Previous part of Thoughtless Dreaming.

***

Chapter 11 – Catherine's POV

"You think they'll figure anything out?"
Sara smirks as we slow down for a red light.
"After the way we've been behaving over the past few weeks? I don't think so. Everyone knows you were too upset to drive home. They'll just think I drove you home then picked you up."
"I guess."

The rest of the drive is spent in a comfortable silence. To be honest, I wouldn't mind if the rest of the team did figure anything out. I'd shout if from the rooftops if I thought Sara wouldn't mind. But she would. Not because she's ashamed of our relationship, but because she likes to keep her private life private. As long as she's happy, I'm happy, so for now our relationship is a secret.
As we pull up outside the lab, my cell begins to ring. Its Grissom.

"Why is he calling me now? Shift starts in half an hour, he must know I'm going to be at the lab soon."
"If you answer it, you'll find out," Sara teases, so I stick my tongue out at her and answer the phone.

"What's up Grissom? I'm outside the lab now so we can just talk in-"
"Cath, I'm not at the lab."
"Oh. Crime scene? Why are you calling me then? Me and Sara already have a case."
"I know. That's why I'm calling."
"But.." I freeze. Oh god.
"You've found another victim."
"Correct. You need to get over here."
He gives me the address and hangs up.

We sit in silence for a moment, then Sara voices my fears.
"Do you think it's a serial?"
I sigh heavily.
"Lets go find out."

Sara's POV

Another dank alley. Another blonde haired blue eyed girl, raped then strangled. The look on Catherine's face when we see her breaks my heart, and I just want to hug her, but we've got a job to do.

"How long has she been dead David?" I ask, dreading the answer.
"Judging from the rigor, or lack of it, and the liver temp, I'd say she's only been dead three to four hours."
"I'm guessing that's the same as last night's victim?" Grissom asks.
Catherine and I nod.
"Alright, this guess has suddenly got a lot more serious. Greg and I have no case, so we'll be joining you. Sara, call the lab and have Greg check missing persons. Cath-"
"I've got to check on Lindsey."
The look of panic on her face is evident as she dials her sisters number.

"Nance, is Lindsey alright?"
She relaxes.
"No, I don't really have time to give details right now, but can you keep a close eye on her. Don't let her leave the house on her own, and can you drop her off and pick her up from school again? I'll be pulling a double tonight."
The look on her face grows irritated.
"I know I wasn't there today, but I couldn't be. This case is-"
Now she just looks weary.
"Alright, I will. Give Linds a kiss for me. Yeah, take care of yourself too. Night."
She turns to Grissom.

"Can we get Lindsey a police escort?"
He looks annoyed.
"Catherine, don't you think you're over reacting a little? There's probably hundreds of blonde haired, blue eyed teenage girls in Vegas, and I doubt-"
"The victims aren't just 'blonde haired, blue eyed teenage girls'! They look like Lindsey!"
I actually agree with her, but Grissom ignores her.
"As I was saying, I doubt the killer even knows you have a daughter, and besides, giving her a police escort will just draw attention to her. What I suggest is that she stays with your sister until we crack this case. The killer could be watching us, so Lindsey would probably be safer with your sister."
I cut in.
"Yes, there probably are lots of girls who are potential victims for this killer Grissom, but Lindsey is the only one who's mother is a CSI working this case, which makes her a more likely choice for the killer."
Catherine nods. Clearly, this is what she was thinking too.
"That's why I suggested Lindsey stays with Catherine's sister for now. But, if you're both that concerned, I could just take Catherine off the case."
We both glare at him.
"And what will that solve Grissom? If the killer is watching us, he'll already have seen me. You can't take me off this case Grissom."
"Well if you want to stay on this case, I suggest you stop arguing with me and start working the scene."

Catherine glares at him, but she obviously realises she's fighting a losing battle. She goes off to process the victim. I glare at Grissom but he doesn't notice. I know he's thinking logically, but if anything happens to Lindsey…I try not to think about it. I need a clear head if I want to help catch this killer. I go off to find a quieter spot to call Greg.

Anonymous POV

Well, until now, I didn't know the attractive CSI had a daughter. I was watching the ladies work yesterday, but they didn't know it, as I was very well hidden. Anyway, the CSI has a daughter, one that sounds like my type of girl. I'll have to check her out. I hope she's as feisty as her mother seems, I enjoy a challenge. A CSI's daughter…now that would be an accomplishment. Maybe I'll go for her mother afterwards. She's not in the age group that I normally go for, but she is an attractive woman, besides, the only thing better than taking a CSI's daughter would be taking a CSI. I slip away into the dark. Time to make plans for my next challenge.

***

Chapter 12 – Sara's POV

Unlike the first victim, we are able to identify the next victim fairly quickly – her name is Alicia Roberts and she's fourteen. She went missing two weeks ago from her home in Henderson. Although her parents reported her missing, it looked like she'd run away – some of her personal items such as her nightclothes, hairbrush and toothbrush were missing, as well as some of her clothes. She'd been in a relationship with an older boy, and her parents thought she'd run off with him. They'd never actually met the guy, but she'd told them he was eighteen and in love with her. They disapproved and tried to stop her seeing him, so when she disappeared, they assumed they'd gone off together.
It was heartbreaking watching her parents identify her body. They'd been worried, but convinced she was alive, up until she'd been missing two weeks, but only died a few hours ago, that gives us some hope for the next victim. I know that's assuming there will be a next victim, but I've seen the way serial killers work, and this guy isn't going to stop here. He's proud of what he's done, and he wants his 'work' to be on display. If he felt any remorse, he would have hidden the 've searched the missing persons data base to check for any more victims. I'm relieved to say there's none so far, but two have showed up twenty four hours apart, god knows how many more girls he could have snatched.I'm a little concerned about Catherine, but I understand her concern. She's been quiet tonight, especially after she had to phone and explain to Lindsey why she can't be around her for now. She's shutting me out, but not deliberately. She's just scared. We all the time I clock out, it's 2 in the afternoon and I'm exhausted. I couldn't find Catherine, I think she went back to the scene, while I went over both the victims' clothes, trying in vain to find some fibres or something the killer could have left behind. All in vain. This guy is a pro. He's cleaned up after himself immaculately.I drive home and don't even make it to bed. I slump down on the couch and fall asleep immediately. I'm woken all too quickly by the ringing of my cell phone. Looking at the clock, I groan. I've only been asleep two hours. I'm tempted to ignore it, but when I check the screen, I see it's Catherine. That's one call I can't ignore.

"Cath?"
Panic rises within me, she's sobbing and hysterical, and I can't understand a word she's understanding.
"Catherine? Talk to me Cath. What's wrong?"
I try desperately to make out the words, and when I eventually understand what she's saying, chills run down my spine.
"Sa-Sara...Lindsey's missing."

Lindsey's POV

It's dark, and I'm afraid. I don't know where I am. There's another girl with me, but when I try to talk to her, she just cries. My mum told me I was in danger, but I didn't listen. She said she couldn't see me for a few days, that being around her could put me at risk. She told me not to go off on my own under any at all and that I had to stay with Aunt Nancy. I didn't believe her though. She's been working so much lately, I barely see her these days. So I had enough. I know how much trouble I got in for hitchhiking before, but I know Aunt Nancy wouldn't have taken me to mum when mum had told her not to. So, after school, I left the back way and sneaked away to the highway. A van pulled up straight away and the guy seemed nice so I got in and told him where I wanted to go. I don't know why I was so stupid. Then I can't remember anything at all, up until now.I should have listened to mum, but I just wanted to see her. I didn't believe her and I should have. I begin to cry. I'm reminded of when I was trapped in that car, the night dad died. I felt this scared then, because I couldn't get out. I can't get out now either.
"Mum…"
Maybe if I shout loud enough, she'll be able to hear me…

Catherine's POV

I'm hiding in the bathroom at the lab. I've searched for Linds, called all of her friends, even my mother and Sam. Nothing.
Twenty four hours. My baby's been missing twenty four hours. Nancy was five minutes late picking her up, but she was gone. No one had seen her leave, but she was seen by a witness getting into the van on the entrance to the highway. The witness, who has NO children 'wasn't concerned'. She said it seemed like Lindsey knew the guy. I'd like to think it was some other girl, not my baby. I'd like to think that Lindsey wouldn't be stupid enough to get into a van with a stranger, especially after I told her she could be a victim. But I know in my heart that this isn't a coincidence. That monster has my little girl, and we're no closer to catching him than we were before. All we know is the type of girl he goes for, and that he drives a white transit. We don't even know the licence plate. I can't do this. I can't think, I can't eat, I can't sleep. Everyone's been wonderful, especially Sara and Warrick. They've all worked endlessly too, there's the same kind of atmosphere here there was when Nick went missing. Everyone pulls together when it's one of their own. I wish I could express my gratitude, but I can't. I can't think about anything at all. All I can think about is my baby alone with this monster. My cell phones ringing. I've been in here a long time. I snatch it from my purse, and don't bother asking who it is.

"Have you got any news?"
There's silence on the end of the phone, then Brass clears his throat.
"No identification as of yet, but another body's been called in. I'm on my way to the scene now."

The phone falls from my hand. It can't be her. It can't be.

***

Chapter 13 – Lindsay's POV

The other girl is gone.
I had to listen as he…I can't even think about it. I don't know what was worse – the screams, or the silence that followed. He took her body, but I don't know what he did with it. I'm just grateful he didn't leave it with hasn't said a word to me since he picked me up. I'm glad, but now the other girl is gone….I'll just focus on my mum. I know she won't leave me here. I have to focus on her, because the other option is too awful. What if she's too late to save me?

Sara's POV

It wasn't Lindsay, thank god. It was another innocent girl, same looks, same COD, similar location to the other two.
We found out something that's sickening, but also somewhat of a relief. In all three of the victims, rape occurred post mortem.
Although, it makes me sick to think that he disrespected and violated their bodies, at least they weren't alive to suffer that too.
It also means it won't have happened to Lindsay, which is the biggest relief of all.
"I got something!"
We all look up at Nicks shout. Naturally, Catherine is the first to make it over to him. None of us thought it was a good idea to let her come with us, she's in enough of a state as it is, but nothing could have kept her away.
"What is it?"
Nick smiles triumphantly.
"A hair, dark. It may have a skin tag. I'll get it back to the lab now and have Greg process it ASAP."

Catherine's POV

We got an address. We're driving there now.
Howard Green, 36. Convicted of burglary in 1999.
Brass thinks Green is an attention seeker, so he started off small and worked his way up.
I don't know how to feel. I don't feel relieved. Anything could have happened. Lindsay could already be dead.
We pull up outside the desolate house, a building standing alone, just out of Vegas on the road to the desert.
SWOT surrounds it.
Suddenly I find it hard to breathe.
My daughter could be in there.
Almost without realising, I've left the car and I'm running towards the house, where I join Brass, Sofia and some other officers on the front porch.
"Catherine, get back!" Brass hisses, but I shake my head.

He turns his back on me, then turns back to the front door and bangs on it.
"Howard Green, this is the LVPD. I suggest you open the door immediately."
Silence. Brass knocks again.
"Howard, I'll give you one more chance to answer this door before we force entry."
Then there's a scream from inside and someone speaks.
"Lower your weapons and step away from the front door."

Green's POV

I'm holding the girl by the back of the neck with a gun against her temple as I open the front door. I'm afraid, but I'm also delighted when I see the number of people outside.
There must be most of the LVPD here, plus many CSI's, including the girls mother.
Her face is expressionless, but anger flares up in her eyes as they meet mine. I smile and she takes a step forward, before being dragged back by a blonde police officer.
Lindsay sees her mother and begins to scream. I've never seen her and her mother in the same place before, I can see where she gets her looks from.
The girl's screams are music to my ears, but they're making it difficult me to focus.
I press the gun harder against her temple.

"If you keep your mouth shut, you may just get out of this unharmed, for now at least."
Her screams die down to quiet sobs.
A police officer steps forward.

"Howard Green, I'm Captain Jim Brass of the LVPD. Maybe we could negotiate a deal…"
I laugh.
"Captain Brass, I don't need a deal. I just need my car and a guarantee that your officers will not pursue me too quickly after I depart. If I feel threatened at any time, I will shoot the girl. Now step back."
I take a step forward and the officers step back. As I'm making my way to my car, the girls mother breaks free of the officers grasp.

"Howard, please…"
She's begging. I love it when they beg. In actual fact, she appeals to more right now than her daughter does. I smile at her again.
"CSI Willows?"
She takes a step closer, and I push the gun harder against her daughters head. I'm about halfway to my car now.
"I'm not armed Howard, I promise. I have a proposition for you."
"You're propositioning me Ms Willows?"
"Yes. Take me instead."

She takes another step towards me.
"I know you seek fame Howard. Yes, killing my daughter could make you more famous, but killing a CSI? That would give you a huge amount of fame."

I stop walking. I like this plan. If I take her, kill her, then escape, my name would be remembered by people for years. It could be a trap though. She's already said she isn't armed, but I need to know.
"Prove to me you aren't armed."
Once I'm satisfied she isn't, I summon her.
"Come over to me, but slowly. Any false moves, and I'll shoot the girl."
She does as she's told. As soon as she reaches me, I shove the girl away quickly and press the gun against her mothers head.
I turn to the police officers.

"If you make any kind of move towards me, she's dead. As I said before, if I feel threatened, I'll shoot."

***

Chapter 14 – Sara's POV

I'm holding Lindsay to me, just listening to her 're in the break room back at the lab as everyone buzzes around us, trying to find Catherine.
Catherine…
I feel empty, completely hollow.
I want to get up and help everyone get her back, but I can't. Besides, Lindsay needs someone.
I'm not a people person, and I'm emotionally and socially inept, but right now I'd give Lindsay the world if I could.
She's all I've got of Catherine right now.
I'm crying now, and it scares me more than ever.
I feel so much for her, and I don't think I could cope if anything happens to her.
It's not fair, we've been through so much, and when we finally get together, I'm cheated of her again.
Lindsay leans back, and looks at me.
Although she's been crying, her voice is clear as she speaks.

"They'll find her, won't they? Just like you guys found me."
Its more of a statement than a question. I don't know if they'll find Catherine, but I can't bear to think that they won't.
"Of course they will Linds."
"You miss her as much as I do, don't you?"
I nod.
"Do I need to talk to the police officers yet?"
"Not if you aren't ready."
She wipes her eyes, and her determined expression reminds me so much of Catherine, I almost start to cry again.
"I'm ready."

I sit with her holding her hand the whole time as she gives her statement. She's amazing.
She doesn't cry and she's remembered every little detail.
The only time her voice falters is when she tells Brass about the other girl she was with.
The sick bastard killed her, right in front of Lindsay.
She's been through so much, yet she's still sitting here, her voice steady, telling us exactly what happened.
As we're leaving the interview room, Grissom stops me.

"You need to sleep."
I start to disagree, but he cuts me off.
"Sara, you've worked relentlessly. Go home. Do you want me to make arrangements for Lindsay?"
"No. I want to stay with Sara."
She grabs my hand again.
"Are you sure? You could go and stay with your aunt or your grandma; they both want to see you you know."
She shakes her head.
"I want to stay with you."
Grissom smiles.
"I guess it's decided then. Now go, both of you."

I drive her back to my apartment. We could go to her house, but it would be too difficult without Catherine there.
When we get back to mine, we both sit on the couch, Lindsay's head on my shoulder.
"Shall I order us a pizza?"
She nods eagerly, but her expression is scared and sad.
"He..he didn't feed me."

I wrap my arms around her.
"It's ok sweetie, you're safe now."
I order us pizza, and once it arrives, I put on a movie.
It's some stupid comedy, but I'm too tired to focus.
Once we've finished eating, I ask her if she's ready to sleep.

"Ready for bed Linds?"
She nods.
"Ok, you have my bed and I'll take the couch."
She frowns.
"I want to stay with you."
That's fine with me. Anything to make her feel safe again.
"Ok then, we'll both sleep in my bed, but I warn you, I kick in my sleep."
It's a weak attempt at a joke, but she giggles anyway.

I lend her some pyjamas as she hasn't bought anything to wear. They're much too big and we laugh about it.
She snuggles against me, and falls asleep straight away.
I'm tearful again. She's so young, yet she's been through so much already.
Her parents divorce, Eddie's death, now this…
I'll help her get through this, whatever the outcome.
In a way, helping her helps me.
It gives me something to take my mind off Catherine.

***

Chapter 15 – Catherine's POV

The bastard drugged me so I can't speak or open my eyes, let alone move. It must have been in the water he gave me.
We'd been driving for two hours and I was gasping for a drink, so I didn't think.
Then again, if I don't take anything he gives me, I'll die, so it's a risk I'll have to take. I don't know if he plans on killing me yet. He hasn't talked to me since he took me, and he's not here now, so I assume he's planning something.
The cabin door opens.
I attempt to turn round, but the drugs prevent me.
I hear him cross the cabin.

"So it's just you and me now CSI Willows."
He must be sat right next to me. I want to make some snappy retort, but I can't even do that. Now he's laughing at me.
You won't be able to talk for another couple of hours. The tranquiliser will see to that."

Suddenly I feel very tired. I might as well sleep, I doubt he'll do anything while I'm unconscious; it's not dramatic enough for him.
For now, his need for glory is all that guarantees my safety.

Sara's POV

It's 3am and no sign of her. She's been gone 32 hours now. Lindsay is with Nancy, who came and picked her up this morning. I made a promise to Lindsay this morning.
We were waiting outside my apartment for Nancy. Linds had been quiet this morning, but I didn't push her to talk.

"Sara?"
"What's up Linds?"
"When we get mum back, can I still come and stay with you?"
I give her a hug.
"I'll always be here for you Linds, whatever happens."
"You promise?"
"I promise."

Now I'm going through Green's file, trying to find some kind of lead. Its useless, he'll have gone somewhere he knows no one will find him. But then again, maybe not. If he's going to kill Catherine, he needs fame, he needs drama. I just wish I knew what he was planning.
I miss Catherine so much. The lab feels empty without her here. I feel empty without her here.
I said before I don't want to be in love. I don't have a choice. I'm in love with Catherine. What's terrible is that it took something like this to make me face up to that.
I wish we'd had more time together. Then again, if we had, this would probably be harder, especially if she dies.
I know she's not dead. Not because I'm psychic or anything, but because this killer wants fame. It would have to be dramatic. Something big, explosive.
I only hope he hasn't violated her in any other way.
Nick puts his head round the door.

"Sara? Brass has got something."

Catherine's POV

When I wake, it's dark outside. I'm in a sitting position, my feet on the floor, my back pressed against the hard wood of a chair.
He knew once I woke, the tranquilisers would have worn off so he'd have to restrain me, but why not just drug me while I slept?
I can't be bothered to think about it now. I don't think he's here.
It's too dark to see but I can't sense his presence in the room. Unless he's driven back into town, I have no idea where he could have gone. We're out in the middle of the desert, where the hell could he be?
Not that I'm complaining, obviously. I'd rather not spend time with him; I just hate not knowing what his plans are.
An attention seeker like him would be bound to tell me.
The cabin door opens again, and a torch light blinds me. He crosses the room and sits in a chair just behind me.

"You're more of a coward than I thought. You can't even look me in the face when you talk to me."
I feel a sharp pain across the side of my face. He's slapped me.
"How dare you talk to me like that? I hold your life in my hands."
"So why don't you just take it then?"
He laughs.
"I love your fire. You'll be a great loss for the crime lab."
"So you do still plan to kill me?"
"Of course. And I'll do it in style too."
"How is killing me in the middle of nowhere with no one watching or even knowing you've done it at all 'stylish'? It's cowardly, just like you."

I brace myself for another slap, but he doesn't move.
"Oh no, my plans are much bigger than that."
"So tell me, it's not like I'm going anywhere."
"I've left a trail, Miss Willows. They'll find you within the next twenty four hours."
"How many of those hours have I got left to live?"
"Once I set the timer, five."
"Timer?"
"For the explosives I've planted around the cabin."
"You're going to blow me up? That's a little impersonal. I had you pegged as a stab or strangle kind of guy."
"Usually, I am, but that's not nearly dramatic enough for this situation. You're a CSI in the second best crime lab in the country, and you're beautiful on top of that. Your death must be dramatic. Don't you think? Can you imagine how much people will mourn you? You'll become Vegas' post-mortem sweetheart, just like Julie Waters did. I watched you on the news during that case. I always thought you were spectacular, but I never imagined I'd be the one to take your life."
"How do you know they'll even be here for the explosion?"
"I don't, I'm hoping there will be an audience for my show, but I can't guarantee it. It'll still be dramatic though, whether they're here for the explosion or not."
"What if they show up before the bomb detonates?"
"I'm going to stick around, and I'll detonate it myself."
"You'll blow yourself up."
"Its set so if it's manually detonated, I'll have 30 seconds to escape."

His plan has many flaws, and it's incredibly over the top. But in a twisted way, I can see what he means about style. I can also see why he was talking about people mourning me. If people mourn me as much as he thinks, people will definitely remember my killer, so he'll be famous too, even more famous than me. Not that I care about fame of course, I care about life.
I can't believe I'm thinking of my death so rationally. I don't know if it's because thinking calmly stops me being afraid or because I don't believe I'm going to die. He's got up and is walking across the room.
He turns to me, and I can see him smile in the torch light.

"It's time."

He presses a button in front of him, and seven luminous red digits light up in front of me - 5:00:00. He's set the timer.
All I can do is hope they make it here in time.

***

Chapter 16 – Sara's POV

3:15:30

We're on the edge of the desert now. The case was all over the news, with a description of Green and his car, and several people called in to say they'd seen him driving past out towards the desert. We've found tyre tracks that match his car, so now we at least know what direction he's driven in.
But, the desert is huge, how the hell are we supposed to find him?
By the time we reach him, we could be too late.
Nick comes over to join me.

"How are supposed to find them? There's just too big an area to search."
I shake my head, despair beginning to set in.
Nick gazes skyward, then a smile spreads across his face.
"I can't believe we didn't think of it before."
"What? You got an idea of where they are?"
"No, but what about the search helicopter they've got out looking for Green's car? Now we know the direction he drove in, couldn't we send it in that direction?"
"Nick, that's brilliant! Then, the police helicopter could follow it, and arrest Green. It'll be much quicker than looking for them on foot or by car!"

We both run over to Brass.
I just hope this is enough, as it's all we've got.

Catherine's POV

2:58:08

Green's disappeared again. All I can do it sit in silence and watch as the numbers tick by all too quickly.
I'm trying to think positively, but I'm afraid. Before, I was so certain that I'd get out alive. But, there's no sign of anyone yet, and over two hours have passed. Two precious hours.
I think of Lindsay, and Sara.
I hope Lindsay understands why I did this, and I hope Sara isn't angry with me.
I just wish I'd had more time with her.
I close my eyes so I can't see the timer, in a way that's more frightening.
I don't want to die. I don't want my little girl to be an orphan.
I don't want Sara to find someone else.
I want to be there for both of them.
Lindsay needs me, and I think in a way, Sara does too. I try to untie my hands, but the ropes are too tight.
A tear drips down my cheek, then before I know it, I'm sobbing.
I'm scared, and I'm not ready for this.

Sara's POV

2:05:44

I watch as the three helicopters soar away into the distance.
Brass, Sofia and Grissom are in one, and a load of SWAT officers are with them. I wanted to go, but Brass and Grissom wouldn't allow it.
They seem to think it'll be dangerous.
Nick's pulling me towards the car, telling me we need to go.
I need to go with them, I need to find Catherine. I just need Catherine.
I close my eyes, hoping when I open them, Catherine will be safe in my arms and this nightmare will be over.
But when I open them, all I can see is a vast expanse of empty desert.
I wrench my arm out of Nicks grasp, and walk across to the SUV alone.
As we drive back to the lab, I pretend to sleep.
I can't think, let alone talk right now.
I just want Catherine back.

Catherine's POV

01:10:00

Green still hasn't appeared.
I think this is part of the torture, leaving me to wait this out alone.
If they don't make it in time, I have an hour and ten minutes to live. I'm hungry, thirsty, weak and tired.
I wonder if that noise in the distance has been there the whole time, or I've been so distracted, I haven't noticed it.
Hold on, it's getting closer.
I won't allow myself to get excited…it could just be..
It's a helicopter.
Tears of relief begin to fall down my cheeks, then Green appears in the doorway.

"Three helicopters, just for me! I wonder if they'll land. Once I know, I'm going to press this button just here. Then you'll have thirty seconds left before-"
"Shut up!" I scream.

I'm done with playing it cool with him. I don't care if he sees I'm upset. All I care about is believing they'll save me. It's like, as long as I believe they'll save me, they will. I just need to believe it .
Green looks shocked, and I almost laugh at the expression on his face.
He says something else, but I can't hear him because of the helicopters. I can see out of the door, and one is landing about 10 meters must have spotted his car. Suddenly, Green presses the button.
The numbers change.

00:30:00

Thirty seconds left.

***

Chapter 17 – Sara's POV

Still no word. I don't know if she's dead or alive.
Why haven't they communicated with us?
Why hasn't someone called me?
Oh yeah, because they don't know what Catherine and me meant to each other.
Not meant, mean.
I'm such a pessimist; I'm not used to things working out in my life.
Things were going so great between me and Cath, and then this happens.
What did I ever do to deserve this? What did I do to deserve any of the shit that's happened in my life?
So many questions, yet so few answers.
I dial Grissom's cell. Its off.
I dial Brass' number and just get the busy tone.
Resisting the urge to smash my cell to pieces, I begin pacing the break room until someone puts a hand on my shoulder.
I turn and meet Greg's friendly expression. But then I see the concern in his eyes for Catherine, and I know he's just as worried as everyone else.
He's grown up so much over the past few months, it's unbelievable.
He leads me over to the couch.

"I figured out who the mystery guy is."
I look up in surprise and irritation. How can he be joking around at a time like this?
"Greg, I can't believe you picked now to bring this up."
He ignores me and continues.
"It's Catherine, isn't it? Although I suppose I should have said mystery girl."
I'm speechless.
"H-how did you figure it out."
"Just, the way you've been acting on this case and stuff. I know your feelings for her go deep Sara, and I'm not here to mess about. I just thought maybe you'd need someone who really knows what's going on."
Something breaks inside of me and before I know it, I'm crying on Greg's shoulder. I'm just so tired of everything going wrong.

Catherine's POV

I struggle, desperately trying to free my hands. My eyes flick back to the timer.

00:22:00

I hear gunshots outside, and as if from nowhere, Grissom stands beside me.

"Grissom! The timer!"

He stares at it in shock for a split second, then begins working on the knot that's tying me to the chair. I hear shouting outside and try to take in every little noise, as these may be the last seconds of my life.
I feel the rope binding me to the chair loosen, then fall off.
Grissom stands and both of our eyes flick to the timer again.

00:10:00

In another split second, I'm suddenly out of the chair, and thrown over Grissoms shoulder.
He races out the cabin, yelling a warning to the surrounding officers to get away from the cabin.
I count the seconds down in my head and on three, I lift my head up so I can see the cabin. The officers have retreated, but one lone figure stands in front of it, framed by the door frame. He's been shot, bleeding from the arm, but he's got a huge smile on his face. He holds up his good arm as if to wave, and time stands still for a second, and I know Howard Green will never have the chance to terrorise people again.
Then the explosion rocks the earth and everything turns black.

Sara's POV

We reach the hospital just as the helicopter lands.
I want to rush forward as I see the doctors entering the helicopter, but Greg holds me back.
Five minutes pass, although it feels like five hours, then Grissom emerges from inside it, covered in dirt with a scratch marring the side of his face.
Breaking away from Greg, I rush towards him.

"Griss? What the hell happened? Is Catherine ok?"
He brushes his hair back in an exhausted manner.
"She's going to be fine. She's suffering from dehydration and minor cuts and bruises from where the explosion knocked us off our feet."
"Explosion?"
Greg has joined us now, looking horrified and curious.
"It's ok, no one was seriously hurt, other than Green. He blew himself up, along with the cabin."
"Cabin?"
I'm more confused than ever now. Grissom sighs.
"Lets find a seat, I'll explain everything."

***

Chapter 18 – Catherine's POV

Everything is white.
Why is everything white?
Ah, I'm in a hospital room.
My head is pounding and my body aches.
As I wake up, everything comes back to me.
Waiting, Grissom, the explosion…
I remember Green's expression as the cabin blew up.
Although he knew he was going to die, he was still triumphant. I know why he did it, but I'll never really be able to understand the way he thought.
Someone walks into the room and I try to sit up, but my muscles scream in protest so I just lay here.

"Don't try to move, god knows how long you were sat in that chair."
I groan.
"Too long."
Grissom smiles.
"I'm glad you're ok."
"I'm glad you showed up when you did. 10 seconds later and I'd be.."
"Just don't think about it, Cath. You're ok, and that's the important thing. I just came in to check how you were and say hi. But there's someone here to see you who's much more important than I am."

He stands up to leave again, and I manage to grab his arm.
"Gil…thank you."
He smiles.
"Well, I couldn't let you die, could I? Who'd deal with the lab politics and my paperwork?"
I laugh, and he leaves, just as someone else bursts into the room.

"Mom!"
Lindsay throws her arms around me.
"Baby, I'm so glad you're here. Are you ok?"
"I am now."
She looks up and I can see she's fighting back tears.
"I thought I'd lost you mom. I was so scared. And the worst thing was, if you'd died, it would have been all my fault."
She no longer fights the tears and sobs into my shoulder.
I hold her for a while, feeling tearful myself.
"Lindsay, although getting into that van probably tops every stupid thing you've ever done, it was my decision to give myself to Green. You're my daughter, and if it meant I had to die for you to live, there's no question. I love you, and I'd do anything to protect you, so don't even think about blaming yourself. Green was a very sick man, and if anything had happened to me, it would have been down to him. So you see honey, don't blame yourself, none of this was your fault."
"I love you mom."
"And I love you Linds."

She sits up, her tears finally dry.
"I think we should invite Sara over for dinner."
I'm secretly delighted, but intrigued as to what's brought this on.
"And why's that honey?"
"Once he took you, we went back to the lab and I couldn't stop crying. I was so scared and there was no one there for me, everyone was too busy trying to find you. Then Sara came and sat with me, and stayed with me till I was ready to talk to the police. She helped me feel ready to tell them what happened."
"He didn't…he didn't…"
I can't bear to say it, but Lindsay seems to know what I mean.
"He didn't sexually assault me mom. Anyway, once I was ready to talk to the police, Sara held my hand the whole time I gave my statement. And then she let me stay at her apartment, and even let me share her bed when I was too scared to sleep on my own. She was so nice, and made me feel so much better. And she said I could stay at her apartment whenever I wanted. In fact, she promised."
"That sounds just like Sara. You don't know where she is, do you?"
"No mom, I don't."

With that, she cuddles up to me again. I don't think she slept much last night, because her breathing evens out and she's asleep within minutes.
I stroke her hair absentmindedly, revelling in the fact that I'm here, with my daughter, and I'm alive.
I'm a little disappointed Sara isn't here though. It's wonderful to have Linds here, but if would have been perfect if Sara had been too.
I've slept loads already, but my eyes are closing.
Maybe Sara will be here later…

Sara's POV

Finally, I leave the lab.
With the press, and the case, and everything, I haven't had the chance to go and see Catherine.
I turn the radio up and sing along as I drive to Desert Palms.
I've gone through so many emotions the past 48 hours…
Anger, fear, sadness.
Now, I'm just unbelievably happy and relieved.
I reach the hospital and go to the front desk to find out what room Catherine is in.
I feel nervous as I walk to her room.
What if she's decided she isn't interested in me anymore?
Those thoughts are pushed from my mind when I reach Catherine's room.
Lindsay is snuggled up next to Catherine on the bed, fast asleep.
Catherine is asleep too, her arm wrapped around Lindsay.
They look so cute, and so peaceful, I can't bear to wake them up.
Instead, I pull up a chair next to the bed and stroke Catherine's hair lightly.
I'm exhausted. I haven't slept in twenty four hours at least, and despite six cups of coffee in the past four hours, it's hard to stay awake.
Normally, I can stay up forty eight hours without a problem, but I've been on such an emotional rollercoaster, it's all catching up on me.
I pull my chair closer to the bed and rest my head on the edge of the bed, wrapping my arm around Catherine.
I'll just take a nap.

Catherine's POV

I wake up feeling a lot better and a lot more rested.
Maybe they'll let me go home tonight.
Afternoon sunlight is streaming through the window and playing across my daughters face.
She must have been exhausted, she's still asleep.
Hold on, if Lindsay's here, who's behind me?
I turn my head, and see Sara's sleeping form, her head resting on the bed.
I lean down, my muscles aching, and kiss the top of her head.
Slowly, she wakes up and her eyes meet mine.

Her smile is huge as she reaches out and brushes a strand of my hair from my cheek.
"Morning sleeping beauty."
I return her smile and lean into her touch.
"I could say the same thing to you."
Her expression turns serious.
"God I've missed you so much. I know you've only been gone a day or so, but it's felt like weeks."
"I know what you mean. All I could think about was you and Lindsay. I take it Grissom told you what happened?"
She nods.
"We almost lost you."
"All I can say is, thank god Grissom acted so quickly."

She doesn't reply and I sit up slowly, not wanting to disturb Lindsay.
"Baby, what's wrong?"
She leans forward and pulls me into a hug.
"I just can't believe you're here," she breathes, her head resting in the crook of my neck, "I can't believe this is real."
I pull away from her so I can see her face again.
She looks happy, confused and sad.

I lean closer to her again and brush my lips against hers, but pull back before either of us deepens the kiss.
Lindsay is asleep next to me, and anyone could walk in.
Still, it was nice to at least kiss her, even if it was just for a moment.

I pull her closer for another hug.
"Does it feel more real now?"
My face is resting against her neck and I can't help but kiss the soft skin.
I feel rather than hear her laugh.
"That definitely makes it feel more real."

We pull away from each other as a doctor enters the room.
"Ok Ms Willows, there's just a few more things we need to check before we let you go home.."

***

Chapter 19 – Sara's POV

She looks more beautiful than ever when she's sleeping.

I kiss her shoulder lightly, not wanting to wake her up.

Although she's been insisting she's fine since she left the hospital, she hasn't been sleeping so well these days.

She won't talk about what happened with Green, and I don't want to push her.

She'll talk about it when she's ready, whether it's to me, or someone else close to her.

All I want to do know is lie here holding her, revelling in the knowledge she's safe with me.

It's been a month since Green took Lindsey and Catherine, and there hasn't been a day where the three of us haven't been together.

I can't remember if I ever spent so much time with someone I'm dating.

With Catherine, it feels different.

It's…dare I say it…love.

I haven't told her I love her yet, I'm too scared.

I want to, I just…can't.

I know she cares about me, but she's been through so much in such a short space of time, and I really don't want to make things more difficult for her.

At least Lindsey likes me.

She figured it out the day at the hospital just from the way me and Catherine were looking at each other.

Lindsey is the only person knows about me and Catherine yet.

We will tell everyone eventually, but right now we're just taking each day as it comes.

Suddenly Catherine begins thrashing around, whimpering in her sleep.

Another nightmare.

I just hold her tighter, until she settles down again.

These nightmares are becoming a regular occurrence, and every time she has one, it breaks my heart.

"Sorry."

Her voice is muffled into the pillow. I didn't realise she'd woken up.

I sit up slightly so I can kiss the top of her head.

"For what?"
"Waking you up. I didn't mean to."
"Baby, you were having a nightmare, I know you didn't mean to. Besides, I was already awake."
"Ok."

She rolls over so she's facing me and leans in to kiss me.

Her lips are soft and her hands insistent, she's soon trying to pull my pyjama top off.

We haven't had sex at all, other than that first and only time.

We both agreed it should happen when we're both completely ready.

And I'm sure as hell not going to break that rule when she's so emotionally fragile, even though she won't admit she it.

I grab her hands.

"Cath, we talked about this, remember?"
"I'm ready now."
"Catherine…."
She relaxes into me and I snuggle up to her.
"Sorry. I got carried away. I just…needed to feel closer to you I guess."
"I want to as well you know, I just don't feel now is the right time."
She nods and I'm glad she isn't hurt.

Silence reigns for a while, although I know there's something she wants to say.

"Sar…"
"Yeah?"
"I sometimes forget he's dead."

It doesn't take a genius to figure out who she's talking about, but I state the obvious anyway.

"Green?"
She nods again, then sniffs.
She's close to tears, but I don't say anything.
It's her time to talk right now.
"I dream I'm back in the cabin with him, only Lindsey's there too, and he's…"

She curls up into the foetal position and begins to sob.
I wrap my arms round her and rock her back and forward gently.
I'm going to put my heart on the line now, and I just hope to Christ that this isn't too soon.

"He's gone baby, he can't hurt you anymore, not physically. I'm not going to let anyone hurt either Lindsey or you, because…because I love you both too much."

There, I've said it now, too late to go back.
She sits up and looks at me, and her eyes are still filled with tears.

"You love me?"
"More than anyone or anything else in the universe."

She looks away for a second, and I begin to feel insecure, until her eyes meet mine again. She smiling, and my heart lifts.
"I love you too. I love you so much it hurts."
She wraps her arms round my neck and our lips connect.

I lean back so she's on top of me, and suck her bottom lip impatiently, wanting to deepen the kiss.

She moans and I almost completely forget what I'm doing.

My hands move to her hips and it's takes every bit of self control I possess to stop myself from taking off her shorts.

I want this now, now I know it isn't just sex, but about feelings.

But I can't, because she might not be ready.

I pull away slightly.

"That time I almost got carried away."
Her smile is seductive and she sits up so she's straddling me.
"Well…we don't have to get up, so get as carried away as you want."
My eyes are glued to her as she slowly pulls her shirt over her head before turning her attention to removing my shirt. Once it's disposed of, her hands move to the clasp of my bra. I still her movements for a moment.
"Cath…are you sure?"
She undoes my bra, pulls it off, then kisses me softly.
"More than anything, Sar."

She removes her bra and I'm momentarily distracted by the sight of her perfect breasts, but I'm impatient to feel her skin against mine again, so I pull her back on top of me.

Her lips immediately find mine and I'm in ecstasy.

It doesn't take long for us to shed the rest of her clothes, and I switch our positions, determined to make her feel as good as I possibly can.

I start by kissing her mouth, then kissing all way down to her inner thighs.

Her skin is burning, and she can barely keep her eyes open.

I kiss her stomach and her hips buck, but I still want to enjoy her whole body.

I kiss my way back to her mouth and capture her lips, feeling liquid desire run through me as her hands tangle in my hair, keeping me here so I can't tease her anymore. I keep kissing her, but I trace my fingers along her thigh, and her hips buck again. One of her hands finds mine and guides it to where she needs me most.

I smile against her lips, preparing to tease her more as I sit up slightly, but then she moans.
"Please…Sara…just please…"

And at that point, if she'd just asked me to travel to the other side of the world, I would have.

Catherine's POV

I can't remember when I felt so good.

I'm glad we took tonight off, because I have no intention of ever leaving this bed.

For hours we've explored each other, showing each other exactly how we feel.

I rest my head on her shoulder, every muscle in my body aching pleasurably, and smile as Sara drops a kiss on my forehead.

"Can we just stay here forever?"
I laugh.
"I was just thinking the same thing."

She makes me feel so safe, and she knows exactly how to comfort me.

When she told me she loved me, nothing seemed to matter but that, all thoughts of Green were forgotten at that moment.

She's just fucking incredible at every thing she does.

I want her, forever.

We're standing outside the breakroom door, and I can hear the rest of the team inside.

I'm nervous, and I squeeze Sara's hand, wanting reassurance.

Her smile is all I need, and I'm just about to push the door open when she pulls me back.

I give her a questioning look, and she smiles again.

"This just seems so surreal, you know what I mean?"
I giggle.
"Yeah, completely."
"One minute, we're barely friends, and the next, we're announcing to our colleagues not only are we dating, I'm moving in with you..."
"So is it a good or bad kind of surreal?"

Her smile seems to light up the whole corridor.
"Definitely good. It shows that sometimes, dreaming isn't so pointless after all."
She's so cute. Well, here we go.
I take a deep breath, and catch her eye again.
"You ready?"
She kisses me quickly.
"Of course I'm ready, I'm with you."

With that, we push open the breakroom door, ready for anything.

***