Title: Rip in Heaven
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Table: 7, 12_stories
Prompt: 8, Forgiveness Author's Note: Continuation of I Need To Know.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

When Greg didn't say anything, Ryan fished his keys out of his pocket and glanced around the office; he didn't see anything that either of them needed to take home with them tonight, so they could leave. He'd drive Greg home, then pack his things up and leave.

He could always go to a hotel until he decided what to do about the apartment next to Greg's, he told himself, cursing the situation he'd found himself thrown into. He'd have to tell the rental property that he'd decided not to move in, after all.

And then what? He would have to keep working with Greg until a transfer came through; maybe it would just be easier to move to day shift. At least then if he ended up having to pull a double, he wouldn't find himself working nights and being around Greg.

The other man slowly got to his feet and turned to open the door, shoving his hands into his pockets and trudging down the hall in front of Ryan. Not many people saw them, but the ones who did threw them both curious looks; this was the first time they'd left the building like this.

Ryan was silent as he unlocked the car doors, sliding into the driver's seat and fastening his seat belt before he turned the key in the ignition. Greg was equally silent beside him, not offering any words until Ryan had turned out into the steady stream of traffic.

"Ryan, I didn't kiss her back," he whispered, his voice barely audible above the hum of traffic. "She was the one who grabbed me. I don't want her, I swear. I don't want anything to do with her. She keeps that crap up all the time, and I guess she decided to take it further today."

Ryan didn't answer; he could feel Greg's gaze on him, pleading, begging him to understand. And a part of him wanted to, but it still felt as though Greg didn't care what that slut had done, that he wanted to make everyone at the lab believe he was something he wasn't.

Straight and available, Ryan told himself bitterly. The available part was certainly true now -- but he was sure that no matter how hard Greg tried, how many women he kissed or even had sex with in the future, he would never be happy pretending to be a straight man.

Neither of them said anything as Ryan pulled the car into a parking space, getting out and slamming the door shut. He headed for the front door of Greg's apartment, then stood back, waiting for the other man to open the door and let him in.

Wolfie jumped on him the moment he entered the apartment, bringing reluctant smile to his face. He would miss the little guy, he thought with a pang, ruffling the puppy's fur. He wouldn't be around to see how big Wolfie got when he was full-grown. He'd been looking forward to that.

He had been looking forward to so much with Greg, he thought, his heart feeling as though it had twisted itself into a knot again. He and Greg and Wolfie had felt like a family, one that he'd thought he would never be able to have. And now, all of that was gone.

Ryan headed for the bedroom, taking one of his two suitcases down from the top of the closet and starting to fold clothes into it. He had no idea how long he worked at getting that done, all the while seeing that bitch kissing Greg in his mind's eye.

When he returned to the living room, carrying the suitcase, Greg was curled into a corner of the couch, knees drawn up to his chest, looking as though he'd been quietly crying all the time that Ryan had been in the bedroom. He looked up surprise, dark eyes widening.

"Wh-what are you doing?" he whispered, the last word catching in his throat. "Y-you're leaving?" He reached out a hand towards Ryan; the other man ignored the gesture, heading for the door and putting his suitcase down beside it before going back to the bedroom.

He filled his second suitcase with the rest of his clothes, wondering if he should go out to get a few boxes to put his few belongings in. Most of his things were still in storage; he and Greg had decided to leave them there until he'd settled into his new apartment.

He needed a drink. He couldn't simply leave without talking to Greg, telling him what he was planning to do; he owed his former lover that much. But he couldn't do it without having a stiff drink first; he needed to work up the courage to walk out without so much as a backward glance.

Ryan looked around their bedroom, tears filling his eyes. He had thought they had made a little piece of heaven here, stealing a part of paradise for their very own. But now there was a rip in heaven, one that he didn't think could possibly be repaired.

He didn't go back into the living room; instead, he headed for the kitchen, taking down the bottle of vodka that they always kept in the cabinet, and pouring himself a drink. He tossed it back, knowing that it wasn't going to make much of a dent -- at least, not the first one.

Before he could pour another drink, he felt Greg's arms sliding around his waist from behind; he hadn't heard the other man come into the room. He had been so sunk into his own misery that he hadn't been able to focus on anything else.

"Please, Ryan," Greg whispered, his voice breaking. "Please forgive me. Whatever you think I've done, I promise I won't do it again. I won't look at anybody else. I won't talk to anybody else. I'll tell her to leave me alone. Please. Please. Just don't leave me."

Ryan turned slowly within the circle of Greg's arms to look at him -- and he was sure that he could feel his heart breaking all over again at the look on Greg's face. He had never seen such devastation in anyone's eyes; it was as though something in Greg had died.

His eyes were red and puffy from crying, his lips swollen, his nose red -- and to Ryan, he had never looked so beautiful. This was what he was leaving; this was what he was throwing away in anger over something that Greg had sworn wasn't his fault.

How could he walk out on this? How could he leave Greg and know that neither of them would ever be the same again? How could he leave the one person he had ever loved -- the only person he would ever love? It was impossible. Leaving wasn't an option.

"Oh, baby." His words were swallowed by Greg's mouth as their lips met, the kiss gentle and sweet, Ryan tasting the salt of Greg's tears on his skin. He slid his arms around Greg's slim waist, pulling him close, running a hand up his back to tangle his fingers in the young man's hair.

Greg was leaning against him, sobbing now as though he would never stop. Ryan pressed his face against Greg's hair, unable to hold back his own tears. His arms tightened around Greg, hands stroking his back, trying to stop the other man's trembling.

"It's okay, baby," he whispered, his heart in his words. "I forgive you, Greg. I forgive you. It's not your fault. I know it's not. I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry." Words failed him; all he could do was hold Greg close, and hope that his forgiveness was accepted.

His bond with Greg wasn't gone. It hadn't dissipated. It was still there, as strong as ever -- and maybe even stronger for the brief time that they had thought they'd lost each other. Greg still loved him -- and he still loved Greg, more than he ever had.

Greg was everything to him. Everything. The heaven that they had made here was still intact; they could sew up that rip until it was as though it had never existed. They might always remember it, but it wouldn't tear them apart. Rather, it would be a testament to their strength.

Ryan stroked a hand through Greg's hair, waiting for the other man to lift his face so that he could look into those beautiful dark eyes. When he did, their gazes met and locked; Ryan was sure that he was looking into his future, a future that he would walk into with this man by his side.

"Forgive me, baby," he whispered, his gaze not leaving Greg's. "Forgive me for ever doubting you. I love you, Greg. I thought I could leave, but I can't. You're too much a part of me. You're my heaven. You're all I want, and all I need. I'm not going anywhere."

Greg nodded, taking a deep, sobbing breath and choking slightly. Ryan stroked his back again, holding him close, murmuring into his ear. He wasn't sure of all that he said, but he knew that Greg's heart would understand each and every word and the feelings behind them.

Slowly, without relinquishing their hold on each other, the two of them made their way back into the living room, sitting down on the couch. Ryan didn't want to let Greg go; he couldn't bear to take his arms from around his boyfriend, to feel that Greg was out of his embrace.

Wolfie came up to the couch, resting his head on Ryan's leg and looking at them both hopefully. "Hey, I think somebody needs to go for their morning walk," he said softly, reaching out to ruffle the puppy's fur. "Let's take him out, okay? We can talk when we get back."

Greg nodded, giving him a watery smile. The two of them got up from the couch, getting Wolfie's leash and putting in on his collar. Ryan slipped an arm around his boyfriend's waist as they stepped out of the front door, not caring who might see them together.

Anybody who couldn't accept the fact that he and Greg were a couple, and that they loved each other, could rot in hell, he thought resentfully. Those stupid rules that the department had about CSIs dating each other was a big part of what had caused this problem.

They'd managed to repair the rip in their heaven, and now they would have to work at making sure that it was kept sewn up tightly. He wouldn't jump to conclusions again, Ryan told himself. Not now that he knew the kind of heartache they could lead to -- a heartache that he never wanted to face.

***

Next story in series - The Nearness of You.