Title: Bleeding Heart
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Post-ep for the S11 CSI: Vegas episode "Cello and Goodbye," and a sequel to the Greg/Nick fic "One More Try". Completely unrelated to the other Greg/Nick series that I write.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Nick smiled as he made his way down the hall to the locker room; his shift was nearly over, and this was the day he and Greg were going to go out and talk about their differences. He was confident that by the end of the day, his boyfriend would be back with him.

He was going to do better when it came to putting Greg first on his list of priorities, he told himself. There'd be no more running off when he had made Greg a promise; he was going to stop putting his job before the man he loved. He'd had enough of that.

The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Greg again. He was going to turn down Catherine's constant requests to work late, stop putting his job first. It was past time that he started behaving more like a boyfriend and less like an automaton, only interested in his job.

Before he went to the locker room, he'd just drop by the DNA lab where he knew that Greg was working on processing some evidence he'd collected, Nick decided, taking a detour down another hallway. He wanted to see Greg, to confirm that they were going out.

He made his way down the hall to the lab, the smile still on his face. Pausing in the doorway, he took in the sight in front of him, one that he had been used to seeing for a long time, but that he would never get tired of looking at, no matter how many times he took it in.

Greg was bending over a microscope, obviously looking at something he'd brought back as evidence. He had a look of intense concentration on his face, a look that Nick loved to see. He'd never seen anyone look so sexy as Greg did when he was deep in thought.

He could stand here and watch Greg all day, Nick thought, leaning against the door frame and watching his lover at work. And not just here -- he could watch Greg concentrate on doing anything, from working in the lab to cooking spaghetti in the kitchen at home.

What would he do if he no longer had that in his life? He could feel his heart clutch in his chest at the idea; he didn't want to think about the possibility of losing Greg. That wasn't going to happen, he told himself firmly. They'd just had a misunderstanding, that was all.

And besides, Greg was right. He had been neglecting his boyfriend for his work, and he'd been an idiot not to see what he was doing. From now on, he was going to treat Greg better, and not let anything stand in the way of their time together.

How could he have been such a jerk as to leave Greg alone on his birthday? He should have told Catherine calmly but firmly that he had plans that couldn't be broken, and that someone else would have to find Ray. Anyone else could have done it. He hadn't needed to be there.

He didn't blame his boyfriend for being angry with him. He was upset that Greg had taken his things out of the house, but in a way, Nick couldn't blame him for that, either. If he didn't feel that Nick wanted to spend time with him, of course he would take his belongings back home.

He'd probably have done the same thing if he was with someone who he felt was neglecting him for their job, Nick thought, closing his eyes for a moment. But it had hurt much more than he would have expected it to; it felt as though his heart had been ripped out.

That was what it would feel like to lose Greg for good. His heart would remain broken and bleeding; it would never heal from such a loss. The wounds that would be inflicted on him from losing the love of his life could never be healed .They would bleed forever.

His heart was already torn and bleeding; he didn't want those wounds to be exacerbated. But even worse was knowing that he had hurt Greg badly enough to make him want to leave -- and the knowledge that he was seeing other people now.

He wanted to ask Greg what had happened with that man he'd gone out with last night; he wanted to know everything that had gone on, whether he'd touched Greg, whether he'd kissed him good night -- whether the two of them had ended up in bed making love.

But he wasn't going to ask. That was Greg's business, not his -- and besides, he didn't think that Greg was the kind of person who would end up sleeping with someone on the first date. When they had first gone out, it had taken them two months to sleep together.

That had been because Greg hadn't wanted to jump into the relationship too quickly, and Nick respected him for that. Greg wasn't the kind of guy who was just going to sleep around indiscriminately; Nick didn't believe that he already had a relationship with this man he'd met.

And he wasn't going to, not if Nick could help it. He was going to get Greg back; he was going to show him that he could put their relationship before his job and not have a problem with doing so. He was going to spend the rest of his life making Greg happy.

Just as the thought coalesced in his mind, he heard a footstep behind him and turned around to see his boss standing there, a little catlike smile on her face. His heart sank; he knew what she was going to say even before the words came out of her mouth.

"I need you to pull a double, Nick," she told him, her voice brisk. "I've got too much to do, too many things piled up on me. I need you here. I know it's a Sunday, but you can take a day off later in the week. The job always comes first, at least for you."

Nick shook his head, horror starting to spiral through him. That didn't sound like a request; it sounded like an order. And he wasn't going to let her destroy his life like this; he'd already told people that he had a date, that he was looking forward to having the day off.

Catherine must have heard, and she was going out of her way to destroy his personal life. She would waltz out of here five minutes after she'd made Nick promise that he would stay, and an hour from now, she would be fucking her boyfriend without a thought for her job.

"Sorry, Catherine, I can't," he said, keeping his voice cool and calm. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Greg straighten up and look towards the door; his boyfriend could hear every single word he was saying, and he couldn't let himself back down.

Catherine shrugged, looking annoyed. "I have to know that I can count on you to do the job when it needs to be done, Nick," she told him, her voice becoming sharper. "If I can't, then I'll get somebody else. But don't count on getting anything in return if you're not ready to make sacrifices."

She didn't understand what kind of a sacrifice she was trying to force him to make, Nick thought, his mind whirling desperately, searching for some way to say no. He would be willing to sacrifice anyone else, but not Greg. Never Greg. He couldn't let this chance slip through his fingers.

But what choice did he have? He couldn't just say no and walk away; if he did, then when the promotions came around, he would constantly be overlooked. He would be at the level he was for the rest of his career, with no chance to advance and do better.

He knew that was what she was counting on, that she used such leverage to get her way. She was sneaky and underhanded, and didn't give a damn about anyone's feelings or their personal lives as long as she got her way. She was the worst possible choice to run this team.

Nick couldn't believe that the words came out of his mouth even as he was saying them. "Okay, Catherine, if that's what you need." He was horrified to hear the words, stunned that he could even have considered saying them. What was he doing?

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Greg shake his head and turn away in disgust, and he could feel the wound in his heart splitting open, feel the blood gushing out. What had he done? Had he lost his one chance to make things right again with the man he loved?

Catherine had already turned away, a satisfied smile on her face. "Thanks, Nick. I'm going home, you can find what you need on my desk." At that moment, he hated her more than he'd ever hated anyone. The bitch had backed him into a corner, getting her way as usual.

When she had gone, he slowly walked into the lab to stand beside Greg, his heart feeling as thought it was made of lead. Greg didn't turn to look at him; he acted as though Nick wasn't there at all. And at the moment, Nick didn't blame him one bit.

"Greg, I ...." He wanted to reach out and place a hand on Greg's shoulder, to apologize for what he had done, but he knew that there were no words he could say. Even though he was standing right beside Greg, the other man might as well be a million miles away.

"Skip it." Greg's voice was terse, angry. "You didn't have to give in to her. But your damn job is obviously a lot more important to you than I am, so you can keep bowing down and kissing her ass. It's not my concern any more. I don't care what you do."

With that, he left the room, not looking at Nick as he went. Nick watched him go, feeling that his heart was walking out of the room along with the man he knew he'd just lost for good. This had been his last chance to win Greg back. There was nothing he could do or say now.

The wound in his heart was bleeding openly, and he had the feeling that it would never stop. He had made his choice; he'd chosen the job over Greg, and he already knew that he had made the worst mistake of his life. But now, there was no going back.

He wanted to drop his head into his hands and sob, but he couldn't. There was too much to be done. Sighing, Nick headed for Catherine's office, pushing the pain he felt in his heart to the back of his mind. He could think about what he'd done later -- and spend the rest of his life regretting it.

***

Next story in series - Say It Isn't So.