Title: Fate's Plan
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Series: 1) Catch Me I'm Falling, 2) Sparks, 3) Holding Steady, 4) More Than Ready, 5) Talk About It, 6) Confessions
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: R
Author's Note: Mentions of rape.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Adam Ross, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

"Are you sure that you're ready to hear this?" Ryan murmured, almost wishing that he hadn't brought up the subject. It had been enough for them both to let Greg talk about his past; revealing his own might be an overload of emotion far too soon.

But he didn't want to keep any secrets from Greg, either. And what had happened only a few weeks ago in Miami had been instrumental in his decision to leave the CSI team there and transfer to Las Vegas, even though he'd enver told anyone there about it.

Greg had a right to know, if the two of them were going to be involved. Especially since he was obviously -- and with good reason -- nervous about being the bottom in a sexual relationship. Ryan could only hope that he would be able to assuage those fears.

It wouldn't be easy for him to talk about -- but then, it hadn't been easy for Greg to talk about the assault that he'd survived, had it? And that had been Greg's first time ever with a man. Ryan's experience hadn't been his first, thank goodness.

He didn't know how he would have reacted if that had been the case. He wouldn't have pushed any and all men away, but he wouldn't have been able to have any healthy relationships for a long time to come. He might not even have been able to be with Greg.

That would have been a tragedy of epic proportions, Ryan told himself as he settled more comfortably into Greg's embrace. If he had come here and then hadn't been able to pursue a relationship with Greg, it would have been a terrible waste for both of them.

"Are you okay?" Greg murmured, his voice jerking Ryan away from his thoughts and back to the present. He could feel the other man's breath warm against his skin, those strong arms wrapped around his waist, holding him close. Greg might be thin, but he wasn't weak.

"Yeah," Ryan said, closing his eyes and leaning back. He took a deep breath, trying to make himself relax. "You want the long version, the short one, or somewhere in between?" he asked, trying to make light of what he was going to say.

"I'm ready to listen to whatever you need to say," Greg told him, his voice soft and gentle. "Whatever it is, it's not bad enough to make me care about you any less, okay? Just let it out, Ryan." One hand moved up Ryan's arm, stroking soothingly over his skin.

Ryan took a deep breath, wondering exactly how to start. "If you guys got to read my file, then you know that I left Miami because of some of the run-ins I'd had with local gangs," he began, sighing as he spoke. "I'd been undercover too many times to be of a lot of use there anymore."

Greg shook his head, then rested his cheek against Ryan's hair, his arms tightening almost protectively around the other man's waist. "I didn't know that, but go on," he murmured, encouraging Ryan to continue, but not pushing him to speak before he was ready.

"The last time I went undercover, the gang I was trying to infiltrate found out who I was the day before the team was going to pull me out of there," Ryan told him, his throat closing on the last few words. "Just one more day, and it would have all been okay."

"I'm just glad they got you out of there," Greg said, his voice shaking slightly. "You could have been killed when you were undercover, couldn't you?" he whispered, pressing his cheek against Ryan's hair. "And then I'd have never met you. I'd never even have known you existed."

"I thought I was going to be," Ryan replied, his voice hoarse. "When they found out I was a cop, they .... tortured me. I didn't think it was going to be more than a really bad beating, and I wasn't sure I'd survive that. All I could do was hang on and hope I'd live."

"It was more than a beating, wasn't it?" Greg asked, a catch in his voice. "What the hell did they do to you, Ryan?" His arms had tightened convulsively around Ryan's waist; Ryan placed his own hands over Greg's, trying to calm the other man somewhat.

"I'm here, and I'm safe, and I'm alive. That's the only thing that really matters now," he whispered, hoping that his words didn't sound sanctimonious. He hadn't thought that at the time; he'd wondered if he would have felt better if he had died from the torture.

"The gang leader took me into his office when they were done with me," Ryan whispered, unable to make himself speak any louder. "Two of his goons tied me up, stripped me and bent me over his desk, and he --" He closed his eyes, swallowing hard, unable to go on for a few moments.

"He raped you, didn't he?" Greg asked, the words barely audible. "That fucking bastard. If he ever comes to Vegas, he's dead, I swear he is. I'll kill him with my bare hands. I'll rip him to pieces. I'll --" He broke off, his chest heaving as he drew in one deep breath, then another.

"Yeah, in a manner of speaking," Ryan said, his words coming slowly. He didn't know if he should try to cushion what could be a blow to Greg, or if he should simply come out and state what had been done to him, without beating around the bush.

Without thinking, the words came out before he had meant them to. "He shoved his gun inside me," Ryan said, shocked at himself for describing it so baldly even as he spoke the words. "I didn't know if it was loaded or not. I was scared to move. I thought if I did, he would --"

Ryan broke off, unable to continue speaking. It took him a few moments to realize that Greg was crying; the other man's face was pressed against his hair, his hot tears falling into Ryan's hair and down his cheek. Greg as was actually crying over him.

Without a word, Ryan clasped Greg's hands in his own, holding onto the younger man as tightly as he could. If only Greg had been there when all of this had happened, he might not have had to leave Miami and all that he'd felt was his home and his security.

But if Greg had been there, then he still might have wanted to leave his job anyway. It hadn't been an easy decision for him to make; he'd been through a lot with the people on his team, and he was close to all of them. They were all people he respected and cared for.

Still, they'd all understood that he'd needed to get away from all the reminders of the life he'd led in Miami; he had to start fresh somewhere else, some place where he could still feel that he was doing some good, at a job that he loved, without all the baggage that Miami piled onto him.

"H-he .... He wh-what?" Greg sobbed, shaking his head as though he was unable to believe the words that Ryan had said. "How could anybody do something like that to another human b-being?" His body was shaking, his hands trembling in Ryan's, his voice breaking.

"Shhh, sweetheart, it's okay," Ryan said softly, wishing that he could turn around and take Greg in his arms, find some way to comfort him and assure the other man that he was all right. But was he? Would he ever be all right again, until he'd put that experience behind him?

Maybe Greg was the person who was meant to help him do just that. Maybe being transferred here and having the luck of the draw to be partnered with Greg, to have him be the first person that he met when he joined the Vegas CSI team, had all been part of fate's plan for his life.

If that was the case, then he couldn't find it within himself to completely regret what had brought him here. It had led to him meeting Greg -- and if, as he strongly suspected, this man was meant to be the love of his life, then he could almost thank fate for what had been done to him.

"I'm glad you left Miami," Greg whispered, raising a hand to his face to wipe ineffectually at the tears that were still streaking down his cheeks. "A place that would let the people who're protecting it from criminals be treated like that doesn't deserve you."

"I'm sure pretty bad things can happen here in Vegas, too," Ryan said softly, managing to disentangle himself from Greg's embrace and turning around. He pulled the other man into his arms, letting Greg curl up against him and rest his head against Ryan's shoulder.

"Y-yeah .... They do ... B-but ...." Greg shook his head, his voice gaining strength as he spoke. "I wish I had been there. I'd have kept that bastard away from you. I wouldn't have let him touch you. I'd have taken him out, Ryan, I swear I would have. I wouldn't have let him hurt you."

"I know you would have," Ryan murmured, closing his eyes and brushing his lips across Greg's forehead. "And now you'll be there with me whenever either of us gets into a bad situation. We'll have each other's backs. And I've got to admit that I'll enjoy looking at your backside."

That made Greg laugh, just as Ryan had hoped it would. "Hey, what do you say we .... find something to do with the rest of the night other than talk about the past?" Ryan said softly, his eyes on Greg's face. "I'm pretty sure that between the two of us, we can come up with some ideas."

"I want you to take me to bed," Greg told him, those dark eyes not wavering from Ryan's. "I don't think either one of us is ready to make love tonight, but I want you to hold me. I want to wake up in your arms when the sun's coming up in the morning."

"I think that sounds like a perfect way to spend our first night together," Ryan told him with a smile, bowing his head to capture Greg's soft lips with his own. The kiss took his breath away; he hadn't expected such desire to spring up between them so suddenly.

When they finally broke away from the kiss, Ryan stood up silently, holding out his hand to Greg. The other man reached for his hand, leading him through the apartment and down the hallway to the bedroom, each of them wondering just where the rest of the night would take them.

***

Next story in series - Exposed.