Making Friends...

On Nick's next day off, which luckily coincided with Gil's free day, Gil suggested a long hike with the dogs and then back to his place and he'd allow Nick to barbeque a couple of steaks.

Gil had decided that they'd hike, eat and then while they were having a beer and relaxing after dinner he would tell Nick about his feelings. A straightforward plan. Might as well be direct and get it over and done with...it was odd that he thought that. Get it over and done with...it implied, even as Gil thought it, that it would be a fruitless confession...if ever there was a fully-fledged heterosexual alpha male...it was Nick Stokes.

They went for their hike...over two hours through the foothills. When they arrived back, Nick asked if he could take a shower since he was hot and dusty. That was no problem and Gil followed after him.

Nick barbequed the steaks and Gil made a salad to go with them. No fries...it was going to be a healthy dinner. It was delicious meal. And everything went exactly to plan.

They'd eaten, stacked the dishwasher, cleaned up the barbeque as best they could with it still being hot and were sitting nursing a lite beer each on the deck of the white house. It was a warm late afternoon and the dogs were sleeping in the shade after their strenuous hike.

Gil had chosen a picture of the Californian Condor for Nick to paint for him...he'd been hard pressed to choose between that and the Stellar Jay but he'd chosen the Condor because it was the rarer of the two birds. Nick had already decided to paint both birds for Gil and maybe give him one as a birthday present.

"Nick." Gil paused; he hadn't practised what he was going to say. He was looking at Nick but Nick was staring ahead and he took a sip of his beer, but then looked at Gil.

"What's up?" He was frowning at Gil hesitation and at Gil as he stared at him, his beer was suspended between his lap and his lips.

"Yes, you know, feelings..." He spread his hands out to expand on the word but he sounded, even to himself, a little impatient.

"Well...yes." Gil was frowning now since he thought that Nick was being deliberately obtuse but as he really concentrated on Nick he could see he was shocked. His mouth had dropped open. "I can see you had no idea...I'm sorry..."

"Yes, I have, but just for you...not anyone else. Except for an...well a short lived...at college..." This was going badly and Gil knew it.

"Oh. Oh." Nick turned away from Gil and huffed out a breath and them remembered his beer and took a long swig from the bottle. When he'd finished he spoke again. "I'm not gay."

"I don't think so. I have thought of little else since we got back from Bryce. I'd tried to examine my feeling dispassionately. I think you are more than a friend to me. I don't feel fatherly towards you...I want to..."

"I was just going to say be more than friends. But it's academic now...so I'm sorry I mentioned it."

"I don't mean...look I'm just shocked, okay. I need to go now, so let's...okay?" Nick was floundering; he knew it and so did Gil.

"Come on Sam, time to get going." Sam and Belle were at his side in an instant. "Belle you're staying, Sam's coming home with me." Though Nick patted Belle's shoulder and smiled at her. "Thanks for the steak...it was great."

And for the first time since they met at the park all those months ago Nick was stuck for something to say and Gil was cursing himself for saying too much.

Gil watched from his front door as Nick fastened Sam into the truck and then got in...he didn't wave as he usually did and Gil watched him drive away until he was out of sight and then closed the door and banged the back of his head against it and he whispered and then shouted.

Nick couldn't believe it as he drove home. Gil wasn't gay but he had gay feelings for him. This was the weirdest thing that had even happened to him...and then some.

He thought they were really good friends. He would go so far as to say that he thought Gil was the best friend he'd ever had. No doubt about that now from Gil's point of view. He wanted more. Nick was incredulous. What was he going to do now? Could he continue being friends with Gil thinking...knowing...that he felt more for Nick than Nick did for him?

And what was Gil saying about college? He said nothing but something had happened so maybe he'd had a little guy on guy action. Nick knew it had happened at his college between some guys...mostly when they were drunk and in the absence of female company. Nick wasn't homophobic...he was sure he wasn't...but he'd never had a het guy come on to him...well a gay het guy. A bisexual...that's what Gil was then. A bisexual.

Normally the texts from Nick would include a little back ground information. 'Stuck at a double 4-19' or 'Processing in lab.' But Gil thought he could judge the lay of the land by the terseness of Nick's one word response. Nevertheless he wouldn't let Sam suffer even if he had ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him...he was sure that's what he'd done and a black melancholic cloud descended on him after the realisation of what his foolhardy confession had done to their friendship.

Nick, while not exactly melancholic was distracted. He was at the lab discussing a case when DB had asked him a question and he had to be alerted to that fact by Greg almost shouting his name to bring him back to the present.

"I'm okay, really. Just got a little private matter I need to sort...I'm sorry about back there...it won't happen again."

"...I'm okay. It's fine." The very last thing Nick was going to do was share the information. On the other hand he knew he could trust DB, but no, he would deal with this in-house.

After eight days of very perfunctory texts between them and not seeing each other Gil was reconciled to the fact that he'd blown it. Well and truly.

He guessed he was going to have to write another grovelling letter of apology...this time to Nick. He still hadn't heard a thing from Heather, and really didn't expect to now...it had been eight months since his appalling indiscretion with her. And now eight days after his equally appalling indiscretion with Nick.

He had come to the reluctant but necessary conclusion that he was destined to be a single lonely man for the rest of his days. He'd managed to ruin a marriage and kill two friendships and he was certain he would never try again to get close to anyone since the hurt was almost too much to bear. Ridiculously it was the hurt of losing Nick that was the hardest thing...followed by Heather. He was actually happy to be divorced from Sara.

Nick made the decision. It had been eight days since he was last at Gil's house and he missed him like crazy. He was confused since he'd never missed anyone as much as he'd missed Gil. But that didn't mean he was gay...or even bisexual...did it? Of course it didn't. It meant he missed his friend.

He drove over to Gil's house on the evening of the eighth day. It was his night off and he'd spent all day mulling over what to do and say...or what not to say and what not to do...

He parked up as usual and got Sam from the back seat and walked up to the front door just as it opened.

"Sorry...it's Belle. She suddenly started going crazy, barking and jumping at the front door...it was you arriving with Sam."

"She obviously did." Gil paused. Open mouth and put foot in, he thought before he did just that. "So did I."

And just like that it seemed that they were okay with one another. They talked all evening about everything under the sun...except that. And they took their dogs a walk to Gil's local park before Nick and Sam went home. It seemed as if they were back on track.

As Gil snuggled down in his bed he was a happy man. He may not have a lover but he was certain that he had his best friend...and his dog...back in his life. He would never mention his idiotic feelings again...he had all he needed... well that wasn't quite true but he would have to be satisfied. And he was...as he dropped off to his first untroubled sleep for eight days...

As Nick headed home he was even more confused. They hadn't said a word about the feelings that Gil had professed towards him. Nick was certain he needed to talk about it all and sort it out once and for all...see where they stood. He knew he was going back home to watch some sports action...if he could concentrate and he was pretty certain he wouldn't be able to...

Whenever they saw each other it was like old times but as Gil was adamant in his own mind that he never wanted to talk about his feelings again; Nick was equally adamant in his own mind that he did want to talk about the declaration...but then couldn't find a convenient opening to broach the subject.

In the meantime they continued to see Eli...he was now making Tina's life a misery because he wanted a dog. She didn't think she was ready to cope with a dog and Eli wasn't old enough to assume full responsibility. She enlisted Nick's help to try and dissuade Eli. It was not easy since he saw Sam and Belle as examples of the kind of dog he wanted. Nick tried hard to convince Eli that Sam and Belle were exceptional dogs because they'd been well trained before Gil and Nick had got them.

Eli couldn't quite grasp the fact that he would be more than lucky to find a dog like them...he would surely get a lovely dog but it might need training and his mom, especially, and him weren't equipped to take that on just yet.

In fact it was Nick's gentle reminder to Eli that Tina's reluctance to have a dog was because she'd been so sick just a few months before that had won the argument in the end, since Eli did remember how sick she'd been and how hard it had been for him to look after her. Nick gently pointed out that she needed time to fully recover before she had an addition to the household... But what about a guinea pig? Tina was happy with that and once Eli had been to the pet shop he was convinced...that and the fact that Nick had booked another weekend away for Eli, Gil and himself in a cabin in Bryce canyon.

It was the fact that they were going away that spurred Nick on to pluck up the courage and finally speak to Gil about that fucking elephant...as Nick had begun to call their lack of communication about Gil's feelings...

It was the week before they were due to go to the canyon again and Nick visited Gil...as usual with Sam. Gil was cooking a stew for them and he'd just put it in the oven and was clearing away. Nick was leaning on the counter in the kitchen area and they were talking about a case Nick was working when it suddenly came to the forefront of Nick's mind...now was the time to talk.

He took a huge breath and even as Gil was talking about the life cycle of a particular insect Nick butted in...

Gil stopped in his tracks and looked at Nick with what Nick thought was a very stricken look...he obviously didn't want to talk about it at all. Gil put his hands in his pockets and leaned back on his heels looking down to the floor...when he looked up at Nick his face gave nothing away. A poker face and Nick very nearly laughed; he at least smiled.

"Yes, I have...but I can live with them...I don't want to jeopardise this relationship...this friendship we have over my overblown ideas of something more. I'm sorry I ever said anything to you, I really am."

"I've thought about it and it's okay...I mean that it was okay for you to tell me." He added quickly to qualify his sentence.

"But it was an almighty shock for you. I suppose I just had this ridiculous idea that you...a certified heterosexual...might just have some...feelings for me."

"I know you did. And I don't...well except...since you told me I've thought of nothing else...and I think that this relationship...friendship...is the best thing I've ever had going. I don't know whether I should be happy about that or freaked out. I just don't know."

Gil stepped closer to Nick and put his hand on Nick's upper arm...to the relief of both men Nick didn't flinch. "I'm never going to jump you or anything like that I can assure you it's just that I do feel the same...that we seem to have, almost accidentally, fallen into the closest relationship either of us have ever had."

"So you do want to make out with me?" Nick asked with an element of trepidation.

"Hell, yes." Gil laughed. "But I have reconciled myself to the fact that it will never happen. Please don't worry about it...I have more than enough self-discipline never to even think about it." He hoped...

Nick nodded and to his surprise he felt a little disappointed and he had no fucking idea why.

"But Nick I do have another proposition to put to you...and I assure you I have absolutely no ulterior motive except one of plain convenience." He paused and swallowed. "I spend a lot of time travelling to and from your house for Sam. You spend a lot of time here with me and I end up cooking a lot of meals for both of us...how about moving in with me...the second bedroom is as big as mine and has its own bathroom, you've spent enough time here to know that. There's enough room in the third bedroom...you know I use it as a den even with the single bed in it...and there's enough room for another desk and bookcase for you." Nick was just staring at Gil.

"You don't have to decide now...but you, we, could give it a try for say a month, or two, and if it worked out you could rent your place...some extra cash and the dogs would be together...it would just make life easier for all of us... " He ran out of steam but he thought he could hear the cogs in Nick's brain whirring as he thought about it and was thinking of a reason good enough to turn it down...especially after Gil's declaration of feelings...

"It could work. It would save time and energy...gas...food...and like you say the dogs would be...in seventh heaven."

"Yeah, I will give it a go...see how we get on. Say two months and I'll decide what to do."

"Okay. Great. That's great." Nick laughed at Gil who seemed completely amazed at Nick's decision.

Gil started the preparations straight away. He painted the bedroom in the colours of Nick's bedroom at his own house and fixed a blackout blind and new curtains. He bought a new bed and bedding, though Nick said he was crazy to do that. Nick started moving some bits and pieces over to his new lodgings.

But the weekend at Bryce intervened and on the Friday afternoon, they picked up Eli from home. He had left Tina with detailed instructions for looking after Jethro...the guinea pig...and off they went on their little adventure.

Eli sat in a child's car seat in the middle of the back seat with Sam and Belle on either side of him. Not twenty minutes into the journey he was fast asleep...as were the dogs.

"We can have a restroom stop and wake him and have a walk around with the dogs. Even though it'll be dark when we get to the cabin we can still go for a hike...the trail was good and we have our flashlights."

"It'll be good to introduce him to the night-time sounds of the woods...we can explain them and take any fear he might have out of it."

Within the hour, although they would have preferred to leave it longer, they stopped to wake up Eli and had a walk around the car lot and then a drink. They decided to play a game in the truck to keep Eli alert and it worked. They stopped again for a bathroom break but then made the final leg in one go.

Eli was awestruck by the cabin...not the same one that Gil and Nick had the last time but exactly the same layout. He was also wide eyed over the great outdoors and looked frightened when Nick said they would take the dogs for a walk.

"Gil and I have good flashlights and we'll have the dogs with us and you can hold our hands...walk in the middle of us. But we'll have something to eat first get our tummies full. What do you want? Pizza?" Nick was beginning to think that a night time walk wasn't such a good idea after all.

"They will...it'll be fun and we can tell you what's going on out there...birds and things. And I bet Gil will be able to tell you about the stars...it's so dark you'll be able to see them all. So pizza?"

In the event Eli only ate one slice of the pizza and left the crust of that. Nick and Gil had meaningful looks over Eli's head but couldn't talk about it...whether they should actually take him out. Nick shrugged at Gil's rather desperate look.

"Okay, Sam, Belle. We're going hiking." The dogs didn't need to be told twice and to Eli's credit the dog's enthusiasm did help him.

They all wrapped up warm while Belle paced around the floor, her usual impatient self. Sam just positioned himself on the floor by the door ensuring no one could leave the cabin without him.

They left on the porch light and Gil and then Nick switched on their flashlights...they were powerful lights and Eli did seem a little easier since he could easily see the trail way ahead. He stood between the men and they each took his hand and after a few minutes he was okay...it wasn't as bad as he feared. The dogs were skittering around them in and out of the beams of the lights.

"Listen, can you hear that?" An owl was hooting in the distance and Nick told Eli all about owls and how they hunted, mostly at night. Then a breeze got up...not half as cold as it had been on the first visit but Nick asked Eli to listen to the wind rustling the tree tops so that he would become familiar with the sound.

Both men realised that in a matter of half an hour Eli was far more relaxed and even let go of their hands...but didn't stray too far from his position between them.

"Yes, please." Eli could hardly hold the bulky light but was happy to throw the beam around, bouncing it up and down the trail and on to the trees.

Eli started to slow down after nearly an hour but they were well on their way back to the cabin.

The men waited while Eli got his clothes undone, Nick shone the light on him so he could see what he was doing.

"I'll have you know my prostate is just fine, thank you very much. Move over Eli, I'm coming to join you." The boy giggled and Gil smiled at him. Nick obligingly held the light for Gil to see and Gil, using the flashlight to highlight it, sent a stream of urine high and long into the trees...Eli was nearly convulsed with laughter and in a matter of moments so were Nick and Gil. "Stop it, I can't go any more." Gil complained but Eli and Nick just laughed harder.

They eventually got back to the cabin and were all hot from the heat of the stove and their walk. Eli was wired and needed to calm down before he would sleep. Gil had brought with him his book, The Wind in the Willows. He said Eli should have a glass of milk and a cookie and he would read to him and Nick.

Eli thought Gil reading to him and Nick was really cool and of his own volition he climbed onto Nick's lap and listened to a couple of paragraphs of the book before he was fast asleep.

Nick carried him up to his bed and sent Sam up with him...Belle followed too. They'd put the dog blankets on the same (spare) bed so that they would share. Nick tucked in Eli and kissed his forehead. "Sweet dreams, sweetheart." He whispered.

He felt good as he went downstairs. Gil was tidying everything away and yawning.

"I don't think I'll be far behind him...the mountain air or the added responsibility of a boy on board."

"I know. He was a brave little soldier going out with us because he didn't want to...you pissing up a tree, man that was priceless." Nick was laughing again.

"It was a pissing contest." Nick slapped Gil gently on his cheek and then without thinking he leaned forward and kissed Gil just on the side of his lips...

It was Nick who broke the silence and he spoke breathlessly. "That was weird. Kissing a beard. I'll go get ready for bed...the dogs don't need to go out again do they?"

"Yeah. Right. Okay." Nick turned and went into the bathroom and closed the door. He looked at himself in the mirror. Where the fuck did that come from? Was it just a friendly kiss like he would kiss his dad or his brother? Fuck...he hadn't kissed his dad or his brother for years. What the fuck?

In the kitchen, Gil hadn't moved since he was still in shock. He knew it wasn't planned, that it was a spur of the moment thing. But Nick Stokes had fucking kissed him. He took a few deep breaths and scratched his beard. He knew what he would be doing first thing in the morning.

Nick had a piss, a quick wash, cleaned his teeth and opened the door. Gil was coming down the stairs...he'd put on his pyjamas.

"Bathroom's free." Nick said and then could have kicked himself for stating the fucking obvious.

"I guessed as much." Nick could hear the sarcasm in the words and chuckled. He was an idiot...it was official.

A few minutes later they were settled in bed and Gil turned off the light. He'd already locked the stair gate to stop Eli falling down the stairs if he woke up and got up in the night.

Despite their exhaustion neither Gil nor Nick fell asleep straight away. They had a lot on their minds.

The next morning Gil was up first quite some time before Eli. He'd let the dogs out and called them back in and then gone to the bathroom for a shower...and...

Eli got up next and went down stairs and his screech woke Nick. He was hooting with laughter and Nick smiled under his blankets at the joyous sound. He turned onto his back and stretched and wondered if Gil would bring him a coffee this morning. And then he remembered and blushed...he pulled the blankets over his head as he remembered what he'd done.

He heard Eli come racing up the stairs shouting Nick and he was followed by the dogs if Nick wasn't mistaken.

"What about Gil?" Nick asked a little suspiciously as Sam came to give his a morning kiss. He pulled Sam's ear and smiled at him.

"His beard is gone. Gone...completely. He said he had when he went to bed and now it's gone!"

"He certainly did." I kissed it, he thought. "And he doesn't know where it's gone?"

"No. It's just gone." It suddenly struck Nick that Eli had no terms of reference...he may not know that most men shaved each day.

The question obviously stirred something in Eli's memory and he paused and thought. "He's shaved it off hasn't he? That's why he says it's gone down the plughole." Eli realised what had happened and nodded sagely. "Did my dad have a beard?" Nick hadn't seen that coming and quickly recovered from his shock to answer Eli. He sat up in bed.

"He did sometimes...a bit of a straggly one...not like Gil's at all, and sometimes a goatee...that's just a moustache on top of his lip and a beard just round his chin. Then he'd grow his sideburns down...here..." He touched Eli's face to indicate where they were. "And then sometimes he just had stubble from not shaving for a few days."

"Oh, okay." And having got the information he required he left Nick and went downstairs again to Gil and he could hear him telling Gil what had happened to his beard. A few minutes later Gil came up with a coffee for Nick.

"What I said before still stands. You're in a safe pair of hands with me." Nick snorted out a laugh and Gil looked affronted but then smirked. "I'm doing breakfast. Eli wants the whole nine yards...and he's not missing home at all, I don't think." He'd dropped his voice to say the last few words.

"He isn't is he." Nick concurred. "Okay I'll get up and shower while you finish breakfast...I'll make Eli wash up."

"We need, young Stokes, a plan of action for today. How to keep a child happy for twelve, fourteen hours."

"Got it. Breakfast. Hike with dogs. Visitor centre. Scenic route, stop for picnic...we can make sandwiches or we can buy in from the centre...another hike with the dogs. Dinner. Games and reading if he's still awake."

"Just now while I was telling you." Nick flung the bedclothes back and moved to put his feet to the wooden floor; he was wearing a pair of bulky thick socks. "Chilly out here."

"I..." Gil turned on his heels in a fit of obvious panic and went downstairs while Nick laughed to himself. "You okay, Eli?"

Eli was looking through the book, The Wind in the Willows, at the illustrations of the animal characters. Nick looked over the balcony and could see the man and boy talking quietly.

They ate a huge breakfast each and Nick washed up while Gil attempted to get Eli showered. They was no tub and it wasn't easy; Eli's and Gil's ideas of a shower were very different. But they managed.

Later than they'd anticipated they took their dogs for the hike...they'd been prowling around and if they'd had watches they would have been checking them every ten seconds. Their masters were late...

Eli loved his hike in the daylight and Nick pointed out the birds and what they were called and Gil found a few insects along the way and pointed them out too...Eli was enthralled. Nick thought he preferred the insects to the birds...he could get up close and personal with them. Nick took a few pictures of them and thought he would paint a picture of an insect that Eli had seen. He'd only just started Gil's watercolours so it wouldn't be any time soon. But maybe he would find more time when he was at Gil's place. The living area light would be great for painting. If Gil would let him set his paints up in there...and then he thought that Gil would let him do anything and he smirked at the thought that he had Dr Gil Grissom wrapped around his pinkie...

Then he wondered just how he came to think such an ungracious thought...but he then decided it was true.

"You're deep in thought." Gil was looking at him and since Eli had skipped on along the path with the dogs Nick told him about his idea with the insects he'd photographed.

"That's a great idea. I was thinking about your painting...you know my living room has the most spectacular light...all year round probably...you should set up your easel in there."

"It's a living room...to live in..." He looked at Nick and then frowned. "What?"

Nick laughed. "I was just thinking what an ideal place it would be to paint and wondering if you'd let me."

"I know." He grinned at Gil who looked at him with a slight frown but then he smiled and they continued walking along the trail together.

The weekend passed by in a flash and when Eli was deposited back with Tina he was so excited he tried to tell her every single thing that had happened. Including the beard. She laughed.

"Rick was so jealous of your thick beard...he could only manage a very straggly one."

Gil hesitated just a little before he spoke. "It just seemed like a good thing to do." And he smiled but he knew he sounded and looked lame.

"It was a nightmare...I went in to check if he was asleep and he wasn't there." She laughed. "I bet he didn't miss me did he?"

The men looked at one another and both shook their heads at the same time. There hadn't been even one moment when Eli appeared to be homesick.

"I guessed as much. He was so excited." Eli had gone to check up on Jethro and suddenly came running back into the room.

"Oh my God...he didn't have any at lunchtime. She didn't..." She looked at Nick and Gil and simultaneously they all started laughing. Nick and Gil took a look at Jethro and he was indeed a mother of three tiny babies.

"You should get a refund from the pet shop, they said he was a boy. Maybe you can sell the babies to them."

At this Gil and Nick decided that a speedy retreat was necessary and backed out of his bedroom.

"We'll see you Tina, I'll give you a call..." Nick held his thumb and finger to his ear to indicate a phone call and at Tina's exasperated look they left as quickly as they could. By the time they got to the truck both men were crying with laughter.

All Gil could do was nod and he was wiping his eyes. "We'd better get out of here or Tina will be calling us back in there to sort it out." He managed before laughing again.

Nick started his truck and made his way over to the white house. The journey was made in comparative quiet after their laughter. When they got to the house and Belle realised she was home she was up and yelping as she normally did...Sam looked up nonchalantly and then threw his head down again...he could sleep for a little longer.

Before he opened his door Gil spoke. "Nick, are you still okay to come and stay with me?"

"Sure I am...about that...I don't know what happened there...I was really happy, I'd just kissed Eli...and things seemed good. You know?"

"Okay. I'll get off home now and pack some more stuff and bring it over tomorrow morning...that good for you?"

They retrieved Gil's stuff and released Belle and Gil opened his front door...Nick brought a bag with him and they were standing facing one another. The last time they were here like this Nick had hugged Gil. The very last time they were this close, Nick had kissed Gil. Nick. Not Gil. Gil did nothing this time neither, just smiled at Nick and Nick laughed and moved forward and hugged Gil...a manly hug as he'd done before.

If he was honest, Gil was a little disappointed but he wouldn't push the issue...he'd promised he would never jump Nick's bones, despite his desire to do so, and he kept his promises...just like Nick.

Nick drove off and waved as Gil watched him leave. Gil closed his front door and spoke to Belle.

"Now that, my precious Akita, was a fucking good weekend. Excuse the language...I know you're a quite refined young lady."

He whistled as he put away all the food they hadn't needed and his dirty clothes in the laundry basket. He opened the window in Nick's bedroom to get rid of the residual paint smell and admired the colour...a very pale terracotta. Pale orange is what Gil would have called it if he hadn't seen the name on the paint tin. It was a lovely room and Gil wondered why he had chosen his room over this one since they were both the same size. He didn't know why. Nick would settle in well...he was sure.

Nick had given up trying to analyse the kiss; he didn't feel he had any physical desire for Gil...not in a sexual way. But he was his friend and amazingly, considering their past in the lab, he was the closest friend Nick had ever had. Ever...he thought that in itself was pretty weird. He was nearly forty-two and that made Gil nearly fifty-seven. He'd given up trying to figure how things worked out given all the shit he'd witnessed over the years, not forgetting the shit he'd personally had to endure not once but three or four times. Maybe it was time to just go with the flow... Yeah...that was the way forward...he'd go with the flow...

He was industrious that evening and went through his clothes and personal belongings and decided what he needed to take and what he wanted to take. He put a small stack of boxes by the front door and was satisfied with his work and for dinner, after all the food he'd eaten during the previous two days, he had a bowl of soup and some crackers.

Sam was tired...he had kept up with Belle all the time but he was six years older than she was and needed a good rest.

"You can have a pee in the yard tonight and then we'll hit the sack. And I mustn't forget to pack your case must I?" He patted the couch and Sam jumped up and laid his head on Nick's lap. "And I must cancel the cable...if I can, can't remember what my contract says. Might be three months...don't know." Sam looked up at him as if to say, 'well if you don't know how the fuck do you expect me to?' Nick laughed and scratched Sam's belly and Sam lifted one hind leg to give Nick more access. "You're good boy, Sam...a very good boy."

Nick felt happy and relaxed with his life and it had been a long time since he felt such contentment...a very long time.

"Nick, I was just wondering how much stuff you're bringing over...if there's too much for your truck I can come over and we do it all in one go. Maybe take the dogs for a hike first."

"I said it when I was moving my belongings out of the house and she said you said it too."

"She doesn't miss a trick does she?" Nick was slightly annoyed but he shook he head. It didn't really matter what she thought or what she said.

"I'm up...just. Sam wanted a piss so I had to get up...but I reckon I'll be over in an hour and half max and we can take the dogs and then unload my gear."

"I think we should unload it first we don't want it being seen in your truck do we?"

"Probably not. I haven't got a lot anyway and if I've missed anything I can always come back for it.

Nick cancelled his cable package and only had to give two weeks' notice. He checked everything was unplugged or switched off. He put all the perishable food he had in a bag to take to Gil's and decided to come back to clear out the fridge...he couldn't be bothered to do it now although it was very nearly empty. Perhaps he'd come back later today. He had some frozen food too, so he would have to come back. He should have let Gil come over and help him because he was sure he was becoming a lazy ass...

Nick moved his clothes and necessities into the bedroom and some books and his computer paraphernalia into the den...it was a tighter squeeze in there than Gil had anticipated so he said he'd send his bookcase to Goodwill and get someone to put up some shelves since there was a lot of spare wall space. He still had the single bed there for Eli if he ever needed it.

"You'll get a guy to put up the shelves for you?" Nick was incredulous; they were having a beer at the kitchen table having just finished moving Nick's gear into the bedroom.

"I'm not big on woodwork...no that's a downright lie; I'm not good on d-i-y. I'd rather pay and have it done properly straight away."

"Of course I'm sure and we need to come to a financial arrangement...I need to pay for my keep."

"Really? I don't know...I mean I hardly ever spent time in Vegas with Sara so I really don't know. I'll start making a comparison of what I spend with you here compared to what I did when I lived on my own. We're bound to save on gas...and you'll save on living costs at your house...if you decide to rent you will recoup your mortgage...I take it you do have a mortgage?"

"Yeah...another nine years. I would like a better cable package than you have and I'll pay for that."

"Time will tell. Time will tell...but we've been together anyway so often that I think I have covered everything...and if I haven't...well then we'll soon find out."

Nick shook his head and chuckled but then became serious again. "I'm looking forward to it...you know those days, nights, when you're alone and would really love to talk to someone...not on your cell or phone but have a physical presence to stop the loneliness."

"I know all about that. I suppose that's why I married Sara. Then I found out that I was just as lonely...maybe even more so because I'd hoped it would end and it didn't. I did have the companionship of the teams with whom I worked. But...well you know what happened."

"Yeah. I'll tell Sara when I get the right moment. Maybe we should invite her round for a meal?"

It was the word 'easy' that defined the men's existence. They co-habited without any problems whatsoever. It started with the shelves. Gil told Nick what he would like. Nick went to a store and bought what he thought Gil would like. Gil liked them. Nick put up the shelves. Gil liked them even more.

Gil told Nick to get his painting gear and put it up by a window in the living room. Nick did just that. Gil, and Nick, thought it made the room lived in and more homely. Nick had started work on the watercolours for Gil, but didn't want Gil to see them before they were finished and Gil agreed he would not look...and he wouldn't, Nick knew that. Nick was also working on one quite large watercolour of all the insects he'd photographed at Bryce and would present it to Eli. Gil acted as his assistant commenting on the colours and shapes...but he didn't have to do much because Nick had got them spot on.

They watched sport together and did fight over games but in a lighthearted manner. And they found that they shared a real passion for the statistics, which completely overruled their squabbles.

Nick ate whatever was put before him and so did Gil. Gil stopped buying cookies altogether...but would often buy one at the mall to eat in secret...until Nick offered to hoover out his truck and found the wrappers and the crumbs... But he was cool with that...it didn't place the cookies in his line of sight or in a cupboard in the house waiting to be eaten. They agreed a very amicable financial package and even paying his mortgage Nick was better off. Gil broke even and he was pleased with that...he didn't want to profit out of Nick. That was never his intention.

They shared all the duties. Cooking and cleaning. Mostly they took their dogs out together and started having longer hikes with them. They did go to a movie...but it was Gil's choice and Nick was left scratching his head at the plot so decided that if he was asked again he'd google the details of the film before he agreed.

There was no hugging and definitely no kissing; but there was a calm and friendly atmosphere all the time. No fights. No sulking. No problem. No problemo...

The nearest Gil got to being desperate to touch Nick was when he sat with him when he was painting the insects...he had to employ all his willpower not to reach over and stroke his hands...or rub his cheek. It was not good for him to be in such close proximity, and it set his nerves on edge.

It was Gil who reminded Nick that they had been living together for nine weeks and that Nick should make a decision about his house. Gil suggested maybe a twelve month rental, so that if their relationship did fall apart at least Nick could get his house back.

Nick laughed at the falling apart bit but agreed to be sensible about it. He thought he would advertise it on the LVPD in-house on-line magazine. In three weeks it was rented to two single police officers. Their rent included an amount for insurance and for a managing agent and Nick still made quite a profit each month.

Nick and Gil had been through the house, removing all the remaining items Nick thought he would need sometime. Including an easy chair that he decided would go in his bedroom when he needed some peace and quiet away from Gil's raucous company.

"Well not at the moment, man, but I don't know in the future that you won't become raucous...now do I?" Nick spoke entirely reasonably and Gil had to agree.

"Thanks, man. I can then retire to my bedroom and recline in my easy chair. Here." He patted the leather chair. Gil nodded and then smirked.

He'd removed most of his books and all of his bedding and his own pictures but left everything else. He looked around and there was nothing that he wanted or needed. The managing agent was going to make an entire inventory of his belongings.

Back at Gil's he put up some shelves in his bedroom for his books and bought a small dresser for his bedding and the rest of his clothes. It made the room better than it had been but all he really ever did in it was sleep...

The dogs loved the set up...they could spend far more time in the yard than either could do before because when Gil was working Nick was usually at home and even if he was sleeping he could rely on the dogs to behave themselves and yet alert him if something untoward happened.

It was a win-win situation all round. Of course others noticed Nick's much more relaxed manner but he'd actually told no one, not even Sara. He did notify HR, but no one he worked with had seen the advertisement for his house...not that it was identified as his.

DB was processing with him at a scene of a murder suicide. "You've certainly turned a corner, Nick. That invisible cloud hanging over you...been there since I arrived here...it's gone. Things settled down for you?"

"Yeah, you know they have? I feel like a new man...well I would do if I didn't have to crouch and kneel and bend so much."

"I swear by it. Pilates...keeps you supple and eases those old muscles that support your bones. You should try it and you'd see the benefits." He added as Nick had grinned from ear to ear at the suggestion.

"That makes you strong and muscled but yoga keeps you supple. I tell you, Nick, you'd be surprised."

"Okay, man, I believe you." Nick grinned some more but then he did have to admit that DB looked fit and could crouch, kneel and bend with the best of them.

"Yoga. DB...he's a pretty fit man, about your age...at least..." He smiled pleasantly at Gil's expression of warning.

Nick hesitated, fatally, for just a moment but in seconds tears were running down his cheeks as he silently cried with laughter. His vision of Gil Grissom's bandy legs in a pair of lycra leggings...

"I think I'll give it a miss." Gil responded looking poker faced and to his credit Nick did try to stop laughing, but he couldn't. But as Gil walked away from Nick he deliberately exaggerated his bandy legs and Nick had to lean on the kitchen counter as he continued to laugh until he ached...the dogs looking at him and bending their heads one way and the other trying to fathom put what was going on.

Nick decided to give yoga classes a go and was surprised to find that although he could do the exercises they were not as easy as he imagined and he wasn't nearly as supple as he thought he was. But he quickly became a convert and kept up the work by buying a DVD and trying the exercises at home, usually before getting into bed and definitely not in front of Gil. He'd brought his TV and DVD player from his own home for his room just after he'd moved in with Gil and so he did his Pilates in private.

He couldn't get to all the classes but made about three quarters of them. It was mostly women but he made it four men that attended regularly.

He would chat with the women before and after class and had taken to going for a coffee, decaffeinated of course, after class with two men and three women. One of the men and one of the women were married to each other.

One evening he was left on his own with a woman called Kate. She seemed a very happy and gregarious woman and they were talking about the new Cirque show that had just opened. Nick just naturally expressed an interest and thought that he would probably get around to seeing it...provided no one got murdered in the machinery first...he found that off putting.

"Nick, would you like to go to the show? You and me, on a date?" She smiled at him and her eyes lit up.

He didn't miss a beat. It never even occurred to him at all until after he'd spoken but his response was...

"Oh. Oh. I'm the one who's sorry...I didn't know, you've never mentioned her." Her smile faded.

Nick was staring at her and he could hardly believe his own ears as he uttered his next words...his mouth was running away with his tongue and he seemed to have no control over it. "It's a guy."

"Oh. God. Sorry. Completely missed the...errr..." She was flustered and grabbed at her bag, with was on the floor beside her seat. "I suppose I'd better get going. See you...bye." And she was gone.

Nick just sat there at the table. He was as astounded, amazed, confused, plainly as shocked as he'd ever been. He wasn't with a guy. He wasn't even gay. He wasn't in a gay relationship with a guy. Gil. Was he?

He sat there for about fifteen minutes and then got up and left his cold coffee and drove home in a daze.

He walked through the front door to be greeted by Sam and Belle and only managed a perfunctory scratch at their necks before he went upstairs.

He stopped still on the top step. "No, thanks. I'm okay. Just going to take a shower."

"Okay. Come on dogs...back in the living room." Gil called to the dogs and Nick went to his room and closed the door behind him.

He sat on the end of his bed and thought about what he'd said. Of one thing he was absolutely certain; it was a completely unconscious response to her question. It wasn't a ploy to avoid a date with her. He liked her and he would have dated her without a second thought a few months back, so what had happened? What the fuck had happened?

He sat still with his forearms on his knees and his head down for a long time then sat up, no nearer a reason than when he'd said it to Kate. He emptied his workout bag and then undressed and got under a hot shower. He stayed there until the water started to cool and then got out.

He decided what he was going to do. He dressed in some old jeans and tee and went downstairs barefoot. Gil had his laptop open on the kitchen table but was pouring himself a coffee.

"Yeah, go on." Nick stood there while Gil had his back to him and then he decided he should do it now.

He walked up to Gil just as Gil was about to turn around with his coffee. He took the coffee mug from Gil and placed it back on the counter and then placed a hand on each of Gil's shoulders. Then he kissed him.

Gil was still clean shaven; he had been since they'd been to Bryce Canyon. Nick closed his eyes and he could have been kissing a woman...except that the body against him was hard and masculine and he knew it was Gil. They seemed perfectly matched and he relaxed into the kiss.

Gil didn't respond immediately...he was too shocked but several seconds into the kiss he brought his arms up around Nick's back and pressed his mouth into the kiss. It had started closed mouthed but now both men had opened their mouths to each other but neither man was using their tongue.

It must have lasted for maybe twenty seconds and then Nick pulled back but left his hands on Gil's shoulders. In response, Gil left his arms around Nick.

Gil pulled back just a little and smiled at Nick. "That was unexpected, but very welcome. But something's happened hasn't it?" He was speaking quietly and evenly; he was aware that Nick was very probably undergoing some radical change or experience and he didn't want to shatter the moment for Nick...or for himself.

"A woman at Pilates asked me out on a date. Just asked me to go on a date to a show and I said...I said without thinking...without any conscious thought at all...I said..." Nick stopped and his hands dropped from Gil's shoulders and his arms hung at his side. He put his head down and Gil's hands went to his upper arms and he held him steady and waited.

"I said, I'm in a relationship with a guy. Just like that without thinking or worrying or anything. Of course I've thought of nothing else since." Gil let go of him and looked for the coffee.

"Here." He handed the mug to Nick, who took it and then he pulled a seat out from the kitchen table and kind of propelled Nick into it. He closed his laptop and sat down next to Nick. "You said it unconsciously, but now you've had a chance to think about it...consciously." He let the statement hang in the air and sipped at his own coffee.

Nick smiled and nodded. "All I can come up with is that it's...this thing that we have is the closest friendship...relationship...I've ever had in my life. I don't think I've ever been happier in my adult life and I have never experienced anything like this before. But I just said to Kate...the woman...I'm in a relationship with a guy. So thinking about it...I think I am...but does it make me gay? I don't know...I guess I must be."

Gil looked at Nick and his heart swelled with love for the man and he would have taken him in his arms there and then and never let him go...but...

Nick was confused, that much was obvious to Gil and he knew that he would have to handle their next conversation with extreme caution.

"Nick, you are not necessarily gay. As a matter of fact I don't think you are. But you've said yourself that you're happy with the way things are...never been happier, that's what you said. That feeling of happiness may just be the result of the purely platonic friendship that we have. We get on well, better with each other than we've ever got on with anyone else. And yes...I do have feelings for you which I equate with physical sexual feelings.

"I love you, I have no doubt about that and I think I fell in love with you on that first trip to Bryce. There was just something about you, us, that in my own mind I did, and still do, think of as a relationship that would normally include sex. And I think, no, I know that you do love me." Nick looked at Gil and nodded and smiled just a small almost shy smile.

"But that doesn't mean that you're in love with me in a physical, sexual way. It could be purely as friends. But at the same time it fulfils you in a way that makes you not want to have any other relationship...specifically a relationship with a woman. Do you get what I'm saying?"

Nick sighed and looked at Gil. "Yeah, I think I do...basically you're saying that what we have is so fulfilling in a...a non-sexual way that we, I, don't need to be involved with anyone else to be...I don't know...complete?"

"That's it. You've explained it much better than I just did...you don't have to take it to the next...physical...level if you are uncomfortable with it...you don't have to...unless you really want to. I sense that maybe you don't." Gil was saying the words but his heart was breaking; this could be his last chance with Nick for something more but he'd never forgive himself if he coerced Nick into something he didn't really want.

"I don't know and that's the point." Nick sounded almost anguished as he spoke to Gil. "You do...and you say that you can live happily, with me, without sex. And I'm not saying that I'm some kind of sex maniac and that I must have it...hell, I've hardly had that much anyway...my right hand has been my most constant companion...but deep down, you know, I think I want that physical connection. I don't want to go for the rest of my life loving you and not being able to express that love. Do you get what I'm getting at? I think l'm talking in riddles."

"No, you're not. You want a full and whole relationship. So do I. But the stumbling block is that you love a man and that sex with a man is, to you, abhorrent..."

"...no, it's not abhorrent at all...I would definitely not go that far...it's just that I've never done it or wanted to do it...until now and I'm still not sure I do want to do it with a man. Except it's you and I think I do." He smiled. "This is weird shit, man."

Gil had butterflies in his stomach at Nick's last statement. He did want sex. With him.

"I don't know what to say now. You do want sex...with me? Or...do you want to try it out and see how it goes?"

"I think I could with you, I really think I could because of the way I feel about you. But what if I can't? Will you...will we break up? Will we lose what we have...because I like it...I love it. Is this what they mean when they say you're between a rock and a hard place?"

"Very likely. It's been getting on for a year since we met in the park. It's over four months since we started living here together. We needn't jump in at the deep end...although there is a lot to be said for taking the plunge." He smirked. "Sorry about the water analogies...but we could just take baby steps. See how it goes. You've kissed me...maybe we should just kiss, make out, at first and get comfortable with the idea. I haven't had any experience with a man for getting on for forty years and it was only one young man and we only did mutual masturbation and he gave me a blow job...actually the best I've ever had even now after all these years."

"I think that's a good idea. Just kind of date, not going out on dates, just do it here."

"I can do better than that. But I have to remember that I'm kissing you...not a guy."

"...no, you're Gil. I know you're a guy but really it's not any old guy I'm kissing it's Gil Grissom, my partner." Nick was grinning now.

"Yes. I am. Your partner." He reached over to Nick and ran his fingertips down his face. "If this fails we'll weather the storm. I would hate to lose you. But if it does fail it may mean that you'll start looking for a woman with whom to share a physical..."

"...I don't think I will. I'm not looking. And this Kate, tonight, was laying it out there for me. I had no interest in her at all...none. Because I had you waiting for me at home."

"There you go...we are mutually invested in this relationship and will work hard to make it succeed."

Gil shook his head and smiled. "I really want to smirk at what you just said, but I can't...because it's right. Absolutely fucking right."

They both laughed and then Nick leaned forward again. But stopped. "Man, sitting at the kitchen table is not conducive to making out. We should watch a game and lie on the couch."

They sat on the couch and then Nick started laughing. "Hell, I want to do it...but I'm so...not scared, because I'm not scared...but it's like the first ever date I had when I hoped to get to second base with Cindy-Lou Metcalfe..."

"Okay. We have breasts and I don't know about you but mine are quite sensitive when I'm aroused."

Nick swallowed hard. This was Gil talking about details. On the other hand he was being matter-of-fact...just like he was when he was at the lab. It was a good approach so he decided to share right back at him...

"Yeah...my nipples get real hard and I like to have them..." Although it was, perhaps, a step too far too quickly.

"I don't know when, or even if, we'll get to second base but we know something intimate about each other now."

Nick scooted up the couch and leaned on Gil who slipped his arm around his shoulders and pulled him a little more towards him. Nick suddenly felt okay. This was comfortable. This was really okay.

They found an old game they both wanted to watch and stayed on the couch and cuddled for about an hour. Gil would occasionally run his hand along Nick's arm and Nick leaned his one arm on Gil's thigh and was instantly surprised to find it rock hard...if Gil did carry excess weight it wasn't on his legs, nor on his arms. Gil appeared to be a physically strong man. And the thought of that made Nick smile and feel even more relaxed. Gil was strong enough to take care of him and he really liked that idea...

They really didn't do much making out but seemed to gravitate to cuddling. Nick enjoyed it because it some strange way he felt safe. Like he didn't have to make decisions about what to do and where they were heading; and he could rely on Gil to take the right action. Gil liked it because although they were taking it very slowly they were definitely heading in the right direction and he was positive that Nick was becoming far more relaxed about it...as if there were familiarising themselves with each other.

They always hugged when they came in from work and they started kissing after about two weeks. Nothing too passionate...but kisses nonetheless.

One night they were tidying up after dinner...it was Nick's night off...and Gil suddenly stopped what he was doing and looked at Nick...raising an eyebrow quizzically.

"I just thought, why didn't you start sleeping with me? I've got the water bed which is far better than your bed."

"Yes, just that. We sit together most days and it would be an extension of that. Nothing more."

"Fine. Don't worry." But Gil was worried; he couldn't help it. They hadn't really progressed...or perhaps he was trying to rush things. Nick had seemed very relaxed about it all and had even instigated the kissing. The problem with kissing was that Gil was getting erections and he didn't want to scare off Nick...he didn't know if Nick was also getting hard and he spent time trying to make sure Nick didn't feel his hard-on and then get spooked by it. He was happy but he was also frustrated. He was masturbating far more than he'd done for many years. He hadn't spoken to Nick about it at all...again for fear of pushing a too much, too soon. He had to admit it was a bit of a minefield. No...not a bit of a minefield, but the whole fucking State of Nevada littered with mines.

He sighed...it didn't matter...if he gently eased Nick in the right direction maybe one day...just maybe... It was a fucking good thing he was a patient man...

Nick was happy with the speed of things since he felt relaxed and not pressurised into doing anything and that suited him just fine.

It was his next weekend off after Bryce with Eli and they'd driven out really early to the Grand Canyon to hike with the dogs. They'd taken some provisions so could rest up and have a snack and drink and they were all sitting in the shade of an over-hanging rock.

Nick looked at Gil who was leaning against the rock with his eyes closed...he knew he wasn't asleep.

Gil didn't open his eyes but Nick saw him smile. "Personally? Yes, I do." He chuckled. "But I want you to feel comfortable with what's going on so your speed is my speed."

"I think I'm getting better...I am more relaxed...and I feel good about us...it's just..."

"...it's just that it still scares the shit out of you." It wasn't a question it was a statement.

"No. No. It doesn't...it...I can't explain it. I want to move this forward..." He stopped talking and Gil was expecting him to say more but he was suddenly aware that Nick was leaning right into him and he smiled at Gil and kissed him... In public...Gil thought; although there was no public around...he qualified his thought but then something else struck him and he stopped thinking.

Nick was kissing him. Really kissing him and...Gil moaned into the kiss because Nick's tongue met his own inside his mouth and the kiss took on a whole new meaning. Mid-morning, propped up by a rock in the Grand Canyon Nick and Gil made out...properly...for the very first time.

Neither man took any notice of the hard surface beneath and behind them; Nick twisted around and straddled Gil without losing contact in the kiss. Gil's hands drifted up and down Nick's back but ultimately came to rest on Nick's ass for the very first time. And still they kissed.

It must have been for a couple of minutes but Nick pulled away to get his breath.

"Yeah, me too. First time...I mean not the first time I've been hard with you...but the first time I've been rock hard." Gil was anticipating something but he didn't know what but what he got was Nick moving back to his original position beside him. But Nick some grinned. "I'm not doing anything out here...man, someone might come by...and I don't care if you're a guy or a gal...I ain't doing it in public."

"Okay. Come on." Nick used his new found agility from his Pilates exercises to spring to his feet and then help Gil. When they were standing facing each other the dogs were up and by their sides in a nanosecond. "Home boys...and Belle."

Nick was driving and after a few minutes on the road Gil dropped his hand over the centre console of the truck and let it rest on Nick's thigh. Nick dropped his own hand for a few moments to cover Gil's. It was okay...

Nick had to concentrate on the driving so his hard-on had faded away but Gil was increasingly uncomfortable as his persistent hard-on made its presence known. It was taking all of his will power not to touch himself and not to fidget in his seat... His goal was surely within his reach. He hoped with all his heart...he would have prayed but thought that would be hypocritical.

At home the dogs found their favourite shady spots in the yard and Gil, desperate as he was waiting for Nick, waited for him to make the next move.

He did. In the kitchen where he'd first kissed Gil he took the initiative again and moments later they were lost in the passion of their first sexual encounter. It was Gil who was caressing Nick's body and Nick was happy...but Gil pulled back.

"Nick I want this and I'm going to suggest something...see what you think..." His voice was husky and he took a deep breath. "...I want to give you pleasure and I'll be quite happy...no, not quite happy...I'll be extremely ecstatic to blow...you. You don't have to return the favour and if you don't want me to..."

"...you don't have to...remember you've got to familiarise yourself with an entirely new set of dynamics..."

"...not that new...let's face it I probably know more about myself as a guy than I do about a woman."

"See how it goes." Gil pulled Nick back and continued kissing him for some minutes and then started on his neck and then let his hand wonder to Nick's nipples through his shirt. Nick was with him and enjoying it...it was finally happening.

When Gil grasped Nick's erection through his jeans Nick gasped and thrust into the hand. Gil's heart was racing not from just the sexual excitement but from Nick's responses.

It was happening... It was happening...that's all he could keep repeating to himself.

Gil pushed Nick against the counter and got to his knees in front of him. He unzipped Nick's jeans and pushed aside his underwear and was then holding Nick's erection in his hands. A handsome penis stretched to capacity. He glanced up at Nick who was looking down at Gil with lustful eyes. Gil stroked the velvety skin and then started to suck the erection...

Nick was lying on the couch with his head in Gil's lap. Nick had exploded down Gil's throat and had been more than happy to be sucked off. Gil's own relief had come from him pumping himself a few times in his pants just after Nick had come.

Gil thought that his first attempt at fellatio was pretty lame. But Nick was laughing at Gil berating himself.

"Man? Don't you know that a mouth and a penis cannot go wrong...well unless teeth are involved. It was the best blow job I've ever had...at least you knew what to do and wanted to do it...the women, you know, that have done it anyway, weren't that good. Nor that keen..."

Gil brushed his fingers through Nick's short hair....or really it was more like scraping them across his scalp since his hair was so short. They'd showered and were relaxed. He could still feel Nick's hands and fingers in his own head as Nick had climaxed. It would be a feeling that would stay with him for a long time.

"You know I can't believe I've done it. But out in the canyon while we were hiking I was thinking about it and how patient and good you've been with me as it all sunk in...but it's what I've wanted, probably since that time in Bryce, you know when I kissed you that once...and then never spoke about it again. You think I've got verbal diarrhoea? I can't stop talking." He looked up at Gil who was smiling down at him.

"I think you're excited because deep down you didn't know whether or not you would be able to do it, and now you think you can."

"I think you're right but I haven't done much have I? I let you blow me and I never even touched you."

They watched a game and Nick calmed down and they decided to take their dogs for a walk before bed. They didn't go far but Belle and Sam were as appreciative as ever.

When they got back in they were locking up and getting ready for bed and Gil asked the question he'd asked before.

When Nick was undressing and thinking about it he stopped in the middle of taking off his pants...what the fuck? Why was he stalling about sleeping together? He'd let Gil blow him...and it was great. Okay he might not be ready to reciprocate but he was as comfortable as he'd ever been with Gil. He finished undressing and then had a quick wash and cleaned his teeth. With his toothbrush stuck in his mouth he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

He put on his sleep pants and tee. Sam was settled on his vet bed on the floor. He normally started off on his bed and then gravitated, sometime in the night, to Nick's bed and most nights, unless they got too hot, they slept together on Nick's bed. Funnily enough Nick never slept on Sam's bed...

"Come on Sam, a change of plan." Sam got up and looked at Nick with his head on one side and then looked almost alarmed when Nick picked up his bed from the floor. "Don't panic. You get to sleep with Belle?" Sam's head again twisted to one side...Nick thought he looked as if he was thinking his master was mad. Maybe he was, but he was past caring.

Nick walked in and Gil looked up from the bed where he was propped up on pillows reading a book. Belle was at the bottom of the bed and she looked up too and then threw her head down again. It was only Nick and Sam...

Nick didn't speak and neither did Gil. Nick threw Sam's vet bed onto the floor and pointed to it and Sam looked at it and then at Nick and then at the bed where Gil and Belle lay but decided he would play nice, at least for the time being, and got onto the vet bed and curled up.

Nick got into bed beside Gil and still neither man had spoken; Nick settled down on his side facing Gil, pulled the blankets around his neck and he closed his eyes. Gil remained propped up beside him... The room was quiet and suddenly Nick spoke, without opening his eyes.

It took another three weeks before Nick touched Gil's erection. It took another two weeks before he performed fellatio on Gil. Gil had swallowed from the beginning but Nick spit...until he forgot to and swallowed which was on his fourth time.

Nick didn't think he would ever be able to have anal sex. Gil had, of course, already researched the subject and declared that it was not a prerequisite for a loving relationship. Getting on for fifty percent of gay couples, he declared, never had anal intercourse. Gil wasn't in the least bothered either way...it would have been an experience but he had more than he'd ever hoped for.

"We are two men in a relationship and we have sex...so I guess we count as gay."

"I guess we do, you're right. I don't think of you as my gay lover I think of you as...Gil. I do love you though so gay it is." He grinned and Gil shook his head.

They didn't tell anyone about their relationship. No one ever asked them about it and it just never occurred to them to mention it... Most people just assumed they were two bachelors who'd become friends and found it convenient to live together...which was in fact, the truth, but with a side of sex.

Sara suspected when she occasionally dropped by for a meal; she was puzzled by their closeness but she assumed that since she knew that Gil was solidly heterosexual and she was sure that Nick was too...it was just her overheated imagination.

Eli. When he slept over some weekends or during the school vacation he knew that they slept together in the big water bed but in his innocence he attached no special significance to it. If he woke up early and they were still in bed he would slip in there with them...although it was a tight squeeze with two grown-ups and two dogs!

And Heather Kessler. Gil received a letter from her a year or more after his own had been sent to her. It was full of apologies and, as he'd guessed, full of her own guilt in their indiscretion. She came to dinner and immediately knew the status of Gil and Nick's relationship. It really was of no consequence to any of them.

Although the sex was great and they were both physically fulfilled the main reason for their happy and steady relationship was because they were, first and foremost, the very best of friends. And it never crossed anyone's mind that they were anything but friends... Everyone missed, entirely, the benefits of their friendship...