Previous part of Lost and Found

***

They lazed about for the rest of the day and the next morning recreated the first part of their hike along the Blue Angle trail but stopped and admired and took photographs...even stopping a passing hiker to take their picture.  The two men grinning like crazy at the camera, so coddled in clothing it was difficult to distinguish their features and build.

Saturday came around all too quickly and after a leisurely breakfast they packed and left the lodge around eleven.  Gil drove the truck and Nick road shotgun.  He hoped he might doze a little on the journey but didn't so would need to try and sleep a couple of hours before his shift that night.  Gil said he had an idea how he might make Nick tired enough to sleep.  Nick feigned complete ignorance of what Gil might do...so well that Gil believed he really didn't guess it was with sex.   Though both men were bluffing and knew it.

When they'd unpacked and Gil had made them a drink they drifted off to bed...kissing and touching as they made their way upstairs.  Gil sucked Nick expertly and quickly and he was very drowsy...Gil turned Nick away from him and spooned behind him and told him he was going to rub himself off against his ass and perineum...asking if would Nick be okay with that.  Nick was so relaxed and boneless he was quite willing to try and happily pushed his ass at Gil.

Gil slipped his hard-on between Nick's tight and toned ass cheeks and enjoyed the sensation as he pushed himself against the back of Nick's balls.  Nick rocked back and forth, gently, and with the excitement of fellating Nick and his taste still in Gil's mouth and the friction of Nick's ass and Gil was quickly reaching a point when he needed to pump harder; he increased the friction and Nick responded by tightening his ass muscles around Gil's cock.  Gil held Nick around his middle and was moaning and groaning at his approaching orgasm into the back of Nick's neck, kissing and nipping at the skin until he could do no more but grit his teeth and screw his eyes up as the exquisite agony overcame him.  He quietly called out Nick's name over and over as his release coated Nick's ass and the back of his balls with his fluid.

He lay gasping and catching his breath and tried to pull away from Nick, intending to get a wash cloth to clean up Nick, but he was held fast by Nick.

"Stay.  Love you."  His voice was drowsy and sated and Gil could hear the smile in his voice and the real love in his words.

"Okay.  Not going anywhere.  I promise you."  Gil smiled at Nick and the relaxed way he'd let him jerk off against his ass.  Gil thought it was progress.  Very good progress.

They slept until the alarm sounded and Nick woke and turned it off.  He stretched and then stopped.

"Ugh!  I feel sticky...in a very intimate place."  He laughed.

"This man sex can get very messy."  Gil didn't feel too bad at all, so didn't have much sympathy for Nick.

"I'm going to shower."

"Okay.  What do you want to eat?"

"A pasta...they'll be one in the freezer...surprise me."

"Will do.  Sandwiches for work?"

"Tunafish."

"Again?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing.  You'll get to look like a tuna...and they're ugly."

"You calling me ugly?"

"Not yet.  But watch your step."

Nick grinned.  "You know I reckon you're shallow and only after me because I'm so young and handsome."

"You're right, you're...you're a definite asset on my arm.  When you come over to Paris I'll be showing you off..."

"...you will, will you?  I've got a good deal too; distinguished Doctor...a good catch.  Mom's going to be impressed...me getting myself a boyfriend with a profession."  He gave Gil's thigh a hefty slap as he jumped from the bed.

"Ow."  Was all Gil could manage before Nick had disappeared through his bathroom door.

Gil dressed and used the main bathroom to wash his hands and splash his face and then went off to make dinner.

Nick's shift was long and full of non-serious crimes.  He sent the team out to deal with the field work and attacked the inevitable pile of paperwork Catherine had left for him.  Of course, a murder came in just before shift ended but Sara and Greg had it covered and when he checked that they were on top of the work he left to go home and sleep.  He wanted to be fresh and alert for his meeting with Heather that afternoon.

Nick was as nervous as hell as he took the few steps up to Heather's door.  It wasn't the first time he'd knocked on this particular door but it was the first time as guest...a patient, more like.

Gil slung his arm around Nick's shoulders.

"You okay?  There's nothing to be nervous about.  You know Heather and she's a very grounded, sensible woman.  I'm confident that the last few...wrinkles...will be ironed out by her.  You must follow what she says though, no picking and choosing the bits you like and ignoring the more painful aspects."

"Yessir."  Nick was sarcastic at Gil's instructions but then relented.  "You mean like telling Mom don't you?"

"I mean whatever Heather tells you needs doing."

"Yeah.  Okay."

Heather opened the door and smiled at them, she kissed Gil on both cheeks in the continental manner, but offered her hand for Nick to shake.  He took it and gave it a firm shake.  He didn't want her to know he was very nervous.

"Don't be nervous, Mr Stokes.  I don't bite." She smiled at him.

"I'm trying not to be...but you know..."

"Come in and let's take tea."

She led the men through her house to a conservatory at the rear overlooking immaculately tended gardens.  She made them sit in comfortable chairs; armchairs but made of cane with full stuffed cushions.  They sank into the seats and Nick thought if he wasn't so wired he'd have fallen asleep in moments.  He hadn't slept well; the anticipation of this meeting weighing on his mind.

"I will get the tea and sandwiches."

When she'd gone Nick grimaced at Gil.  "Can I change my mind?"  He was only half joking.

"It's up to you.  If you don't want to do this we can leave."

"No, I'm okay...really.  Just nervous like you said...and Lady Heather."  He added with some chagrin that she'd not even blinked at him and yet knew he was as nervous as hell.

"If I can call you Nick, you should call me Heather.  I haven't been the Lady for many years."

Nick blushed at being caught out.  "Sorry.  Heather, then, and please call me Nick."

"I will listen to your story and decide if I can help and we can conduct any further sessions, if you chose to take them, here at my house.  In the meantime...tea."

Heather officiated at the tea table and had an array of tiny sandwiches. Gil nibbled at the sandwiches quite delicately and Nick  followed suit though he would have been happier stuffing the entire sandwich into his mouth in one go...and still have plenty of room for another.   They made small talk and Gil told her the latest information about Sara and his marriage or non-marriage.  She listened but offered no advice or chastisement, even as Gil cursed himself for his stupidity.

"Gilbert, you tried, but failed.  There is no shame in that."

"No, I suppose not.  But not realising the implications of the ceremony was totally out of character for me, especially when I've made my living as a meticulous collector of evidence.

"Consider this; if the marriage is, in fact, not a marriage and you had realised that at the time then would have ensured that you were legally married?"

Gil did consider her statement.  "I think I would have questioned it...and if I had I would really be married and at the moment there's still a chance I'm not.  I had not considered that.  Thank you, Heather, yet again for your insight."

"You're welcome.  Now Nick do you feel comfortable enough to talk?"

"Yeah, I am.  Yes."  He smiled at Gil; realised that he did indeed feel comfortable; without him noticing, Heather had made him relax.

"I'll clear the table."

"Here, let me help."  Nick sprang to his feet to help like his Mom had always taught him to do.

"No.  Please sit down."  And he promptly sat down again as if his Mom had told him to do so.  Gil laughed as Nick threw him a filthy look.

They sat there silently as they waited for Heather and by the time she'd arrived back in the room, Nick had recovered.

Heather put a tumbler of iced water together with three glasses on the table, and then poured one for herself.

"Help yourself, gentlemen, if you need water."

Gil stood and poured a glass of water.  "You want one, Nicky?"

"No, I'm okay.  Thanks."  He shot Gil an annoyed look and Gil wondered why and frowned slightly. 

The three of them sat still for a moment or two.

"Tell me what happened, Nick.  Don't tell me what you think I want to here, but the simple facts of the matter.  You deal in facts so you know what I mean."

"Yes, Ma'am."  Nick took a few deep breaths and looked across at Gil, smiled and started...

Several times Gil thought he would just have to get up and leave the conservatory but he stayed still and listened as Nick related absolutely everything about that fateful night.  Heather was right, Nick did deal in facts and he laid them all bare.  But as he neared the end of his hellish story Gil was sure Nick seemed lighter somehow.  The old adage about a problem shared...

As Nick finished he had a question to ask.  "Will you tell me I have to tell Mom and Dad?"

"Thank you, Nick.  That was a very comprehensive account and you have been carrying all that around for over thirty years.  You've told Gilbert and now you've told me...do you feel better?"

He smiled.  "I do.  Yes.  I felt better just telling Gil."

"Talking helps.  I have been telling Gilbert about the concept for years.  He has only recently grasped the importance.  Your parents?  What do you think?"

"I think you'll want me to tell them."

"No.  Nick.  I will not force you to do anything you do not want to do but I will tell you the importance of being able to do so.  The decision is yours and yours alone.  If you do decide to tell them then I will be able to suggest coping mechanisms for you and for your parents."

"Right.  Okay.  What next?"  He seemed eager to go on now he'd started.

Heather laughed.  "I have to ask the perennial question.  How do you feel about it now?"

Nick shuffled in his seat and looked at Gil and then at Heather, as if for inspiration.  He stared at the ceiling and then cleared his throat.

"I really don't know.  To be honest is you'd asked me that last week I'd have said I was angry at her and annoyed...really annoyed at myself for letting her influence my life to the degree that she has...but now..."  He scratched at his non-existent beard.  "Now, it seems as if  I've been stupid for letting her do that to me.  She's nothing, is she?  I've made a good life for myself...she got pregnant and was hounded out of town.  I know that I have allowed myself to be influenced by her criminal actions...but I think it's over."  He looked at the rather surprised faces of Gil and Heather.  "Honestly."  He added with a grin.

Heather smiled.  "I think just talking about it and finally letting go has obviously released you from her grip.  The only aspect that I think you need help with is that of your parents.  Nick, it was their responsibility to care for you and they failed.  It wasn't their fault but you have protected them from the hurt that you have borne both as a child and as an adult.  They should know that their son was hurt.  I would advise you to tell them. They should share your burden, now, as they would have done then.  It will bring you peace, finally, because from what you have said today that is now the area to cause you most concern and it will continue to do so until it is resolved."

"I see.  Yeah, I do.  But you mentioned coping mechanisms for me and for them."

"The most straightforward way for them would be to attend a therapy session together with you and for it to be bought into the open in a...a controlled environment."

"Do you think I need to come and see you again?"

"I would like you to come back and talk about it more...and for me to stop and question you about differing aspects.  If you do not want to do that then that is fine.  But you are facing up to the reality of it all, most admirably."

"If...if I can get Mom and Dad to come to Vegas...would you...would you be the therapist?"

"If that is what you want.  Yes."

"I will talk about this some more, because this has helped.  Can I come back when Gil's gone back to Paris...because our time together is precious.  And I've broken the ice...it's good of you to do this for me."

"Gilbert, Gil, is a dear friend and now that he has found his way, rather belatedly..."  She smiled at Gil. "...to the right partner then I consider you a friend too."

"Thank you.  I appreciate that.  You don't have to lay on tea for me though."

"More of a coffee and burger man?"

"No...well, coffee, but not burgers."  He laughed as she smiled at him.   He was amazed at how comfortable he did feel.

They talked a while longer; some inconsequential small talk and then Heather showed them to the door.  This time she kissed both men on their cheeks.  For some reason it made Nick feel very comforted and as if he was...he tried to think of what it was and then he realised when he was a kid and was invited to be part of  circle of friends...he was in with the in crowd.  Then he remembered something.

"Heather, I must pay you for your services..."  Heather and Gil laughed out loud and he was momentarily at a loss...no longer in the in crowd.  Then he realised.  "For my therapy sessions."

"I will not hear of it, Nick.  I do not charge for helping friends."

He smiled at her and then stepped forward and hugged her.  She froze for a second and for a moment he thought he'd overstepped the mark but then she relaxed into his arms and hugged back. 

Nick whispered into her hair.  "Thank you for being my friend."  

***

As Nick opened his front door Gil came out of the kitchen wiping his hands on a cloth.  "Morning sweetheart.  How was work?"

"Fucking awful.  Two girls, six and eight abused.  Physically and sexually...by both parents."

"Shit.  You could have done without that.  Anyone could.  Did you deal?"

"Catherine and Greg.  He was really shaken up...he's not had many abuse cases.  He found that boy in a trash can once...remember that?"

"Yes.  It's hard on anyone.  But Catherine's good...she manages to compartmentalise the horrors."

"Something else happened.  Just as I was leaving work."

"What?"  Gil could tell that Nick was tense about it, whatever it was.

"Sara told me she's getting a divorce...from you."

"Really?"

"Does she know do you think?"

"I have no idea.  Does it matter?  She certainly knows I'm gay...does she know you are?"

"Don't know.  It's not a secret, exactly, but then neither is it common knowledge.  Ray, Catherine and Greg know.  I don't know.  Why did she choose to tell me?  She specifically said she was telling no one else."

"You're her supervisor."

"Only the Assistant.  Catherine is the main man.  Ecklie even."

"But she loathes Ecklie and is probably more comfortable with you than Catherine."

"Yeah.  All plausible explanations.  Even if she does know it doesn't change anything does it?"

"Not a thing.  But are you going to tell her?"

"I thought about that coming home.  I think I will when Guyana has been sorted.  Either way it will be over for her."

"Good plan.  I have some news of my own."

"Yesss..."  Nick was suspicious for some reason.

"It's not bad.  It's Mom.  She texted me and asked me if I thought I should visit with her sometime soon."

"Where does she live?"

"Here.  In Vegas."

"You're joking me?  You mother lives here and you haven't been in touch?  Why didn't you go and stay with her?"

Gil was surprised and sounded hurt.  "Didn't you want me to stay here with you?"

"Yes, of course I did...but why didn't you go to your Mom's?"

"Because I don't.  I haven't lived with her since I left home for college...it never crossed my mind to go...it's the way we are.  I left the nest.  I don't go back."

"So you're not close?"

"We are.  Well, maybe not in the same way you are with your family.  It's just the way we are."

"It's odd, is all.  I suppose I'm really happy you didn't go and stay with her otherwise we..."

"...I know.  I'm sorry I didn't mention it...it's just that it's the way we've lived...as I said, for many years."

"So what did she want?"

"Well first off to know where I am...and then when I said Las Vegas she said I must go and visit with her...and I told her I had someone I'd like her to meet.  She said she hoped it wasn't Sara again.  No, it's a man this time, I texted back and she said I'd better bring you to meet her so she could see if I had chosen any better this time."

Nick laughed.  "Come and hug me will you, man, you give me some surprises."

"I do?"  Gil hugged him.  "How about we go to bed early?"

"I was thinking the same thing myself.  What if I penetrate you again?  Could I?  Please?"

"It would be my pleasure."  Gil smirked.

"I'm going to ask Heather about me...that's one of my questions...see if she has any coping measures for that."

"Oh, I'm sure she will."

"Yeah, I thought so."

The next evening before he went to work, Nick was taken to meet Gil's mother.  Betty Grissom.  Nick was still bemused by the fact that she lived in Vegas.  Each to their own, he thought, but it was weird. 

He'd chatted to his own mother just before they'd set out...Dan's heart attack was mild and instead of bypass surgery they were going to insert stents to see if they would do the trick.  His Mom had said that Dan was very depressed and maudlin; Nick could tell from his Mom's tone that she was not impressed.  Stokes' didn't do depressed and maudlin...they bit the bullet.  Nick knew that that was why he'd behaved as he had done...but it had still come back and bit him on the ass...and it would do the same for his Mom and Dad.  He'd made his mind up about involving them and he felt much easier.  In himself he felt such calmness and release; and of course he cursed himself for not doing it sooner.

"Nick?  Nick?"

"Sorry.  Lost in thought."

"I could see.  You okay?  About Mom?  We're here."

"Sorry.  Really lost in thought!"  He chuckled.  "I was thinking about Dan and Mom and Dad.  I am definitely going to tell them."

"Good decision."

"And I'm looking forward to meeting your Mom.  Come on let's see how it goes.  You will apologise about me not signing won't you...but I will take lessons.  It's only right and proper."

"Tell her...she'll like that.  She's a fiendish lip reader.  Whatever you do don't say anything to me that you don't want her to hear...because she will."

"Thanks for the warning."

Betty Grissom was Gil Grissom's Mom.  The same blue eyes, the curly hair, not even as white as Gil's, and the same shaped face.  To Nick's surprise they immediately bonded as he would with his Mom and family...he'd kind of expected them to be distant or for the meeting to be awkward.  People were odd...no, he thought...maybe it was just the Grissoms.  He'd keep that little observation to himself.

Betty was not in the least fazed by Gil's marriage to a woman and now relationship with a man.  Nor was she in the least diplomatic about Sara.  She didn't like her and never had and never would.  That was final.  Gil squirmed in his seat as she spoke to Nick and Nick would remember to tease him about that later.  And she actually talked to Nick and Gil hadn't warned him so he was surprised; her voice was very expressive considering her total deafness and when she noticed Nick's surprise she told him it was because she could remember speaking, although she didn't speak much at all now because she worked, almost exclusively, with fellow deaf students and staff.

Betty had made sandwiches...and Nick was thankful that they were proper sandwiches...filled to the brim with cheese and cold cuts and salad with sides of pickle.  They all had a beer and chatted like long lost friends.  All too soon Nick had to make apologies to leave as he had to go to work; she wrapped two sandwiches up for him to take to work.

"Save me slaving in the kitchen."  Gil remarked.

"Ha!  You never did anything you did not want to do."  Betty admonished him and he actually flushed slightly. 

"Love you too, Mom."  He spoke and signed and she laughed.

"He did not sign, 'love you too, Mom', he said, 'do not put him off'!"

Gil groaned and Nick laughed.  "I'm not put off...but thank you for the ammunition, Betty."

"I must make sure you two don't get to be alone any time soon.  My cover will be blown."

"Too late."  Betty and Nick spoke at the same time and laughed.

On the doorstep, first Gil and then Nick hugged Betty. She looked at Nick and spoke.  "Gilbert called you a boy...you are not.  You are a handsome young man and will make him very happy.  I am pleased you two got together.  Is it a homosexual thing to call men, boys?"  She addressed the last part to Gil.

"Mom!  In comparative terms, he is a boy."

They all laughed again and the men left.

"Okay.  I still cannot believe you didn't go to your Mom when you got into Vegas."  Gil was silent and Nick looked at him as he manoeuvred the truck away from his mother's condo.  "You okay?"

"I didn't go to her because I was embarrassed and depressed about what I'd done.  Mom is a straight talker; she wouldn't have allowed me to wallow in self-pity and I needed to, she was absolutely...incredulous...when I told her I'd married Sara.  She knew all along that I preferred men.  I couldn't have faced her."

Nick didn't speak but put his hand on Gil's thigh and squeezed.  "All in all I'm pretty happy you didn't go to her."

"Me too."  The rest of the journey continued in silence.  But it was comfortable.

When they arrived home they got out of the truck and made their way indoors.  Gil spoke, seriously.  "Nick?  How come I do all the driving?"

***

The days flashed past as Gil prepared to return to Paris.  They didn't speak much about it; Gil didn't want to leave Nick and Nick didn't want him to leave.  But both men were stoical.  Gil finished all his preparatory work and sorted through the clothes he would be taking and stuff he'd be leaving with Nick.  He even checked dates for Nick to visit him in Paris and Nick booked leave in advance to ensure he got it...and Gil booked the flights.

They also agreed that Gil would fly to New York for a long weekend and the flights were booked for that too.  Gil upgraded his cell phone to an iPhone and they decided that they would communicate via texts, e-mails and Skype.  They set up their computers in advance and spent time talking to each other from different rooms in the house.  They even had Skype sex...and were very pleased with the result, although Gil only narrowly missed inseminating his laptop.

They agreed that Gil would leave Nick's house by taxi...as he had arrived...they would say their goodbyes in private as neither man thought they could bear a public display of emotion.

The day before he left Vegas Gil phoned his lawyer.  She'd heard nothing from Guyana.  The PI had left the US but he would have to hire additional help in Guyana and that was what he was doing at that very moment.  She promised Gil that as soon as she heard anything she'd be in touch. 

He was ready to go.  Packed.  Prepared.  Except that he would be leaving Nick and in such a short time Nick had become the centre of his universe.  He chuckled to himself as he thought of the romantic sap he'd become.  But he couldn't help it and he was absolutely certain that Nick felt the same.  How come it had taken him until he was nearly fifty-five years old to discover such love and peace?  He didn't know; but the one thing that made him inordinately happy was that he had found it...and with Nick.  That was all he needed to concentrate on.  Not wasted years...Nick was fond of saying that their time was right.  And basically, Nick was right; it had happened when they were both ready and waiting.  And it was turning out to be perfect.

Gil would leave the house at nine-thirty in the morning.    Nick was working the afternoons...the late shift, so they'd have tonight when he came home from work and the morning.  Gil was preparing a salmon and broccoli tagliatelli with a mild cheese sauce with salad. They'd be going to bed not long afterwards so it had to be a fairly light meal. 

Nick was at work and he was preoccupied with the thought of Gil's departure the next morning.  He even thought he may follow him to the airport just to watch him go...but he knew he was being fanciful...and ridiculous.

He had, as was usual, a pile of paperwork to get through and had some ends to tie up with a couple of his own cases but he captured Catherine in the break room and smiled at her as sweetly as he could.

"Now why do I think you're going to ask me a favour?"

"No idea...you must be an excellent CSI with incredible powers of deduction."

"That's overkill, Nicky."

"I guess.  I want to leave early...'bout an hour, if that's okay?  But after today I can devote as many hours as you want to work until my leave at the end of March."

"Now that's interesting.  Are you about to give a girl a break and divulge secrets?"

"No.  Not today.  Maybe...tomorrow...maybe not."  Nick had become serious.

"It's okay, Nick.  I'm only joking."

"I know.  I know you are...it's just..."  And stupidly he thought he was about to tear up.  He took some deep breaths. "Can't speak about it yet.  Okay?"

"Oh, Nick, it's okay.  Do you want to go now?"

He shook his head.  "I'm okay, honestly.  Maybe I'll go an hour and a half early."

"Okay."  As Nick walked out of the room annoyed with himself for being such a girl, she called after him.  "My door is always open...you know that?  Right?"

He stopped and shook his head again and turned and smiled at her.  "I know, but it's not what you think.  Later."  As he walked back to his office he thought he'd tell her tomorrow....everything.  He would be emotionally raw and would need a shoulder...but he hoped like hell it wouldn't be on which to cry.

He left an hour and a half early as he said he would to raised eyebrows from Hodges.  "People to see, places to go."  He said as he walked past him tapping the side of his nose.  Hodges flounced off.  Nick thought that Wendy had probably made good her escape just in time.  But then he missed her, she was a good tech and a nice person...in truth she'd have probably made Hodges into a darn sight better man. 

Ray was coming in as Nick was going out.  "I'm off early tonight, Ray.  Anything I should know before I go?"

"You should know that burglars are, for the most part, stupid.  Guy's got convictions for burglary and leaves his prints at the crime scene."

"Maybe stupid, more probably drugged up to the eyeballs and thinking he was invisible."

"I must try thinking myself invisible.  It would be a definite advantage."

"Yeah.  Tried it as a boy; is it still working?"  Nick laughed.

"Who said that?  Am I suffering from auditory hallucinations?"

"See you, Ray."  Nick was still chuckling as he got to his truck and realised that although he'd meant to call Gil, he'd been busy trying to get as much work done as possible and had forgotten.  He'd surprise him.  He'd like that.

Nick sang along with his radio as he drove home and then wondered why he was singing when Gil would be leaving in just over twelve hours.  But then he thought he wasn't leaving, leaving...he was just going away for four months and they'd already arranged to see each other at least twice.  Nick had thought he might surprise Gil with an extra visit to Paris.  It was a long way, but what the hell...Gil was worth every air mile.

When Nick walked into the house it was quiet.  He didn't call out but walked into the kitchen and saw all the preparation Gil had done for their last dinner.  He tried the den but that was empty too and all Gil's work had been tidied away and was ready to go...he looked out of the window into the yard but there was no sign of him there.  He thought for a moment and then smiled.  He ran up his stairs and stopped by his bedroom door.  The shower was running.  As quickly as he could he got undressed...his shoes being particularly difficult with their laces, but he managed, and then gently pushed the door open.

Gil's back was towards him and he could see his magnificence ass.  The ass he now penetrated regularly.  He smiled at the thought that if he was able to work through his shit with Heather he would let Gil penetrate him when he visited Paris.  That was his plan.

After moving quietly he suddenly snatched the cubicle door open and Gil jumped and grabbed his genitals in one smooth move.

"Are you trying to kill me before I go back to Paris?"  He chastised Nick but leaned forward for a wet kiss.

"A false alarm would keep you here a bit longer.  I liked how you automatically protected the family jewels."

"I have a good reason to keep them safe.  Here...wash my back and do something useful."  He handed the cloth soaked in shower gel to Nick."  Nick soaped his back and moved both arms up and thoroughly cleaned his armpits and then dipped down and scrubbed at his ass and then he rinsed all the soap off...ending up with a slap to said ass.

Gil turned around and pulled Nick into a hug. "I'm going to miss our showers."

"Don't...don't start that or I'll be a mess...you know me."

"I know you.  I love you.  And the water's going cold."

"You get out and I'll just have a quick wash down."  And still he slapped the ass as Gil got out.  He smirked at himself at his fascination with Gil's ass.  It was just such a smackable ass.  The water was cooling quite quickly so he soaped up and washed down as fast as he could...the water was cold as he finished and he was happy to step out into the warm bathroom.  Gil was no longer there and Nick peered into the bedroom and swallowed hard.

Gil was lying on his back on their bed with the bedclothes pushed down. He legs were open and one leg was folded up but between his legs his hard-on was standing proud and his was lazily rubbing and twisting at it and even in the subdued light Nick could see the glistening head...already wet.

"Don't stand there watching...get over here and join in."

Nick's voice has temporarily disappeared so he nodded and then grasped his own hard-on with his damp hand.

"I've only prepared pasta for dinner.  So I figured we could have sex now as an aperitif...and later...as a dessert.  A plan?"

"The best."  Nick was still somewhat damp but he couldn't wait any longer, throwing himself on the bed beside Gil and taking his mouth in a kiss and then his neck and then his nipples working his way down to cock.  He swirled his tongue around and tasted his lover, then moved below and licked his balls and the perineum and then his ass.  All the time running his hands over Gil's body.

Gil pulled Nick up and kissed him again and rolled him over onto his back to mimic all of Nick's moves.  But Nick was ticklish and Gil wasn't so Gil enjoyed it so much more being able to tease Nick as he squirmed and tried to avoid being tickled.  But Gil was relentless and Nick was soon moaning in both annoyance and pleasure.

Gil thought it was time and kneeled over Nick's cock and sucked him as he clasped his balls.  Nick was still moaning but he'd stopped squirming in an instant.

As Gil sucked and licked at the cock with his mouth he was playing with his balls with his fingers and, as he regularly did since Blue Angel Lodge, he rubbed his fingers against Nick's anus.  It was his way of trying to desensitise Nick in preparation for penetration.  He had no idea if Nick would be ever able to have Gil penetrate him and if that was the case Gil was still okay about it...but he knew that Nick would be trying to work through his issues with Heather.

Even as he thought his thoughts he was sucking faster and tighter and he knew Nick was on the edge so he pushed all the way down and deep throated Nick and in an instant Nick's hips were bucking up and he was coming down his throat.

As Nick was still regaining his breath from his orgasm Gil moved up his body and lay on him...his own leaking cock trapped between their bellies.  As he kissed Nick he thrust against him and Nick's hand fastened onto his ass cheeks pulling them apart and slipping his fingers into the crack and gently pressing his thumbs against the hole.  Gil was pressing and thrusting harder onto his belly and Nick was meeting his thrusts with his body and as Gil came...so did he, again...just a little.

Gil fell to the side and was panting; his hand made contact with the warm sticky fluid on his belly and he groaned.

"What's wrong?"

"I hope the water's heated up..."

***

It was only just warm enough to rinse their bodies and Gil whined.  He had a particular aversion to lukewarm showers.

"Quite whining.  I'm hungry."

"Is there any time, at all, my beloved, when you're not hungry?"

Nick pretended to think about it.  "When I'm asleep.  And when we have sex...although I'm hungry for you.  Does that count?"  He growled his answer at Gil who laughed.

"Fair enough.  I'll go put on dinner...and before you say it...I know it won't suit me."  He rolled his eyes at Nick's grin.

Just twenty-five minutes later they were sitting at the kitchen table about to eat their meal.  Nick looked down at it and then at Gil.  "I'm going to miss your cooking.  No, scratch that...I'm going to miss...everything."

"Yes.  It's hard isn't it?  But some couples have to bear so much more...the military.  We should be grateful it's only four months and we're going to see each other twice...at least, and we can use our cells and Skype."

"You're right.  But it doesn't make it any easier."

"No.  Eat up.  I slaved over this meal."

Nick took a bite.  "It's good, man."  They continued to eat in silence...the elephant in the room...their impending separation.

Gil ate about half of his meal and then pushed his plate away.  Nick chuckled.  "I'm forcing this down but if you're giving up then so am I."

"I think I'm suffering from some kind of separation anxiety.  I've never felt it before but the thought of being apart from you is making me...I don't know, nervous, jittery."

"You and me both.  But it's going to be okay, I know it."

"Yes, it is, isn't it?  As soon as I get to Paris I'm going to start looking for work in the States.  I can keep going writing my articles and even do some on-line consultancy work..."

"...what about the kind of work Philip Gerard does?  Working with defence attorneys?"

"That seems a little too like going over to the dark side.  But, at the same time there must be mistakes made in labs around the country.  I think he was prepared to compromise for big bucks and I'm not about to do that."

"But if you do the work properly it would benefit all sides.  Expose incompetency, help prove guilt or innocence...if it did expose guilt it would benefit plea bargaining."

"True.  I could put some feelers out...but not in Vegas.  I would not lock horns with my old colleagues."

"Some could probably do with it."

"Hey, Nick, we have better things to talk about than my future work prospects."

"Yeah."

They were both silent for some long moments and then started laughing.  "You first."  Nick said, laughing some more.

"How are you going to manage all the cooking and housework without me?"

"Get a maid service."

"You're joking?"

"Yeah."

"I thought you were serious."

"Gil Grissom...I've kept house and cooked since I arrived in Vegas...just because you've been helping out doesn't mean I'm incapable."

"Helping out?  Nick, I have worked my fingers to the bone...got contact dermatitis from the bleach, back ache from the ironing, burns from the cooking...housemaid's knee from scrubbing the floors..."

"...a sore ass from all the fucking?"

"That too."  They laughed and then as one stopped.  Gil put his hand over Nick's as it lay relaxed on the table.  "At the risk of overstating...you are the very best thing that's ever happened to me in my life."

"I think I can cope with the overstating...you know what really messes with my head?"

"What's that?" Gil smiled.

"The speed of it all.  The absolute knowledge that.  This.  Is.  It."

"In some ways it hasn't been that quick...I've known you for so long...we've known each other.  We've been able to cut corners and go for broke..."

"...a lot of metaphors there."

"They apply.  Come on let's clear up and..."

"...go back to bed?"

"I want to...but...if we go to bed we'll make love and then fall asleep and then it'll be morning..."

"Yeah.  Maybe we can stay awake a bit."

"Yeah.  Maybe."  Gil laughed.  "I'm too old...and I have noticed that you tend to sleep the moment you've come."

"No!  I wait maybe a minute or two."

They chuckled and set about tidying.  Nick locked up and looked around his place.  Already Gil's things had been tidied away.

"Where are your books and magazines that were on the coffee table?"

"I put them in the spare bedroom, out of the way."

"I want them back.  I want to see your presence."

It was at that moment that tears welled up in his eyes.  Christ, he thought, Nick's the one who weeps, not me.  As a quick get-out he spoke.  "I'll go get them."  He virtually ran upstairs and used some toilet paper to blow his nose.  He didn't want tears to mar their night together.  He brought the pile of magazines and books down and put them back on the table.

"Better?"

"Good.  Gil...can we go for a walk?  Just a short one; get some fresh air?"

"That's a good idea...it's a lovely evening...the spring weather will be here soon."

"Yeah.  Springtime in Paris..."

"It'll be great, Nicky.  Romantic."

"Will we actually go out...or spend all our time in bed?"

"Well when I can't get it up any longer we could do a bit of sightseeing."

They'd put on their jackets and shoes and were ready to go...they stepped outside and it was much warmer than it had been. They walked quite briskly around the block without talking since they were lost in their own thoughts.

After about fifteen minutes Nick stopped still and a few paces later Gil stopped and looked back at him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing.  Nothing at all.  It's just that I would like to have some...I don't know...token of our love.  Something tangible."

"More than magazines and books."

"Yeah."

"I think it's too late to shop even for the city that never sleeps.  Maybe Walgreen's is still open."  Gil chuckled.

"How about we swap watches?  I could wear yours and you could wear mine...not my work one, I have an Omega...my twenty-first birthday present from the folks."

"I have a Rolex.  I gifted myself years ago after a win at the tables...I think it's an excellent idea."

"Okay."

"No...there is a problem.  It's in the safe at my house."

"Rules that out then...can't I just have the watch you wear?"

"Of course."  But Gil already had a plan.

They spent forty minutes walking and then returned home and went to bed.

They made love slowly and lovingly and Gil gave Nick his first hickey, over his clavicle.  Not to be out-done Nick reciprocated.  When they were sated and relaxed they cuddled and Nick fell straight to sleep as Gil had predicted and hoped.  He waited a few minutes and then pulled himself away from Nick.  Nick mumbled and tried to turn into him.  Gil whispered to him.  "It's okay; just going to the bathroom."   Nick sighed dramatically but still slept soundly.

Gil took his clothes and dressed downstairs, grateful that they'd both swallowed and there was no mess...though he was still pretty certain he reeked of sex.  He took the truck keys and was just about to leave when he thought he'd better leave a note in the remote chance that Nick did wake up.

'Nick.  Just had an errand to run. Don't worry I'll be back soon.  I love you.  Gx'

As quietly as he could he reversed the truck and gently accelerated away from Nick's house.  He turned the corner and thought he'd better call Sara...she would be up even though it was after midnight.  There was a chance, of course, that she could still be at work, so he would only call her if her car was on his driveway.  It was.

He found her cell number and pressed call.

"What do you want?"

"Something out of my safe."

"It's after midnight."

"I need it now."

"I can't stop you."

"No.  I'm outside."

She ended the call and as he got out of the truck his front door swung open.  When he reached the door she was nowhere in sight.  He went straight to the den and opened the small safe that was anchored to the floor in the bottom of a cupboard.  There were various papers and his Rolex in the safe so he emptied it and closed and locked it.

As he walked out he glanced around his living room.  They didn't seem to be any changes in the décor or furniture.  When he got to the door he considered calling out his thanks or 'bye'...but thought better of it, it was his fucking house after all.  He left and closed the door behind him. 

He had completed his task in under an hour, he destroyed his note and then crawled back into bed with Nick who turned into him and jolted slightly mumbling that Gil was cold...and then he slept again.  He smiled at Nick and leaned in and kissed his hair.  He would miss him so much.  Despite their depression at their separation they both slept well until the alarm sounded.  

Nick slammed it off and turned over and stretched.  "Did you get up in the night?"

"I did.  I had an errand to run."

"You went out?"  Nick asked suddenly wide awake.

"I retrieved my Rolex for you."

"You saw Sara?"

"No.  I spoke to her on my cell, very briefly...she opened the door but she was out of sight somewhere when I walked in and I didn't set eyes on her.  I got all my stuff out of the safe...birth certificate...will.  I must change that.  I might call my lawyer again before I go; you can be my beneficiary...it wasn't Sara, it was Mom."

"And your fancy Rolex?"

"It's not fancy...it was the cheapest model.  I really don't know why I bought it."

"So you can let me wear it."

"Ah, that was the reason."

"My treat: I'm going to make breakfast.  Lemon pancakes.   Toast and marmalade."

"And coffee?"

"And coffee.  Hey, weigh yourself...let's see how much weight you've lost."

"I need to take a piss, a dump and try to vomit..."

"...you are gross."

"I know."

Nick went downstairs and started breakfast and a few minutes later Gil emerged.  He hadn't showered and wore an old tee shirt and his boxers.  Nick grinned at his comfortable attire.

"So?"

"Fifteen pounds."

"That's great, man!  You don't need to lose much more...maybe ten."

"I was aiming for thirty altogether so another fifteen is what I thought."

"That's good.  Don't overdo it, skinny wouldn't suit you."

"I don't think there's any chance of me ever being skinny.  I love food too much.  But I'm going to keep up my exercise regime in Paris.  Use the stairs not the elevators; my apartment's on the fifth floor and most of my classes are on the third floor...and I intend to use the pool every morning and have a walk every evening.  I've found that not only am I lighter and fitter I also feel better, but..."   Gil stopped to think.

"But what?"

"I might be feeling better because of you...and the exercise is incidental."

Nick grinned; he liked the idea that he was the reason Gil felt better.  He was just about to serve the pancakes when he cell rang.  He looked at the caller.  "Tom."  He answered. "I thought you were going to phone me."  He laughed.  "Yeah, but it's two or three weeks late."  He listened some more.  "I've have lots of gossip but I'm keeping it to myself..."  He laughed some more.  "I might...but I'm about to serve pancakes so I'll call you back later this morning.  Okay.  Ciao."  Gil detected more than a hint of sarcasm in the ciao.

"He wants to know everything, of course, but I forgot he said he was going to phone or I would have phoned him.  I can talk after you've gone..."   And with the realisation that Gil would be leaving his face fell and he slumped down in a chair.

"You must remain positive, sweetheart.  It's not for too long and everything's going to be great.  I know it."  Gil sounded a great deal more confident than he actually felt, but it raised a smiled from Nick.

"Hey, I'm gay, being melodramatic is allowed."

"If you say so.  Come on eat these pancakes before they get cold.  They are the best."

The two men ate the plateful of pancakes that Nick had made and then Gil finished with a slice of wholemeal toast and some ginger marmalade; he'd found it in a deli and was practically addicted although Nick smelled it and decided it was not to his taste.

Nick tidied the kitchen and Gil had another mug of coffee and watched.

"Is everything ready?"

"Yes; clothes are all laid out in the spare bedroom.  Case packed.  Duffel bag packed...I'll take that on the plane.  I'll just leave this tee and boxers and the clothes I was wearing yesterday in the wash bin...you can wash and iron it for me...make a change."  He smiled.  "Oh, and I'm putting my wallet in the bag and not keeping it in my pants pocket...I'll just have a few bucks for any incidental stuff I might need."

"Hey, I forgot about that; did anyone try to use your credit cards?"

"I don't think so, nothing showed up on my statement and they haven't contacted me, so it must have been lost...maybe an opportunist found it and just took the cash...there was about two hundred bucks and a hundred Euros.  It's funny how things happen."

"I'm not complaining.  I would have given someone more money to steal it so that you could end up here, with me.  Do you know who Jim is seeing?"

"I do."

"Come on.  Give it up.  I just want to know, I won't breathe a word."

"I know.  It's Sofia...Sofia Curtis."

Nick's mouth dropped open.  "I thought they loathed one another."

"Oh no, they don't."

"Obviously.  What a lothario.  She's okay.  Now Sara did used to loathe her...she always thought Sofia was after you."

"Really?  I like Sofia...as a friend, nothing more."

"You didn't know about Sara?"

"About Sofia?  No.  Nick, I didn't pay attention to Sara, Sofia...anyone really."

"Heather?"

***

"Heather is a dear friend.  I've never slept with her, though I've often stayed at her house."

"I think there was a pool on you and her..."

"...really?  What did you bet on?"

"On a 'yes, you did'."

"Heather knew I was gay from the moment we met...the same with you I bet.  What happened to the pool?"

"I can't remember...I bet Greg still has it in a drawer somewhere."

Gil chuckled. "I think I'll go and shower.  I ordered the taxi yesterday, for nine-thirty."

"You want me to scrub your back?"

"Of course."

"Come on then."  Nick held out his hand and Gil grasped it while finishing his coffee.  He put the empty mug down and let Nick pull him to his feet and into his arms.

"No depression...I want to see you happy as I leave.  Don't watch me go either...I'm not going to look back."

"You should have written me a list of do's and don'ts."

"It's not too late."  Gil's hands dropped down to Nick's ass and squeezed each cheek.

They hugged and Gil released him and left the kitchen and Nick followed behind, very closely.  In the bathroom Gil threw his tee and boxers in the dirty washing bin and leaned in the shower cubicle to turn on the water...waiting for it warm up before stepping in...but Nick was nudging his from behind.

"Come on...wimp."

"I like my creature comforts and hot water is one of them."  He pressed back against Nick and resisted being pushed but as he pushed he felt Nick's cock swelling against his ass and his own cock, which had been hanging loose, immediately began to fill and his put his hand down and felt himself harden.  He wriggled his ass against Nick and Nick pushed him and this time Gil let himself be pushed into the warming water. 

He turned and pulled Nick to him and kissed him; their cocks immediately pressing against both of their stomachs.  Gil reached for the shower gel and squirted some onto his hand and then took both cocks into his hand and started pumping them as the gel produced both ease of hand movement and bubbles around them.  Nick's hand went down to Gil's balls and he played with them...rolling them around in his hand and tugging at them.  All the time they were kissing, their mouths and tongues wet and it was difficult to breathe and kiss and hold themselves steady...even after their almost daily ritual of shower sex.

They didn't apply much finesse to the process...for one, Gil wanted a hot shower and the heat was finite, so there were time constraints and also they needed to clean up after coming and the water would still need to be hot for Gil...so there was a very tight window of opportunity ...they had discussed all this at some length and had decided that fast was good...slow could be done in the comfort of their bed.

So with Gil's pumping taking on an urgent need both men were nearing their climax and Nick added his hand to Gil's and they tightened the hold and speeded up.  In moments Gil was starting to buck his hips into the hand action and started muttering Nick's name as he started coming...Nick released his own cock to concentrate on squeezing every last drop from Gil...and when Gil could take no more he leaned back on the tiled wall.

"Nicky, come on me...come on..."  He begged Nick, with a broken voice, over the noise of the water cascading over them.

"Yes.  Yeah...yesss..."  And Gil was watching as Nick spurted over Gil's belly...the water washing it away, immediately.  Nick fell forward and put his head on Gil's shoulder.   "Showering won't be the same..."  He muttered.

"We'll still be jerking off to all our memories."  Gil said and Nick looked up and smiled.

"That's true.  But there'll be nothing like the real thing."

"Then we'll look forward to doing it again."

"Yeah...you'd better get washed before you have a conniption at the cold water."

"Me?  Mild mannered, bespectacled Dr Grissom?"  He pronounced it Greesomm...presumably as his students in Paris might do so, thought Nick, and he pushed himself away from Gil and the wall, retrieved the wash cloth and started to clean up Gil and himself.

They made it out before the water cooled significantly.   Nick shaved after Gil had declined saying that today was the first day of growing back his beard.  "But don't worry; I'll shave it off before you arrive."

"You don't have to.  I like your beard."

"Beard burn.  I think your skin is too sensitive."

"You think?"  Nick felt around his now smooth face.  "How do you reckon that?"

"I made a calculated assumption base on the evidence."

Nick pursed his lips. "Guesswork?  Not good Dr Greesomm!"

Gil laughed.  "It's not just the sex I'll miss...it's the fun we have, too."

Nick nodded at Gil's reflection in the mirror and their eyes locked for a few moments.

"I'm going to get dressed."  And Gil walked out of the bathroom.

Nick waited a moment or two and then opened the dirty washing bin and retrieved Gil's tee and boxers.  He folded them carefully...and looked out into the bedroom.  Gil wasn't there...his clothes were in the spare bedroom.  Nick quickly went to the bed and put the two garments under his pillow.  He smiled to himself.  He would keep them there for as long as he could smell Gil...maybe put them into plastic bag when Gil had gone.

When Nick got downstairs Gil was already in the kitchen and starting another coffee pot.

"Here's my watch."

"Mine's on the table."

They looked at each other's watch and admired them and put them on their wrists.

"I have another little present for you...well both of us."

"Oh God, Nick, I have nothing more...I'm a thoughtless bastard."

"No, you're not, don't say that.  These are just...look."  Nick produced four photographs, all in plastic frames.  He gave two to Gil.

"They're...they're great.  Thank you, sweetheart...I would have thought about this in Paris and been annoyed with myself for forgetting."  Gil held two photos.  One of him and Nick at the picnic table at Indian Garden...taken by the Alaskan tourist; smiling at the camera they were leaning towards one another over the picnic table.   The other photo was of Nick, in all his get-up and with his back-pack, turning towards Gil and grinning.  Gil had called to him and taken the picture as he'd turned around.

Nick had the same picture of them together and one of Gil sitting on a bench on the way down.  Smiling and happy.  They both looked really happy.  On Gil's photographs Nick had written, 'For Gil  All my love  Nick xox'

"We look very together don't we?"  Gil smiled at Nick.

"I thought that.  Here write on mine."  Nick took his photographs out of their frames and found a pen.  Gil wrote, on both pictures, 'To Nick Love always Gil xxx'.

"I wish I had more now.  Send me some more pictures and I'll print one off for my desk at work.  I'll keep these on my bedside table."

"Okay."   

The last hour sped past and they didn't do much of anything.  They sat on the couch, holding hands and hardly talking.  Gil's bags stood by the front door.  Their wrists held their respective watches and Gil thought the Rolex suited Nick far more than himself...he really couldn't remember what had made him buy it...it was the only piece of expensive personal stuff he owned, Gil checked his Omega...a very understated expensive looking watch in gold and stainless steel...several times, and at twenty-five minutes past nine he dropped Nick's hand and stood up.

"We must say our goodbyes."

Nick nodded; he couldn't even try to speak and he knew his eyes were tearing up.  He didn't care.  Gil took him in his arms and held him very tightly.

"I love you.  I'll text when I board at McCarron and then from Dallas and I'll call you when I arrive in Paris...without delays it'll be in about sixteen or seventeen hours time with boarding and stop-overs.  Please don't be too upset, Nick...we've got a good thing going and it's not going to end with a little separation."  Just then a horn sounded outside and Nick jumped and looked down and shook his head, his tears streaming down his face.

"I'm sorry...I tried not to fucking cry.  I know this is only temporary...but it's shit."

Gil chuckled and nodded.  He held Nick's chin up and kissed him gently on his mouth.  "I'm going.  Go into the kitchen and stay there until I've gone.  Promise?"

Nick nodded.  "Love you.  Take care.  And don't you dare look at any other men's asses."  He tried a smile.

"I promise I won't...because yours is the very best of all asses.  Thank you for the pictures...I love them.  Bye."

Nick kissed him again and Gil could taste his salty tears but he was holding his own at bay.  He was sad but at the same time almost wildly optimistic about their life ahead once Paris was out of the way.   The taxi honked again.  Gil let his arms fall to his side and then pushed Nick in the direction of the kitchen.  He walked smartly to his bags, opened the front door and waved at the taxi driver, slung his duffel bag over his shoulder and wheeled his suitcase out of the door.  He closed the door and walked to the taxi, loaded his gear and got in and they drove off; he forced himself not to look back or he would have wept.

Back at the house, Nick sat at his kitchen table for what seemed like hours but when he checked his watch...his Rolex, it was only fifteen minutes.  He was annoyed with himself for being so childish but it was his way and he was too fucking old to change now.  He jumped up...he had to things to do.  He went to his work kit and found a medium sized plastic evidence bag.  He went up to his bedroom and put Gil's tee and boxers in it and folded it over to make it airtight.  That would preserve his smell.  He chuckled; Gil would probably be horrified that Nick was keeping a pair of his boxers, unwashed, in a plastic bag.

He got himself a soda and called Tom.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself.  So things are going good?"

"More than good; he's the one for me...and he feels the same way...I really lucked out, Tom, after all this time."

"You should have said you liked them old I could have fixed you up before..."

"...no one you could find would be like him."

"So bring him over, darling, let me give him the once over."

"No can do...he's just left for Paris for four months..."

"Motherfucking bullshit, Nick.  Is he trying to dump you, much?"

"No!  He's teaching at the Sorbonne but this is his last semester."

"At the Sorbonne?  You got yourself a fucking intellectual?"  Tom sounded incredulous.

"Are you calling me a country hick?"

"You!  A red-necked backwoodsman?  If the shoe fits..."

"You think you're so funny."  But Nick still chuckled...he needed cheering up.  "Which reminds me, Dan's had a heart attack."

"Serious, I hope."

***

Gil texted as he boarded the plane at McCarran. 'Just boarding. No problems except missing you. But already looking forward to March 12^th. ily Gx'

Nick texted back immediately.  'Safe flight. 6 weeks 1 day. Love you Nxox'

'Will do. 6/1.  ily Gx'

Nick had been cheered up with his call to Tom and had arranged to go spend time at his the following week.  His next chore was to call Heather.  She didn't answer her cell so he left a message.  He called his Mom and asked after Dan...the stents were working and he was out of hospital and had promised his doctors a change of lifestyle.  Nick's Mom was sceptical.  She also wanted to know more about Nick's new 'man'.

"Well Mom, he's fifteen years older than me and he's teaching at the Sorbonne in Paris."   Nick hoped to impress his mother, after all Tom was impressed and he was probably just as difficult as his Mom.

"You don't think that's a little old for you, honey?"

"No.  If I was younger, then maybe...but we're...I love him and I think he feels the same way."

"Only think?"

"I know, okay?"  Nick had expected all this from his mother.  "He's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I'm not letting go and neither is he...we're a couple and it feels right."

"Then I'm happy for you; it's about time you settled down.  Is he French, are you going to live in France?"  His mother suddenly sounded a little panic stricken."

"No.  He lives in Vegas and he's coming back in May.  He's just done this one year at the Sorbonne.  I'm visiting Paris in March.    

"He must be special if you're travelling to Europe.  Have you even got a passport?"

"Shit!  Sorry, Mom.  No, I haven't...thanks for asking me, I'll get onto that." He did have one but he was sure it was years...and then some, out of date.

He finished up his call with his Mom and a few moments later his phone buzzed with a call.  Heather.

"Hi, Heather. Thanks for getting back...."  They arranged an appointment for Friday evening at her home.  It was his day off.

Just after Nick arrived at work he had another text from Gil.

'Had to disembark at Dallas. 45m delay so walking around airport to get as much exercise as I can.  Did 1hrs work on the flight. Missing you. Is it 6/1/2 now? Ily Gx'

'Six weeks and half a day! Don't rub it in. Just got to work. Made up mind I'm going to tell CW about us. I'll text her response. Seeing H on Friday pm. Tom next week. Love you. Nxox'

'Keeping busy! CW will be fine and so will H. Don't let Tom introduce you to any eligible young men. You're with me now. Ily Gx'

'Jealous?  I like it. Got to go to assignments. Love you. Nxox'

Nick was grinning to himself as he made his way to the conference room with his assignment slips.  Nothing major but six crime scenes.  He gave Ray, Sara and Greg two each and told them if he had time he'd come out and help...but it was evaluation time and he was open to bribery and corruption.  Greg offered his coffee but Nick said he knew where it was anyway.  Sara and Ray laughed...sure in the knowledge that they wouldn't need to bribe Nick for a good evaluation.

He gathered his paperwork for the evaluations and went to Catherine's office.  He dumped the paperwork on her desk.

"I'm going for a coffee, you want one?"

"Yes please."

A few minutes later Nick brought the coffees in and closed the door behind him.

"I've done the provisional evaluations, if you want to check them over and add or delete anything I can get them typed up.  No surprises.  Ray is too good for his boots.  Sara still jumps the gun when abuse is involved.  Greg is getting better, especially his paperwork."

"You helped him with that...so it's paid off?"

"I think so.  He loves the job and is happy, but I think he would still be better if he was a tech."

"You're right.  It's a pity we couldn't keep Wendy, I bet she'll be an excellent CSI."

"Copy that."

"I'll get them back to you tomorrow.  You okay?"

"More than okay.  If you have the time..."

"...I always have time for you, you know that."  Catherine smiled at him.

"I know you do.  So sit back and relax, take a few sips of your coffee...you're in for a shock."

Her eyebrows went up at his remark.  "You reckon I can still be shocked after all these years?"

"I don't know.  Maybe surprised is a better word.  We'll see."  Nick picked up his own coffee and took a few sips.  He thought he'd feel nervous about telling her but he didn't.  His nerves about his private life seemed to have disappeared and he knew that there was a direct link to his confession to Gil and then to Heather.  His life had changed for the good with Gil walking through his door.  The best Christmas present he'd ever had.

"So...."

"So."

"I have a new boyfriend.  He came back into my life on Christmas Day...because he'd lost his wallet.  I wasn't his first choice but he couldn't go there so someone suggested me.  I didn't know he was gay and...ditto...  But...we got together and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me and now we're a couple and we're going to stay a couple...even though he's had to go back to Paris to work until May."  Nick stopped and he could see Catherine's frown and knew that she was doing some thinking about the information she'd just been given.

"Do I know him?"

"Very well."  Nick grinned.

"I don't believe it...but I do...I knew he was gay.  I knew it!"

"He is."

"So what about Sara?  If Gil's been in Vegas since Christmas...I thought she was in Paris the first week in January."

"No.  Greg saw her in Henderson.  They split up sometime over the summer and there's a divorce pending...but it might not even have been a marriage.  A Pinkerton's PI is in Guyana, as we speak, checking it out.  It seems it could have just been a betrothal ceremony and not a marital one.  We'll know soon enough."

"Does Greg know about you...oh, my God, does Sara?"

"Greg knows I'm gay and so does Ray.  I don't know about Sara.  I do feel guilty because she told me a couple of days ago that she is getting a divorce from Gil...said it didn't work out..."

"...she's said nothing to me.  Or Conrad."

"I know.  She did say she was only telling me.  I have no idea why.  If she suspects...I don't know.  She knows Gil is gay."

"Well...she's only got herself to blame.  She chased him relentlessly and I guess he just gave in."  Nick nodded his agreement.  "I doubt she realises about you...but if she finds out it may make it difficult for you."  Nick nodded again. "But just so you know...if anything happens I will back you to the hilt.  You know that?"

"Thanks Catherine, I appreciate the vote of confidence."

"Is Gil coming back to Vegas?"

"Very probably.  He says he wants to work in the US...but I think he should go where the work is...he needs to work and he particularly needs a challenge."

"Perhaps you could work part-time and visit with him."

"Maybe that's an option..."

"...I was joking."  But she smiled.

They were quiet for a few moments.  "So was it a shock or a surprise?"

"Yes and no.  I'm not in the least surprised that Gil is gay.  Maybe I'm surprised it took so long for you guys to get together.  I mean now I think about you both...it's a match made in heaven.  You'll be a happy couple, I know; yeah, very well matched."

"Thanks."

"Okay, so what do you know about Jim and Sofia?"

Nick laughed.  "I've been told that that's top secret."

"Ha!  Nothing escapes my notice.  Sofia virtually told me, to be honest.  Jim's always been a player...back in the day he was a real ladies man."

"I didn't know that.  He flies under the radar does Jim, although Gil obviously must have known."

"They've been close friends for years...but you must know that."

"No...I didn't...I knew they were friends but not that close."

"Gil never gossips..."

"...I know that."

"But I bet he knows everything there is to know."

"You could be right...I'll start some gentle interrogation."

"To be honest, Nicky, I think even you will have difficulty dragging anything out of him."  She laughed.

"I know what you mean."  Just then Nick's phone buzzed with an incoming text.  "Gil.  Leaving Dallas for Paris, I think."

'Just got back on board.  So radio silence until Paris.  Have you spoken to CW yet? Ily Gx'

'Yes.  Not in the least surprised. Says she always knew you were gay! Thinks we're going to make it we're well suited. Take care and call me when you touch down.  Love you. Nxox'

'CW always knows everything. She's a good ally. Got to go. Ily Gx'  

"He says you always know everything."

"Of course I do...I wish."

"One last thing.  I will tell Sara everything once we find out about the marriage in Guyana.  There could well be some serious fall-out when that happens.  I'll keep you posted...and I don't have to tell you that this is all confidential, for now, at least."

"Of course I'll keep your secret.  You know that."  Although Catherine was already thinking whether or not to tell Lou.  Perhaps she'd better not...just yet.

***

They were both very busy.  Nick with all the work he could handle plus more and Gil getting into the swing of his lecturing.  Nick's shifts sometime made communications via Skype difficult; when Nick could talk Gil would be working or asleep or vice versa.  But they managed with e-mails and texts...and when they did actually get to see each other it was a bonus.

The first major talk they had was about Nick's visit to Heather and the repercussions.  Heather had called him on Thursday and invited him to 'supper' on Friday and Nick felt he couldn't refuse since she was being so helpful and kind to him, but he hoped it would be more substantial than her sandwiches or he'd be stopping for pizza on the way home.

He needn't have worried she did a veritable banquet of cold cuts and salad.  Rather than talk he felt he could sleep in her overstuffed arm chairs.  He was very relaxed and they talked over his assault again and he tried to tell her how he felt, as a boy, when it had happened.  Since he was now an adult and understood what had happened to him it was difficult to recall clearly how he'd coped and felt as a child.  He hadn't told his Momma and that seemed, he thought now, to have been his biggest burden because he knew that he should have told her and he carried the guilt of not telling her.

Heather thought that this was a key to him moving forward.  He was the innocent boy, and completely innocent, she was at pains to point out, and yet he felt guilt for keeping the secret.  That was what he needed to do, tell his mother and release him from that guilt.

They talked about it and around it for two hours and he felt good; he was amazed that he could talk about it so easily.  It was like he'd known all along it wasn't his fault and yet he'd assumed a mantle of guilt for keeping the secret. Now that it wasn't a secret it wasn't scary anymore.  The only hurdle he had left was to tell his parents.  And that was not going to be easy but Heather, like Gil, thought it would be the only way for his guilt to be assuaged; to do now what he should have done then.

He said he would speak to his parents and ask them to come to Vegas if only for a one night stop-over, so that they could meet with Heather and Nick could tell them.  She believed that his parents would understand.  He father would probably be very angry, not at Nick but at the babysitter and himself for not protecting his son.  His mother would be devastated for having missed Nick's anguish.  But it should be done and if they chose to spend time in therapy themselves than they would eventually understand.

Nick laughed.  Really laughed.  The thought that his father, the Judge, would undertake therapy was one of the funniest things that he'd ever heard.  Heather shut Nick up with a look. 

"He will see it as a failure, Nick. A failure to keep his family safe.  And truthfully?"  A sombre Nick nodded.  "Both of them failed to see what a nine year old boy hid from them.  If they had really talked to you when you were crying and your mother thought you sickening for something would you have been able to withstand their...interrogation, for want of a better word?"

Nick thought about it for some minutes, although he'd known the answer as soon as Heather had asked the question.  He shook his head.

"If Dad had stood over me...like he did when something was wrong, there wouldn't have been a hope in hell that I could have not told him."

"That's the answer.  You have carried the guilt that should have been your parent's guilt.  They were adults and would have known what to do...as you do now...but you didn't know when you were nine."

"You're right."

"I think you are remarkable, Nick.  All I've done is talk to you and explain a few things but you have come up with all the answers.  Despite everything you are a very well rounded individual."

"You think?"  He grinned.

She nodded.  "I know."

"What do you think about this issue I have about being penetrated?  I know I don't have to...and Gil has been really great about it and has said it doesn't matter to him, and I'm sure it doesn't."

"Have you ever tried and failed?"

"No."

"I would not say this glibly to just anyone...but because it's you and Gil...why don't you just try it and see?  Your fears, I am sure, are because of the assault but you are now addressing those issues, very successfully, and it could be that the only problem you have now...is just the thought of being penetrated...not the actual process.  You could have no better partner than Gil to help you overcome this last hurdle."

Nick grinned; just hearing Heather telling him what to do was like a weight lifting from his shoulders. "Gil holds you in the highest regard, and I can see why."

She smiled. "I have always been a little annoyed that Gil is gay.  I was furious when he called to tell me he'd married Sara.  I didn't tell him, of course, but I would have made a concerted effort to seduce him if I'd thought for one minute that he had any real heterosexual tendencies."

Nick really laughed. "I never knew.  I'm gay and I never knew."

"You know now and that's the important part."

"It is.  I must get going, taking up your evening.  Thank you for the meal it was great.  Look could I take you out...a meal, a show.  I would love to...hell; imagine me with Lady Heather on my arm."

"Dr Kessler."  She added dryly but then her voice softened. "But I would appreciate that, Nick.  I rarely go out, believe it or not, men scurry away from me, they think I will tell the world their secrets."

"I'm sorry it was crass of me to make that remark.  But you are a very beautiful woman and I would be very happy to be seen out with you."

"Would you believe it if I told you I have never seen a Cirque du Soleil show?"

"I've seen a couple...we even had an accidental death on the set of ''Ka'.  What about 'Mystere'?"

"'O'.  I have always wanted to see 'O'."

"I'm off next Wednesday.  If I can get tickets for the evening performance would that be okay?  Dinner before or after?"

"That would be wonderful.  After, I think, so we can discuss it all."

"I'll call with the details."

"Thank you so much, Nick."

"I also need to know when you're available...if I can get Mom and Dad to visit."

"I will make myself available, it is too important to miss."

"Thanks, Heather."  And Nick hugged her and felt her relaxed and warm in his arms.

On his way home he thought about taking her to a show...he really hoped he would be seen by someone he knew.

At home he texted Gil to tell him what he was going to do and then he called Dallas.

"Dad, how are you and Mom?"

"We're good.  Jillian tells me you've got a special boyfriend."

"Yeah, I have.  He's the best...he's the one for me."

"So, you'll be the last one to settle down, then?"

"Looks like it.  He's teaching in France until May...but then we're setting up home together."

"That's good son.  How's work?"

"Never a minute to spare.  But good.  Look Dad, I'd like you to come and spend a few days with me in Vegas.  What do you think?"

"I think that's a mighty fine idea.  Finding the time might not be so easy...but I'd be good to get away from Dan's problems; give us a break."

Nick was surprised at how easy it was but was instantly filled with regret at asking him to come visit knowing that he was about to drop a fucking bombshell.  They'd be grateful for Dan's problems when they heard what he'd got to say.  But then, he hadn't told them yet.

"Okay then...fix a date.  I'll text Mom with the dates when I've got two days off together...and I'm off to Paris for a week on March twelfth."

"Jillian told me you were going to France.  I'll tell her to expect your text and I'll ease the way for a visit...you know what a homebody she is."

"Yeah."  Nick was feeling sick.  At that moment he doubted he would ever tell his parents his secret; how could he hurt them so badly?

***

Nick usually slept well.  His body accustomed to working shifts but he couldn't get the call to his dad out of his mind.  In the middle of the night he got up and called Gil on his phone.

"Hey, sweetheart...I thought you'd be in bed."

"I was and I can't sleep.  I saw Heather..."

"...what's wrong?"

"Nothing with me...she thinks I'm doing great and we've got a date...I'm taking her to a show..."

"...so it's your parents?"  Nick sighed with relief at Gil's ability to get straight to the cause of his problems.

"Yeah, it is.  Man, I love you."  Nick sighed again and Gil waited for him to go on.  "I called Dad and he was quite excited about a visit to Vegas...so how can I get them here and then try and kill them both...it will you know."

"Nick, neither Heather, nor me, can tell you what to do...you have to do it and if you can't then that's going to have to be okay.  I understand...I don't think I could ever tell my Mom...but then, Nick, I wasn't hurt like you were."

"I know.  I know I should tell them and I know you and Heather are right...but they're old now and it would be too much for Momma I'm sure."

"They still work in the justice system and may be old in years but they're still at the top of their game...don't underestimate them, Nick."

"You're right about that.  I've just had a thought...I know I wanted them here to tell them and for Heather to be my back-up...but I could go to home...to Dallas that is...and tell them there.  Just do it."

"Whatever you decide I am behind you one hundred percent...it's just..."

"Just what?"

"I wish I was with you...now.  I've been working really hard..."

"...harder than looking after house for me?"

"There's no comparison.  Scrubbing floors and eating gruel."  Gil chuckled and Nick's chest contracted at his longing for this man who was thousands of miles away.

"No...I've been working non-stop at the university, preparing papers and experiments and thinking of ways to entertain the students.  Swimming in the morning and walking at night...I've just collapsed into bed exhausted...I miss you so much."

"Yeah.  I thought students were there to be educated not entertained?"

"You know what it's like...ten percent love it and devote a lot of time to their studies, ten percent don't give a crap and eighty percent need to be kept on their toes."

"I was in the top ten percent."  Nick said, bragging.

"I bet you were right at the top."

"Yeah, I was, mostly."  He felt a lot calmer for talking to Gil and then yawned.  "I think I need to go back to bed.  But I'm going to go to Dallas...fly down one day and come back the next...try and tell them and if I do, I do, if I don't I'll have to think of some other strategy."

"Sounds like a plan.  I love you, Nicky, and remember that I'm perfectly okay with anything you decide to do."

"I love you right back.  It's good to know I have someone on my side...all the time."

"All the time and don't you forget it."

"I won't.  Night."

"Good night, my love."  Gil ended the call.  Nick smiled despite his sadness; Gil always ended their calls which was a good job because he didn't think he'd ever be able to press, 'end call'.

He was off on Wednesday and was taking Heather to a show and then dinner and then he was off the following Monday and Tuesday.  He'd fly out Monday morning and back on Tuesday.  He was visiting with Tom on Saturday...late afternoon since he was on graveyard after Wednesday. Nick went to bed and slept.  His mind was made up...at least he'd try and tell them.  They'd be sufficiently suspicious of his just dropping in as it was so he was half way there anyway...he hoped.  He'd tell Heather about his plan on Wednesday.

He booked his flights on-line before work and told Catherine he needed to go to see his parents so he'd stay in the lab on Sunday night with his paperwork to make sure he didn't get embroiled in any case.  If he could get home for seven in the morning it would give him about four hours sleep before his afternoon flight at twelve fifty-five.  He would hire a car at the other end.  With the time difference he could be at the ranch for six thirty, seven...on a good day.  Strangely, he felt calmer for buying the tickets and making his plans.  Maybe he would tell them after all.

He dropped in at the Bellagio and got tickets for 'O' and made a reservation in the Italian restaurant, Circo; he was pretty sure Heather would like Italian.  He had no idea why...she just looked like she would.  He chuckled to himself as he made his way back to his truck.  Gil would be really annoyed that he'd made such an assumption without evidence.  Nah...he thought, everyone one likes Italian. When he got into his truck he texted Heather...just to make sure.  His assumption was correct.

The next few days he devoted to work and more work, to eating, sleeping and working out.  To calling Gil and texting and e-mailing and using Skype.  Their communication strategy was working well...apart from the time difference but then Nick's shifts also made it awkward sometimes and easier at other times.  But with being able to text one another at virtually any time of the day or night meant they could always in contact if they needed to be and Nick thought the that that very knowledge made him feel better.

When Wednesday arrived he'd had a good sleep and felt refreshed; he talked to Gil, went for a run and then came back, showered dressed in smart casual clothes and left in comfortable time to pick up Heather.  Nick thought she looked lovely.  She always had a melancholy air about her and usually dressed sombrely but for the show and dinner she wore a plain but beautifully cut dress in burnt orange and had cream coloured accessories...a jacket, clutch purse and pumps.  She looked very elegant and casual all in one go and for about the tenth time that evening Nick hoped he was seen...what a stir it would cause.

Nick had seen 'O' before but he was totally mesmerised, not by the show, but with Heather's wide-eyed, almost childlike enjoyment. She did smile, usually enigmatically, but watching the show she laughed and smiled and even took to elbowing Nick when something caught her attention.

She was equally enthusiastic when they left the theatre.  "Nick, I'm really annoyed with myself for not coming to see the show before.  What a treat.  You know what I need to do now, don't you?"

"Yeah."  Nick guessed.  "See them all." 

"Definitely."

"Then we've got ourselves a regular date...I mean that's if you want me come with you?"

"Of course I do...but with one proviso...that I pay my way."

"Take it in turns then...but I do owe you for the therapy."

"Not therapy.  Animated discussion between friends?"

They both laughed and she linked her arm through his as they made their way to the restaurant.

"You have told Gil haven't you?"

"Of course."

"I have never thought that he was a jealous man, but then he has never loved before."

Nick smiled and blushed.  He knew she was dead right.

Over dinner he told her his decision about his parents. 

"I understand, completely.  You do not have to tell them and I understand your reasoning but I will reiterate that it will help your complete recovery from the trauma."

"Gil thinks they may take it better than I think...he says they're lawyers and they should understand."

"That is a very valid point.  But they are your parents first."

"Yeah."  But Nick remembered times when he thought that the legal profession meant more to both of them than their family.

"What are you thinking?"

"About their work.  I used to think they thought more of their work than their family."

"Is that all of your siblings, or you particularly?  Was it before or after your assault?"

Nick leaned back in his chair.  "I think it was all of us...I can remember an argument with Mom and Helen and I remember Helen screaming at Mom about it...I was very young so it must have been before the assault...but then Helen was a handful.  She had more arguments than all the rest of put together...times two!"

Heather leaned back too and dabbed at her mouth with her napkin.  "I think it was probably quite a normal household...everyone vying for position and your parents trying to forge their careers and finding that balancing it all was a trial at times."

"I'm sure you're right.  Anyway, I've put my money where my mouth is and booked the flight for next Monday...coming back on Tuesday.  As soon as they know I'm there they'll know there's something wrong.  Funny; but we all go home when things go wrong."

"Then that, Nick, is a measure of how well your parents did do their job."

"I guess."  He smiled.

The next night at work, Greg came in itching to impart his knowledge to the team.

"Guess who I saw at the Bellagio last night?"

"Brad Pitt?"  Catherine had a soft spot for the actor.

"Angelina Jolie?"  Ray followed Catherine's theme.

"Me?"  Nick asked, stealing some of Greg's thunder.

"And...the Lady herself!"

"Lady?"  Ray had no idea who she was.

"Heather Kessler."  Sara added sullenly and her mouth turned down in distaste.

Catherine knew immediately why Nick was with Lady Heather...she was a very good friend of Gil's.  She wondered if Sara would make that connection...she would if she knew, or suspected about Gil and Nick.

"So you getting sex therapy?"  Greg wanted to know.

"Sure; doesn't everyone have therapy at the Bellagio?"

"Very probably."  Ray chuckled.  "She's a sex therapist?"

"She was a dominatrix in an S and M club she used to own."  Sara wanted the salient facts to be known.

"Her daughter was very, very brutally murdered a few years ago.  She left the business and studied psychiatry."  Nick added.  Zoe's case was one of the most disturbing cases he'd ever...they'd all ever worked on.

"I would imagine she does well with her background.  Nothing like some practical experience to understand where your patients are coming from."  Ray was actually quite impressed with her credentials which further irritated Sara, who sighed and looked away.

"Hold on, hold on."  Greg was annoyed that his acute observation had been hijacked.  You're all missing the point here...why were you out with Lady Heather?"  Greg addressed Nick.

***

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