Title: Drowning Sorrows
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: PG-13
Table: Liquids, mission_insane
Prompt: 7, Liquor
Author's Note: Post-ep for the S11 CSI: Vegas episode "Cello and Goodbye", and a sequel to the Greg/Nick fic "If Only". Completely unrelated to the other Greg/Nick series that I write.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Nick Stokes, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Nick frowned as he stood at the kitchen door and stared at the bottle of Scotch on the counter; he knew that Greg had poured himself a drink, and he didn't like the idea. His boyfriend was still trying to drown his sorrows in liquor when he was depressed, and that wasn't good for him.

Greg hadn't been much of a drinker before the tragedy of Jonah's death; now, it seemed that he had a drink in his hand every night when they got home from work. Nick didn't know if anyone else realized that Greg was drinking more, but he couldn't help but notice.

He wasn't living with Greg again, but Nick hoped that would happen at some point. Still, Greg spent enough time here for him to know that his boyfriend's drinking habits had changed. Greg had never been much for drinking until all of this had happened.

At least he could be thankful that Greg wasn't drinking himself into oblivion, he thought, wincing and pushing that image away as quickly as he could. He'd seen Greg drunk a few times, but that last time -- when he'd found his boyfriend in a bar after Jonah's death -- had been hard to deal with.

He didn't want to think that Greg could become an alcoholic, but he was sure that if the younger man kept on at the rate he was going, it would happen. He wouldn't think that he drank to excess, until one day it sneaked up on him that he had a hard time getting by without a drink.

They had to nip that habit in the bud before it started -- and that meant that he had to take the proverbial bull by the horns and confront Greg about his drinking now. It couldn't wait any longer -- if he didn't try to do something about it as soon as he could, everything would escalate.

Greg wasn't in the living room; Nick walked through the house, peering into the bedrooms and the bathroom, but his boyfriend wasn't there. He only knew of one other place where Greg could be; he had to be on the back porch, probably nursing his drink and looking up at the darkening sky.

He didn't want the younger man to drink tonight; he might only have one drink and it might not impair his work at all, but they still had to be at the crime lab by midnight, clocking in for their shift, and he didn't want to think that Greg was still under the effects of alcohol.

He would try his best to talk the other man out of finishing that drink, if he hadn't already -- and he would try to talk to Greg calmly and rationally about the fact that he seemed to be drinking a lot more than he used to. He didn't know if it would help, but he still had to try.

Sighing, he pushed open the door to the back porch; Greg was indeed there, sitting on the steps, an empty glass beside him. Nick groaned inwardly; Greg had obviously already had a drink, and he was too late to stop him from trying to drown his sorrows in a liquor glass.

He sat down beside Greg without saying a word, trying to marshal his thoughts and figure out something to say to start a conversation that wouldn't sound too much as though he was lecturing the younger man. But before he could say anything, Greg turned to him, holding up a hand.

"Before you say anything, I didn't have a drink," he said, shaking his head and gesturing to the empty glass. "I was going to, but when I sat down out here, I realized that I didn't want it. It might hurt to think about Jonah, but being numb and not feeling anything would be even worse."

Nick couldn't stop himself from heaving a sigh of relief at Greg's words. "I was going to say something about how I don't think it's a good idea for you to be drinking when we've got to work tonight, but I'm glad you figured that out for yourself," he said softly, reaching for Greg's hand.

"I can't keep trying to drown my sorrows in liquor," Greg said, shaking his head as Nick twined their fingers together. "That isn't going to do me any good, and I don't want to wind up with a drinking problem. It's not like I really wanted a drink, anyway. It was just something to take my mind off .... everything."

"It takes a strong man to turn away from a potential problem instead of just drifting into it and letting it grow," Nick said, his voice very soft. He hoped that his tone was reassuring; he wasn't exactly sure of what to say, now that his reason for talking with Greg was gone.

"I've got to put the past behind me, and keep moving forward," Greg said, sighing and looking down at their clasped hands. "I know that means a future with you, Nicky. And I want that. But I don't think the grieving process is over yet. It's still going to take some time."

Nick nodded, willing to accept that Greg still needed some time before he could commit to a new relationship. "I'll give you all the time you need, babe," he said, his tone reassuring. "I'm not going anywhere, Greg. I'm here for you -- and I'll be here with open arms when you're ready."

"I know you will, Nicky." Greg smiled at him, a smile that melted Nick's heart. How could he not wait for a man who made him feel like this? With one smile, one touch, Greg could make him feel as though he was melting into a puddle at his feet. And even make him like that feeling.

"I'm just glad that you've decided you don't want to keep drowning your sorrows in liquor," Nick continued, his words a little hesitant. "I don't want to preach to you, Greg. That's not going to do any good, and I know it. But I was really starting to get worried."

Greg shook his head, picking up the glass with his free hand and giving it to Nick. "There's nothing to worry about," he said, his voice firm. "I'm not going to start drinking to forget about Jonah. I'd rather deal with some emotional pain and remember the good times than lose it all in a drunken haze."

"I know it's hard to believe right now that the pain won't always feel so intense," Nick told him, squeezing his hand gently. "But it will, Greg. Losing Jonah isn't always going to hurt so bad. The pain will be a little less with every day that goes by. It won't ever go away completely, but you'll heal."

Greg nodded, sighing softly as he did so. "I know, Nicky. It's already starting to get a little less intense, even though it still hurts. I guess that's one thing that scares me," he added in a low voice. "That I'll start to forget him, and how much I cared about him."

"You're not going to forget him, babe." Nick wished that he could take Greg into his arms, but he had a feeling that this wasn't the right time. He could be here for Greg, comfort him, even hold him when he needed it, but he had to try to be a friend first and foremost, not a lover.

"Maybe that's why I've been drinking so much," Greg continued, a hint of regret in his voice. "Because it feels like that makes him come to life more vividly. If I'm a little hazy, it's like I can keep his memory right there in the front of my mind. I don't want that memory to slip away, Nick."

"It won't," Nick assured him, hoping that he was right. "But memories are designed to fade, Greggo. They're made that way for a reason. If they didn't, you'd spend your whole life living in the past with those memories, instead of looking ahead into the future. That wouldn't be a good thing."

Greg heaved another sigh, then turned to Nick with an expression of determination on his face. "I know you're right," he said, his voice sounding stronger than it had since they'd begun talking. "And I'm not going to let myself live my whole life with memories, Nicky. You can count on that."

"That's good to hear," Nick told him with a soft smile. He could feel his spirits lifting at Greg's words; he felt a profound sense of relief at hearing them. He'd been wrong to worry so much about his boyfriend. Greg wasn't the kind of person who would let himself sink into permanent melancholy.

He might have tried drowning his sorrows in liquor for a while, but Greg was intelligent enough to know that it wasn't the answer. He should have known that his boyfriend would lift himself out of that hole he'd started to dig for himself, and that he would never look back.

Nick reluctantly released Greg's hand and got to his feet, then held out his hand again to help Greg get up. He didn't want to sit out here for the rest of the evening. "Come on, babe. Let's go out for dinner before we go to work. I kind of feel like having a good time tonight."

"I think I do, too," Greg said, smiling as he got up. "Let's go. I don't know about you, but I'm starving." He led the way into the house, almost dragging Nick behind him in his eagerness. Nick couldn't hold back a smile; it seemed that Greg's days of drowning sorrows were now over, and he couldn't be happier.

***

Next story in series - The Right Wish.