Title: Wishing It Was You
Author: Jaxson K.
Pairing: pre-slash Nick/Greg & Nick/f
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
A/N: This is the requested follow-up to If You Were Mine To Lose.

Nick lay in bed thinking of Greg while listening to Jeanine sleep. Every time he tried to close his eyes he kept seeing the hurt and confusion on Greg's face. Nick had done his best to keep from betraying his real feelings in front of Greg, and that's what made remembering Greg's face all the more painful. If the truth were known, Nick honestly didn't know what he wanted. He was torn between what he had always been told was right, and how he thought he really felt. Ever since he could remember, it was drilled into him that you met a nice girl, you marry, and you have a houseful of kids. Nick's problem was that he met someone nice (Greg), but they could only live together and they couldn't have kids (well, they could adopt). He knew that his family would have a wall-eyed fit if he brought a guy home as his partner. Hence the fucked-up situation he was in right now. To make things even more complicated, Greg had admitted his true feelings for Nick, and it secretly made Nick glad to know that Greg wanted him. Nick knew he was going to have make a decision soon because the wedding was only a couple of weeks away. It was either go on living a lie with Jeanine, or come out and be honest with Greg. As sleep claimed him, he had come no closer to an answer than when he lay down.


 

Greg woke up and looked around. He couldn't believe he had slept so long, but then he started remembering the events from the day before. There was something wrong there. Greg knew he hadn't mistaken the signals Nick had given off in the past couple of years. He knew that Nick was attracted to him, and that's all there was to it. That's what made yesterday hurt so much. Knowing a bit about Nick's background helped. The ultra-conservative parents who believed that boys should marry, settle down, and procreative for the sake of having kids. Greg shuddered at the thought of having that for a future. He knew that he had to either find a way to get through to Nick, or move on. Greg remembered that Nick wanted him to be his best man in the wedding. Not a chance in Hell was that happening. How could Nick expect him to stand there and watch as he married that bitch was beyond Greg. He wasn't going to do it, and that was that!


 

The next night at work was awkward to say the least. Greg did his best to avoid Nick at all costs, and was doing pretty good until he stopped into the break room for some coffee. Greg didn't see Nick until it was too late. He made his way to the coffee pot, and that's when Nick spoke. Greg spoke back, and told him that he wanted to let him know that he couldn't possibly participate in Nick's wedding because he had a prior commitment. Nick said that he understood, and turned back to the newspaper he was reading, but not before Greg saw the look of hurt on Nick's face. Greg went back to his lab and thought about what had just happened. He didn't have a chance to reflect on it long because Catherine came in with a boat load of evidence to process, and he had to get the results to her ASAP.


 

Nick sat in his truck waiting for the traffic light to change. He was driving around aimlessly thinking about his encounter with Greg earlier in the evening. He really wasn't surprised when Greg told him that he couldn't be his best man. What really bothered Nick about the whole deal was the fact that Greg sounded so cold and distant, and Nick knew immediately it was because of him. Goddammit, why couldn't he grow a pair and fix this? He was losing his best friend because he was a chickenshit and scared of his own family. Admitting that only made Nick feel worse, and he drove home to try and get some sleep.


 

The next few days seemed to fly by for Nick with having to deal with preparations for the wedding and for Greg with studiously avoiding Nick. They danced around each other at work, and when anyone asked Greg, he said it was because Nick wanted him to be best man and he couldn't because of something else. Everyone accepted this as the truth, and no further comment was made. As the days went by, Nick grew increasingly agitated, but being Nick, he found a way to hide it. Greg watched from afar, but held his tongue. Nick had extended an invitation to Greg for his bachelor party, but Greg declined.


 

On the day of the wedding, Greg was at home getting ready to run errands when someone knocked at the door. Greg looked out the peep hole and saw the Fed Ex guy at his door. When he opened the door, the guy handed him an envelope and had him sign for it. Greg closed the door and looked at the envelope. He recognized Nick's handwriting immediately. He tore open the envelope and began to read.....


 

Dear Greg,


 

I had hoped that I had found the nerve to say this to you in person, but no such luck. I want you to know that I have feelings for you , too, but I didn't know what to do about them. Blame it on my background or whatever. I'm sorry I hurt you the way I did, and I know you hate me. I guess I don't blame you a bit.

I want you to know that what I'm about to say is only intended to show you how sorry I really am about all of this. Today, when I pass by, please turn your head so you don't see my tears, and know that when I look at her and say 'I do”, in my heart I'll be wishing it was you..... Nick


 

Greg blinked through his tears and ran out the door like a flash. He jumped into his little Jetta and tore out looking for the church where Nick was getting married. Once he found the church, he had to park a couple of blocks away. As he ran up the sidewalk, he hoped he wasn't too late. As he stumbled into the church, he could hear the minister saying the part about anyone having just cause that this couple shouldn't be united in holy matrimony, speak now, or forever hold your peace. Greg pushed open the door to the chapel yelling,”Wait!!! I have just cause right here...” as he waved Nick's letter in the air.


 

THE END