of work he'd done.

"You are a star, Nicky. You apply yourself to the work better than anyone in the lab...you know?"

"I was just thinking about the work...and thanking Gil Grissom.  He was always on my case but it's made me thorough."

"Greg told me you helped him last night.  I should have seen that..."

"...but I do all your paperwork, Catherine."  Nick said without malice and he laughed.

So did Catherine.  "You got me, Nicky.  Tell me..."  And Nick inhaled and held his breath as he waited.  "...do you think there's anything going on with Sara?"

"What do you mean?"  Nick swallowed as Catherine rose from her seat opposite Nick and closed the office door.

"She is her usual self...most of the time, but I keep catching her...in the locker room, in the restroom and she looks lost...maybe...sad...I can't really pin it down, specifically.  Just not like she used to be...say a year ago."

Nick had not noticed.  He worked with Sara when it was necessary and talked and passed the time of day...but only when he had to.  He wasn't deliberately avoiding her, he didn't want to arouse suspicion, but he was keeping a lower profile that he might do normally.

"I hadn't noticed."  He hadn't but he was going to press Catherine on her views of the matter because he was absolutely sure she would have views.  "What do you think it is?"

"Honestly?  I have no idea."   And Nick waited because he knew she wouldn't stop there and of course he was right.  "But...you know I said I thought that Gil was wrong to marry her...well, I wondered if, in fact, either Gil's realised or she has, that the marriage wasn't made in heaven after all."

Nick tried to look suitably surprised.  "That's a plausible reason."  He decided to add a little extra to the equation.  "I thought after Warrick's funeral when she left him again that it was all over...and then to hear that they were married when she came back here to work.  I mean why did she come back to work and leave him?"  Nick really felt like the Devil's advocate but he was interested in Catherine's take.

"Your guess is as good as mine.   Do you know; I cannot believe that Gil hasn't been back once to see us here at the lab...I mean we were tight...for years, and he's been gone for what...two years?  He must surely have been back to Vegas at least once.  Is he even still in Paris, like she said?  Who knows?"

Nick shrugged but thought, ‘I do'. 

"Keep an eye on her, Nick.  She's working this extra day for you so had no plans to see Gil then this week.  Perhaps I should just ask her?  What do you think?"

"Go for it...but..."

"...I know what you're going to say.  I won't get a straight answer."

Nick smiled and nodded but in truth he felt guilty.  For not telling Catherine what he knew and for Sara who, for whatever reason, was continuing to live a lie.

"And then there's you!"  Catherine stopped Nick's little reverie dead.  "There's something going on with you...but at least it's altogether happier, isn't it?"

He smiled and had to make a decision.  Head her off at the pass...or tell the truth or even a half truth.

"Maybe."  He'd make her work for it though.

"Come on, Nicky, give me a break."

"I'm happy."  He leaned back in his chair and grinned at her.

"Way to state the obvious.  Come on, throw me a bone!"

"I...I'm with someone.  Yes, that's it."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"It's new."

"Nick!  Stop it."  Catherine was becoming exasperated but she was almost giggling at him.

"There's not that much to tell.  It is early days...but it's good, really good."

Catherine smiled.  "I'm pleased for you.  Do I know her?" And Catherine wasn't a CSI for nothing, this time she saw it; the momentary flicker that gives the game away, Nick knew it and so did she.

She whispered almost reverently. "It's not a girl is it?"

Nick licked his suddenly dry lips and shook his head.  "No.  He isn't a girl, that's for sure."

"I didn't know.  Have you been hiding this for years or is it a recent...errr...discovery?"

"Hiding.  But that might be too strong a word.  Hiding in full view.  It wasn't a big secret it was...it is, private.  But this time, Cat, this is something else."

"I can see that and I'm happy for you, Nick.  I knew there was someone because you look so...so different, I guess.  Happy.  Relaxed.  Since Christmas."

He nodded.  "When the time is right you will meet him, I promise."

"I'll hold you to that.  He must be something special; I have this feeling that you don't go for second best."

"Now that, Ms Willows, is the truth.  Now take your file with you since it needs some more work, I'm afraid, and let me get the hell out of Dodge."  She frowned at the file he'd given her and then looked up at him.

"I can't believe you gave me a file back.  Have a good break, see you Saturday...oh, no, you won't, I'm off."

"I will.  Take care, Catherine.  Later."  She was back to smiling as she left his office.

Ten minutes later Nick was on his way to his truck texting Gil at his walked along.

‘On way home now. Quick shower and change and we can get on the road. Nx'

A moment later Gil texted back.  ‘All ready and waiting at this end. Gxx'

‘Two kisses?  Nxxx'

‘Not to be outdone.  Gxxxx'

‘LOL Noxoxoxoxo Got to drive now. Nx'

Both men were laughing; one in his truck on his way home and one already in that home and waiting.

***

Nick had packed the night before, so all he had to do was shower and change.  Gil had booked the cabin for an extra night...the night before so that they could get into the cabin as soon as they arrived instead of waiting until four in the afternoon.  He'd phoned the lodge when Nick was in bed and told them he couldn't make it until today but to hold the cabin because they would be there.

It would be a little after seven in the morning when they left and if the journey went well, they would be in the cabin in less than three hours.  Nick could sleep on the journey and then they could have an early night for Nick to catch up on his sleep and start the hike at around seven the next morning.

Gil was excited and worried about the hike.  Excited because he would be with Nick and it would be a wonderful new experience and he was much fitter than he was nearly two weeks ago. Worried because although he was fitter he didn't know if he was actually fit enough to make the hike.   Nick was absolutely sure that he would make it to the bottom of the canyon and back up again.

He pointed out two main reasons for his confidence; Gil was much fitter and Nick was an experienced hiker and would pace Gil properly both up and down the trail.  That actually made sense to Gil, but he still had a lingering niggle of doubt.

But one thing Gil was sure of and that was that this was their first date.  Okay, so they'd slept together and made love, but they hadn't been out together, anywhere, except to the outlets and Nick had assured Gil that that didn't count as a date.  So this was a very special occasion and as such they were both buoyed up because first date or not, they both knew it would be a great couple of days together.  A time to consolidate their fledgling relationship.

Gil was lost in thought waiting for Nick when he came bounding down the stairs.  "We got everything?"

"I think so and if we haven't we can get it at the lodge shop.  Ready?"

"As I'll ever be.  The only problem is I don't feel tired, man, so I'm not hopeful about sleeping on the journey."

"As long as you can catch up before tomorrow you'll be okay.  We can go to bed as early as we want."

"To sleep?"

"Of course."  Nick noticed again how vividly blue Gil's eyes were and how they twinkled when he was having fun.  He was hard in his pants from just looking at Gil.  Shit; he had it bad, he thought, and laughed.

"Something's funny?"

"No...just great.  And...I have news."

"Then let's get on the road.  I've put the bags in the truck.  Checked the locks.  We're ready to roll."

A few minutes into their journey and Gil was easing the truck onto the interstate and heading towards the Grand Canyon.  Nick was trying to find some music on which they could both agree.  It was clear it wasn't going to be easy.

"How about we listen to twenty minutes of what you want and then twenty minutes of what I want?"  Nick was aiming for mature reasonableness

"How about we listen to twenty minutes of what I want and then talk for twenty minutes?" Gil was aiming for his own way.

"Huh!  Like that's fair.  I have quite interesting news and I might not tell you..."

"...okay, I give in.  Country for fifteen minutes and rock for twenty-five minutes.  How's that sound?"

"Like cheating."  Nick laughed and then reached over and put a hand on Gil's thigh.  Gil dropped a hand down from the steering wheel; it was a straight road and the traffic was light.

"So what's the news?"

"Country for twenty minutes?"

"If I must."

Nick grinned and found a station but it was on very low anyway so he could speak without shouting and be heard.

"The night before last Greg said he'd guessed I was gay.  Said he'd seen me staring at guys.  I think it was a lucky guess.  I said nothing about you.  Then last night...actually it was this morning just before I left...Catherine asked me about my new girlfriend.  And when I didn't speak straight away, she guessed too...said she knew I'd had someone in my life since Christmas."  Nick laughed again and Gil raised his eyebrows.

"Christmas?  You knew right away?"

"No, I didn't, but...well it was great just having you there and I think I must have been happier because if that...at first anyway."

"So I wasted days and...days...or was it the maid service that actually tipped the balance?"

"Man, you're cruising...the time was right, stop moaning."

Gil smiled across at him.  "Is that all?"

"Not quite.  She has no idea who my new boyfriend is but...and this is the real interesting bit...Catherine is very suspicious of Sara.  She thinks there's something going on and that Sara is hiding something.  In all honesty, I've seen no difference in Sara.  But that doesn't mean much.  I've been trying to keep a low profile since you told me everything.  But Greg also said he was sure he saw her Henderson when she was supposed to be in Paris. 

"I don't understand why she wants to keep it secret.  She knows you're in Vegas and that you could be seen by anyone.  All she really needs to say is it didn't work out and you're getting a divorce.  It's not like it's unusual.  I'm pretty sure that than half of LVPD are divorced."

"Occupational hazard.  Sara is a very private person...very."  Gil added to accentuate the point.  "She sees it as a huge failure on her part.  Even though I accept that I am mostly to blame and I think it would be reasonable for her to blame me publicly, but I don't think she will.  I really don't know if she will tell anyone."

"Ever?"  Nick was concerned about this.

"If she can get away with it.  She knows that even if I am in Vegas I will be going back to Paris so she could be hoping I lie low."

"Catherine seemed quite hurt that you'd never been back to see her...us, at the lab."

"Really?  I'm sorry about that...in some ways Nick I don't know where the time has gone...but as the marriage turned into the disaster zone it became, all I wanted to do was hide away..."

"...what about us, Gil.  Does this mean that we must always keep quiet...end up moving..."

"No, Nicky, it does not.  As soon as I am a free man I will do as I please and remember the Stratosphere?  I don't want anyone to be in any doubt...that we are a couple."

"Okay.  Cool."

***

They arrived at the Bright Angel Lodge before ten.  They hadn't stopped because Nick had fallen asleep and Gil wanted him to have as much sleep as he could so he would last the day and then they could have an early night.  Nick woke as the truck stopped outside the main lobby and Gil went to get the key and directions to their cabin.

It was at the opposite end to the one Gil had on his last visit.  The temperature had dropped several degrees and although it was a bright sunny day, an air frost was forecast for the night and an even colder temperature for the next day.  But it was supposed to remain sunny and dry.  Feeling the cold when he got out of the cab, Gil thought he might buy an extra lightweight fleece for layering just to be sure he would be warm enough.

The different cabin was better and grander than at Gil's last visit; a newer model.  They unpacked and decided to take a look around and visit the cafeteria for Gil's statutory coffee and a browse around the shop before deciding what to do for the rest of the day.  It was going to be an exercise oriented vacation...liberally interspersed with sex.  That was Gil's idea and he was going to share his idea with Nick over coffee.

They sat at a table by the window giving a panoramic view of the canyon at eye level; the sun bouncing brightly off the rocks and belying the coldness of the day.  People scurried here and there with their heads bowed against the cold wind.  Without exception everyone was well wrapped up against the cold obviously heeding the advice of the lodge staff.  Gil had been warned at reception that the weather was deceptive and that he must ensure he was wrapped up whenever he ventured out for even the short walk between cabin and main buildings.

"It's much colder than it was."  Gil's hands were wrapped around his hot coffee mug

"Yeah; I've hiked the trail in these conditions before and to be honest, it's pretty good.  The cold keeps everyone but the properly prepared off the trail...particularly the lower part so it actually makes it easier."  Nick's hands were occupied with a mug of hot chocolate.

"That makes sense."

"It'll be good."

"I‘m keeping my fingers crossed that I can make it all the way..."

"...you will. No sweat."

"Talking of sweating I think I'm going to get an extra fleece from the shop."

"Good idea...I'll check over your stuff first and see what you should have...and you might want to get some long johns, too, to keep your legs warm."

Gil was grinning.  "Long johns?  How sexy are they?"

"Now, Dr Grissom, would you rather be sexy or warm?"  Nick grinned.  "I've bought mine along for the trip."

"Now I have to see them.  Although I think you could make a sack look sexy."

"You think?  Should I get one to see?"  Nick looked coy as he teased Gil and Gil smiled at him.

"You are too sexy, you know that?"  He leaned in and whispered to Nick.

Nick leaned closer and asked.  "Can you be too sexy?"

Gil pulled back and laughed.  "No.  You can't."

"What do you want to do for the rest of our stay?"

"I thought about this on the journey when you were snoring..."  Gil expected Nick to deny that he'd snored but he took it on the chin like a man, although it was more heavy breathing than snoring. "...and I thought we should concentrate on exercise and fresh air...and sex.  In no particular order."

Nick nodded.  "Good plan. 

"I thought so.  So drink up and let's go and check my stuff over for the hike and get that out of the way."

Nick drained his mug and smacked his chocolate lips before taking a napkin and wiping them clean.

They hurried back to their cabin and checked through their stuff.  Nick decided that Gil needed a pair of thermal long panted underwear...long johns...and it would do no harm to buy an extra thin thermal fleece for layering purposes.  He even decided that if they had some good makes then he would get one for himself too.

At the shop they browsed and found the appropriate underwear; in white, black or blue.

"What colour are yours?"  Gil enquired of Nick.

"White."

"Then I'll get the black."

Nick picked up the blue pants.  "Why not blue?  They'd match your eyes."

Gil looked at him as if he'd become deranged. "You want me to buy long johns that match my eyes?"

"Yeah.  Sexy."

Gil looked at Nick over his glasses without realising that he was accentuating the blueness of his eyes.

"Sexy?"  He was incredulous.

Nick grinned. "I can't help it...if the thought of you in..."  He held them up.  "...gives me a hard..."

"...shall we go back to the cabin?  Now?"  Gil swallowed as he stared at Nick, who nodded.

Gil would have gone that moment but Nick insisted on buying the underwear and two fleeces, one navy blue and one scarlet red.  They practically ran back to their cabin and Nick's shaking hand tried to unlock the door as quickly as possible.

They fell through the door and Gil kicked it shut as he reached for Nick who had dropped his parcels and grabbed onto Gil with their mouths crashing together so fiercely their teeth clattered against each other's.

They had a lot of clothing to remove and it was difficult as they stumbled across the room, bumping into unfamiliar furniture while trying to discard their coats and Nick's sweatshirt and Gil's fleece pullover and then trying to get their belts undone to get access to each other's pants.  Gil was groping at Nick through his pants to fondle his hard-on, feeling the length and digging his fingers into the firmness and Nick was kissing, groaning and attempting to get his belt undone even as he was trying to steer them towards the bed.

Gil released his hold in the hard-on to bat Nick's hands out of the way to be able to undo Nick's belt; that accomplished he undid his own belt but even as he did it Nick had unzipped him and was inside his pants and cupping and squeezing his balls and then feeling his erection.  He bucked his hips into Nick's hand and Nick pulled back his hand to push into his boxer's waistband and find the actual flesh...at which point Gil fell back on the bed.  His cock alone was standing proud out of his pants and boxers.

Nick stared down at him for several moments and Gil's eyes were glued to Nick's mouth.  His lips swollen and dark and moist and the tip of his tongue clasped between his gritted teeth and just peeping out...Gil heaved a huge breath in and muttered, ‘Christ', as he reached up and pulled Nick down on top of him by his sweatshirt sleeves.

But Nick leaned up and away from Gil so he could get his own cock out of his pants and briefs.  It took him seconds and then he lay over Gil looking down to guide his own cock to beside Gil's and then he grabbed hold of both of them together and squeezed and pumped them side by side.  Gil put his own hand down and over Nick's, applying more pressure to the hot and solid flesh.

As one they bought their hands to the heads of their cocks and used the leaked fluid on both to provide lubrication.  As they settled into a fast rhythm Nick leaned down onto Gil and they kissed again.  Not quite as furiously but it was hot and wet but Gil pulled away to try and catch his breath...with Nick almost lying on top of him and the pleasure building in his balls and gut he couldn't concentrate on kissing.  He was coming and opened his mouth in a silent shout as Nick whispered, ‘yeah', ‘yeah', ‘yeah,' over and over.  

Gil came first and he screwed his eyes shut as the fluid spurted from him as his ass contracted and his spine turned to jello.  His hand dropped away from their penises and Nick furiously pumped himself and Gil felt the steaming hot semen land on his own deflating cock...and Nick's body shuddered against his own.

Nick was gasping for breath and rolled onto his back beside Gil, holing his right hand up since it was covered in the sticky mess of their sex.

"We haven't been back in the room five minutes and have you seen the mess we've made?"  Gil whispered, his voice hoarse.

Nick didn't speak but Gil felt the bed move as he chuckled. 

"I think I'm worried about your predilection for long johns."

"And I haven't seen you wearing them yet!"  Nick murmured and Gil turned his head to look at him and chuckled a little, then a little more and was then laughing, the bed shaking along with his mirth as Nick grinned, then chuckled and in moments he was laughing with Gil.  

It took them a few minutes to calm down and Gil looked down at himself.  "I think I need to get cleaned up.  Good job I bought extra clothes...I can't wear any of this stuff again."

"Same here.  That was unexpected."

"Not unwelcome, though."

"Definitely not!  I'm hungry."

"Missed your protein shake?"

"I guess I have but there's always later.  Shower?  Food?"

"Sounds like a plan, Nicky."

"You first, I'll have a rest."

Gil smirked at him.  "Taking the opportunity for a little shut eye?"

"I have been at work all night."

"True.  I'm sorry.  I'll go shower."  He leaned over Nick and gave him a quick kiss and pulled back, looked at him and then kissed him again for a little longer.  "I'll go before I'm tempted to just stay here and sleep with you."

Gil took a long shower and took his time drying.  He folded his dirty clothing away and quietly went about finding clean clothes to wear while all the time Nick slept, making those same snoring sounds he'd made in the truck on way to the Lodge.  But his breathing was steady and even and he was fast asleep.  Gil found a book he'd brought along out and sat and read for a little while...letting Nick sleep.

Nick started to stir after about an hour and groggily came around to wakefulness.  "Man you let me sleep...I am starving."  And he yawned and his stomach rumbled, together.

"You needed the rest.  Go shower and we'll go and find some hot food."

"Okay."

Nick was quick.  He really needed to eat so twenty-five minutes later they were walking over to the cafeteria and it was appreciably colder.

"I might have to wear my long johns this afternoon if it gets much colder."  Gil mentioned as they got to the door of the food hall.

Nick stopped and laughed.  "Man, if I wasn't so hungry I'd make you go right back and put ‘em on now!"

It was two very happy men who sat down for lunch.  Diets forgotten they both stoked up their bodies with hot stodgy food.  Nick eased Gil's conscience by his adamant assertion that with weather this cold and their impending hike it was important to provide fuel.  As Gil stuffed a savoury dumpling into his mouth, he nodded his absolute agreement.

***

After they'd eaten they wondered into the shop again to see if there was anything else that they needed to buy for their trek.  Nick had packed the dry food bars they'd need and drink sachets and they would buy fresh sandwiches in the morning when they became available at breakfast.  There was nothing there that they needed so Nick suggested that they should take a good walk to exercise their lunch off.

Gil agreed and they went back to their cabin to prepare.  Gil sat on the side of the bed to out on his walking pants and Nick stopped and looked at him.

"What is it?  You want me to out my long john's on?"  Gil chuckled.

"Not today, you'll need them tomorrow.  No, it's your boxers; do you always wear them to walk in?"

"Why?  Do you want me to go commando?"   He wiggled his eyebrows at Nick.

"Now you've asked...no; it's just that boxer shorts don't support you very well do they?"

"They feel perfectly okay to me...I've always worn them.  Silk in cold weather, cotton in warm."

"Don't your balls ache when you've been on long walks?"

"No.  They support me just fine.  The boxers and my pants hold me steady as I go...we don't all need tight whites, you know."

"How do you...oh, you've been doing my laundry."

"There is that, but you are standing in front of me wearing them."

Nick looked down at himself and laughed.  "Okay.  You win.  I was just concerned for the welfare of your scrotum...I have a vested interest now, you know."

"That's true.  So I can get dressed?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

"Thanks."  Gil tried not to be too sarcastic in his reply and Nick grinned at him and changed the subject.

"I think we should just walk on the straight...no hill climbing.  That way we get the exercise but don't wear ourselves out."  Nick was speaking from experience.

"Whatever you say, oh, wise exercise guru."  Gil was taking the piss.

"You should be very nice to me as I will determine the pace, not only of our descent into the canyon, but also the ascent...do you really want a marine route march?"  Nick was playing the ‘I know a lot more than you do' card.

"You wouldn't do that to me, now would you?  I would fall behind and fall by the wayside...my poor balls could end up aching..."  Nick rolled his eyes at the poor little me routine.  "...and don't roll your eyes at me, you should be taking better care of me in my dotage!"

"Dotage?  Man, you're not that old...very nearly, of course, but not quite.  And I was trying to take care of your scrotum only to be ridiculed."  Nick was smiling at Gil now and ruffled his hair.  His snowy white crop was growing and there were hints of his curls here and there.

Gil caught his hand and kissed his knuckles.  "My balls thank you for your concern.  Let's go exercise.  Don't forget your camera."

"Well remembered."  Nick pulled it out of his duffel bag.

They wrapped up well but minus their new fleeces and long johns.  And they started off at a good pace along well maintained paths.  Gil's walking poles steadied and supported him and Nick was impressed.  This was their first walk together...the last times they'd gone out Nick had jogged or run and left Gil behind but now with Gil's much improved walking pace Nick could exercise well enough without jogging.

They'd been walking in silence for a little while when Nick suddenly spoke.

"Tell me about your childhood, Gil.  I know squat."

"That's probably because there's so little to tell.  I'm an only child and so was my mother and my Dad had one sister; so, very small extended family.  I was born and brought up in Santa Monica, Californ-i-a.  Mom went deaf with otosclerosis when I was a boy and it was a quiet house.  Dad died of heart disease when I was nine.  Times were tough but we got through.   I worked in Los Angeles before coming to Vegas...that's about it..."

Nick laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"You summed up your whole childhood in one sentence..."

"...I'm sure there was more than one..."

"...you know what I mean.  Come on...throw the dog a bone."

Gil glanced at Nick over his glasses.  "Now what kind of dog would you be?"

"Don't change the subject."

"A black smooth haired retriever."

"Hey...I had one...well, the family had one when I was a boy.  Tag.  Yeah, he was called Tag.  He was a gun dog and a pet.  Broke my heart when he died.  They all did.  Hold on...this is about me!  Back to you, come on."

"I had mostly dead pets.  Picked up road kill and stuff from the beach.  Did autopsies...I did try using the kitchen table but had to settle for the yard in the end."

Nick laughed.  "How old when you started that?"

"About eight...before Dad died."

"What did your dad do?"

"He was a teacher.  A botanist.  He loved his work and I think his students loved him.  There was a big turnout for his funeral.  But Mom...well she took it badly and behaved...strangely...for a number of years."

"What do you mean?"

"She pretended he wasn't dead.  Would not speak of him in the past tense.  Bought him birthday and Christmas presents that were, obviously, left unopened.  I was...helpless, I suppose.  Didn't know what to do, so kept my head down and behaved myself, studied hard to make her proud.  She didn't neglect me, per se, but I was very much on the periphery of her life for a couple of years."  Gil stopped talking and seemed deep in thought.

Nick didn't speak but after a few moments stopped Gil in his tracks and Gil looked startled.  Nick ran the gloved fingers of his hand across Gil's cheeks and then bent forward and gave him a chaste kiss on his lips.

Gil smiled at Nick and his eyes glistened.  He told himself it was from the cold.  As one they started walking again.

"It sounds more difficult than it was, looking back.  Children are resilient and she did love me and she always cared for me, it was just that she was distant.  Then she just recovered.  To me as a child it seemed like she was bad one day and completely okay the next...but it must have been a slow healing process for her and I was oblivious..."

"...you were a kid."

"Yes.  And like I said I studied hard.  Always got good grades...helped out at the coroner's office as soon as they'd let me and then they paid me to work weekends and vacations."

"Man, a kid working in the morgue."

"I was fascinated with the process of death and decay; still am.  That's a good sign isn't it?"  He smiled at Nick.

"I guess.  College?"

"UCLA.  Biology and entomology.  Got my PhD in Forensic Science."

"Why not a doctor...of medicine?"

"Guess?"

Nick looked puzzled and frowned as Gil grinned at him.  They walked on in silence for a little while and Gil could almost hear the gears cranking in Nick's head.

"Okay.  I give up."

"People.  I dealt with the dead better than the living.  Still do."

"Man, you're not that bad.  What about Pathology?"

"Still have to go through med school and deal with the live patients first."

"Sound like that guy on TV, House.  But you're not that bad, you do yourself down."

"Believe me, Nick, when I tell you that my social skills now are two, three, five hundred percent better than they used to be."  He laughed.

"Okay.  You worked with that guy who came to Vegas as a private forensic examiner, didn't you...can't remember his name."

"Phillip Gerard.  He sold his integrity, his soul, for big bucks."

"But his protégé eclipsed him." Nick smiled.

"As you have."

Nick laughed and then stopped abruptly.  "No way!  Man!"

"Yes, way.   I said before and I'll say it again; you're the complete all-rounder, Nick.  You have everything, not just pockets of intelligence.  It doesn't help the victims if I can quote Shakespeare does it?  But to sit with them and help them through their pain...now that is a real skill."  He smiled and then stopped still and whispered, urgently.  "Look!"  Gil pointed over to their right and there, riding the thermals in the canyon but at their eye level was a bald eagle.  Not a hundred yards away.

They stood transfixed. It wasn't as though they hadn't seen one before but that it was so close and so majestic.  Nick didn't reach for his camera because he didn't want to miss the chance of just watching it sway this way and that so effortlessly and so lazily with hardly any movement of its wings.  Suddenly it swooped down to attack; the laziness replaced by speed and purpose and in the blink of an eye it was gone.  But its appearance seemed to exhilarate both of them.

Gil spoke first.  "What a magnificent bird.  I've seen your drawings and paintings of birds at your house, but there's nothing recent.  Why did you stop?"

Nick thought for a moment.  "Shit.  So much shit happened.  I just lost the patience...the will to do it I suppose.  But I'm going to get back into the swing...now, you know, we...God.  I'm rambling."

Gil smiled.  "I understand.  Completely."  Gil put a hand on Nick's shoulder.  "It seems to me that we've both rediscovered a purpose in life.  Am I right?"

"Yeah.  You are."

***

By the time they got back to their cabin the temperature had really dropped and Gil saw the wisdom of Nick suggesting the extra underwear for their hike the following day.   A flyer had been slipped under their door advertising a talk about birds indigenous to the canyon, at seven o'clock, for an hour.  They decided to go and would eat beforehand since the walk had done more than just help them digest their lunch...it had made them ravenous for dinner.

They ate another hearty meal...both had lasagne and salad with garlic bread and a beer each and then went off to the presentation.  There were some great photographs and interesting information and while Gil did learn a thing or two, it was all familiar to Nick.  He did chat to the guy about the camera work though...finding out which lens worked the best and decided that with the next overtime money he had he would treat himself to some new gear.

They made a quick walk back to their cabin in the very cold evening.  Since the sun had gone down the true nature of the winter weather had been revealed.  It was a biting cold wind, but a gloriously clear night.

"I can never quite get my head around the fact that we're a couple of hours from Vegas and yet the cold there is so mild in comparison to this."  Nick's shoulders were hunched against the cold.

"I know what you mean.  It did snow a couple of years back, do you remember?"

"I fucking do...I was working a gang shooting.  Got wet and cold."

"I think I was in the office keeping myself warm and dry."

"You were...I remember.  I don't mind wet or cold if I'm dressed for it...but I wasn't that night and was as miserable as sin."

"I refuse to believe you've ever been as miserable as sin."

Nick laughed.  "Man, you wouldn't believe it."  They'd reached their cabin and stepping into the warmth was a great feeling but within moments Nick was yawning.

"That's the warmth and your tiredness catching up, you've only had a couple of hours sleep.  Come on let's get ready for bed.  I can read a bit while you get your head down."

"Read?  I thought we might have a repeat performance of this morning."

Even looking at Nick with his innocent boyish handsomeness made Gil's cock twitch in his pants, cold or no cold. "I was thinking of your physical welfare but I see that your sexual welfare comes first."

"You got that right.  Come on.  I want to get all my stuff ready for the morning so I can just get in it...without having to sort through stuff...shall I put yours out too?"

"Yes.  And don't forget the long john's will you?"

"As if...pity you can't wear them now..."

"I think you're joking with me..."

"...I'm not!"  But Nick laughed and so did Gil.

Gil got ready for bed as Nick arranged their clothing on two chairs in order of them putting it on.  He went into the bathroom as Gil got between the sheets, his cock already bobbing around although the cold bedding momentarily dampened his spirit.

A few minutes later Nick bounded out of the bathroom and jumped into bed.  He wrapped himself around Gil immediately and Gil rolled onto his side facing him. The bedside lamps were still lit and they stared at each other for a few moments.  Then Nick turned back and switched off the lamp by him making it darker in the cabin.

"Don't want to see too much of me then?"  Gil remarked as Nick settled down again.

"No...just more romantic when it's darker.  Why wouldn't I want to see your handsome face?  I love it.  I really love it...you know that?"  Nick was whispering and Gil just knew he was telling the truth.

"I know that.  I know it because it's the same for me.  You know I cannot for the life of me come up with any plausible reason for not making a pass at you when we worked together.  I must have been suffering from some malaise...for ten years or more.  But I do think you were in my subconscious all the time...the way I treated you, I think, was some form of denial on my part.  Treat you bad...you'll keep your distance and I won't be tempted.  Worked a bit too well didn't it?"

"It did.  It never crossed my mind once that you were gay.  I know I did have a few fantasies about you when I first came to the lab...but I soon stopped them."

Gi groaned.  "What a complete moron.  I cannot believe I was so stupid.  No strike that; I believe it, I married...her, for fuck's sake."

"You might not be married.  You don't know yet."

"I can but hope.  But Nick, even it turns out I am it doesn't change anything, you know that?"

"I know.  Jesus, this feels so right."  He moved in and kissed Gil.

Their bodies were close and their legs became entwined and their cocks rubbed each other's bellies.  One arm of each of them was trapped around their respective shoulders but with their free hands they stroked and rubbed and tickled each other's bodies.  All the time kissing and pushing their tongues in the other's mouths. They were hot and heavy and Gil was almost unaware of what he was doing he was just revelling in the closeness and the sexual thrill of Nick as they made love.

Gil's arm was around Nick and he was stroking his back and feeling his muscles that were so firm beneath the soft skin and his hand slipped, of its own accord, onto an ass cheek and he grabbed and kneaded at the skin and then it happened...

In less than a second.

Gil's right hand was on the hard buttock and his fingers almost naturally fell into the cleft of Nick's ass and then the middle finger of Gil's hand just prodded at Nick's opening and Nick's body, one moment so relaxed and warm in Gil's arms was suddenly rigid.

For a split second Gil had no idea what had happened but almost in that same second he knew and he pulled back, a look of horror on his face to mirror the same look on Nick's face.

It was more shock.  And Nick was as surprised as Gil at his reaction.

"I'm so sorry...Nick...sorry."  Gil immediately began a damage limitation exercise.  "It was an accident; I just didn't think.  I wasn't going to do anything, I promise I wasn't.  Nick?  Nick?"  Gil seemed to realise, suddenly, that Nick was still lying stock still and rigid in his arms.

***

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