Title: A Matter of Feeling
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Series: 1) Catch Me I'm Falling, 2) Sparks, 3) Holding Steady, 4) More Than Ready, 5) Talk About It, 6) Confessions, 7) Fate's Plan, 8) Exposed
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Mentions of rape.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Adam Ross, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Ryan woke up slowly, blinking as he slowly realized where he was. He wasn't in his apartment in Miami; that life was far behind him, miles away in his mind as well as in actual distance. He was in Las Vegas now, starting a whole new life.

He wasn't in his hotel room in Vegas, either. No, he was in Greg's apartment -- in Greg's bed, with Greg fast asleep in his arms. Of all the places he'd expected that he might wake up, this definitely hadn't been one of them -- but he certainly wasn't complaining.

How had he ended up doing this? He had been so sure when he'd moved to Vegas that he wasn't going to get involved with anyone; no new relationships, no special person in his life until he'd settled in and he was feeling comfortable here, with his new job and his new surroundings.

When he had first seen Greg Sanders, those good intentions had gone right out of the window. All he'd been able to think about was how much he wanted this young man; it had been impossible to resist the lure of that incredible smile, those beautiful dark eyes, that amazing body.

It hadn't occurred to him until this moment, waking up with Greg in his arms and a pearlescent dawn just starting to streak the sky outside, that they were going to have to be extremely careful about making their relationship public. And it wasn't going to be easy.

Would he be able to keep his emotions out of his gaze whenever he looked at Greg? Would he be able to act as though they were just professional partners and friends, and that this man hadn't compeltely captured his heart?

Ryan seriously doubted his ability to do anything of the sort. His feelings for Greg would be obvious any time he looked at the other man; he was surprised that he hadn't already worn his heart on his sleeve on his first day at work.

How much longer would it take before the entire team knew how he felt? And how much longer would it take for them to figure out that Greg returned those emotions? They all seemed like very astute people; it wouldn't be easy to hide anything from them.

They'd have to hide their feelings as best they could, Ryan told himself with a sigh. He didn't want to be transferred to another shift so soon after starting here, or have Greg transferred away from a team that he loved and trusted, and was used to working with.

More than that, he didn't want to give up the opportunity to work with Greg on a daily basis. He would feel much safer knowing that his boyfriend wasn't going into dangerous situations alone, that he would have someone who loved him watching his back and protecting him.

His boyfriend? Was he already thinking of Greg in that capacity? They'd only spent one night together; they hadn't even had sex yet, and they'd only known each other for a little over twenty-four hours. Yet he already thought of Greg as being his.

What would Greg think of that? Ryan couldn't hold back a smile as he looked down at the young man who was clasped in his arms, his head pillowed on Ryan's shoulder. There was a soft smile curving Greg's lips; he looked very young and innocent -- and completely desirable.

But he wasn't going to rush things between them, Ryan cautioned himself sternly. He'd wait until Greg was ready, however long that might be. After hearing what he'd had to say about his first experience of being with a man, the last thing Ryan wanted to do was push him.

If he could, he would track down that bastard and kill him. He was damn lucky he was already dead, Ryan thought, a scowl settling onto his features. He wanted to kill anyone who had ever hurt Greg -- including all the people in his past who had apparently hurt him emotionally.

How could anyone not want more than a one-night stand with this exquisite man? Greg seemed like the kind of person who anyone would jump at the chance to have a relationship with -- but maybe people here saw relationships in a different light than most did.

After all, Vegas wasn't exactly the sort of place people came to when they were looking to find the love of their lives. They came here for a good time -- and that usually included nameless, faceless sex. It broke Ryan's heart to think that anyone could have used Greg in that way.

He would never do anything like that. He wanted to make Greg's life beautiful, not use him and throw him away. In fact, he .... Ryan's eyes opened wide at the thought that had just crossed his mind; it seemed an impossible way to think about someone he'd just met.

He would marry Greg if he had the chance. He'd like nothing more than to make Greg his in name as well as in the emotional sense, to walk down the aisle with him and exchange vows and wedding rings. He could see that in their future -- though it might take quite a while to happen.

Was he crazy to be thinking about such a thing so soon after they'd first met? He didn't think so; it didn't feel strange or bizarre to have those thoughts in his head, it just felt right. It felt as though this was what he'd been meant for, where he'd always been intended to be.

Maybe this was what it meant to fall in love at first sight. Ryan had never believed in that concept; he had always thought that love would take time to grow, that he had to get to know someone well before he could even think about uttering that four-letter word about them.

With Greg, it was completely different. Greg made him feel things that he'd thought only happened in fairy tales and bad romance novels -- and those emotions had begun to stir in him when they'd first looked into each other's eyes. If that wasn't love at first sight, what was?

He had no idea how Greg felt about all this, of course. But he would ask -- and he wouldn't let himself be afraid of what the answer might be. Greg didn't seem like the kind of guy who would make fun of Ryan's feelings, and he knew that he would get an honest answer.

Ryan almost wanted to wake Greg up at this moment and ask him what his feelings were, but he decided against it. After all, there was plenty of time for Greg to decide how he felt, and for their feelings to develop. There was no reason to hurry, no reason at all.

Other than the fact that he knew he'd fallen more deeply in love than he'd ever thought he could be, Ryan told himself, holding back another sigh. And even though he was fairly sure that Greg felt the same way, he wouldn't know for certain until the question was out in the open.

Should he bring up the question today, before they had to go back to work? Or should be let it come out naturally, without forcing the issue? He didn't know which would be best -- but he knew that he needed to find out just how Greg felt.

He'd just have to be patient and let Greg's feelings develop, even if they took more time than his own had, Ryan told himself firmly. Rushing Greg into anything would only make him back off -- and that would be a tragedy for both of them if it happened.

It was all a matter of feeling -- what he felt, what Greg felt, and how their emotions would fit together. That was all any relationship was, wasn't it? If you were lucky, the other person felt just as intensely as you did, and your emotions melded with each other.

He had never been lucky enough to have that kind of relationship -- at least not one that had lasted into the long-term, Ryan thought regretfully. But maybe that didn't matter now. If he'd been with anyone else, then he wouldn't be here -- and he wouldn't have met Greg.

There was no one else he would want to spend the rest of his life with, no one in his past that he'd ever thought about in that way. He'd always thought that something was wrong with him because he had never met that one person who made his heart turn over.

Well, now he had, he thought with a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He had finally met the man who set his heart aflame, the man who he wanted to have in his life and his heart and his arms -- as well as his bed -- for the rest of their lives.

He could only hope that Greg felt the same way about him already -- and that if he didn't, that those feelings would have a chance to grow. He was sure that they would; he wouldn't be here, lying in Greg's bed and holding this man in his arms, if Greg didn't want to be with him.

Ryan tightened his arms around Greg as the other man stirred beside him, obviously starting to wake up. He didn't know where the future might take them, but wherever it was, he hoped that they would stride into it hand in hand, together in whatever that future might bring their way.

***

Next story in series - Loving Every Minute of It.